


Catfishing

by Shapooda



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Anal, Gills, Hand Jobs, M/M, Merpeople biology, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, blowjob, merman ichigo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:06:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 72,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24285568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shapooda/pseuds/Shapooda
Summary: Trapped and kept as an exotic pet in a glorified fishtank, Ichigo can only rely on one person to free him, and the hope the man's curiosity outweighs the risks.
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 236
Kudos: 692





	1. Encounter

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Restricted Work] by [Muritel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muritel/pseuds/Muritel). Log in to view. 



> Thank you, Attu, this title is a national treasure and I cherish it. In honor of mermay, here we go~
> 
> Reiatsu ex machina power: Aether (thank you Mire)

Heard you were thirsty for some merman art ovo [Check out this merman Ichi](https://twitter.com/Maca_Montze/status/1268776805441384448) by Maca Montze! 

\---xxx---  
  


**Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez**

The murmur of voices and tipsy yet polite laughter rang in the hall with the clink and shimmer of wealth, floating above a demure and well-practiced quartet in the corner. A slow-paced and inoffensive song filled the hall and made Grimmjow’s blood burn with the desire to break something. The first thing to go would be the delicate flute in his hand, the champagne swilled rather than savored, so now he carried it around as an expensive souvenir.

Idly spinning the glass between his fingers, Grimmjow longed for the weight of a gun or a knife, anything that wasn’t this fancy ass delicate shit. He had his sword at his side, but mostly for decorum, every man present had one, and he knew from experience that those fancy dresses did more than push up their breasts, sometimes there was nasty shit hidden under all that embroidery. 

His scowl was enough to deter most from speaking to him, despite his rakish good looks––he knew damn well he was a looker. His duster and high boots, however nice, were testament to a lower class, and that only left the bravest and most contrarian of the group to try to speak to him. 

Those that gossiped were left to wonder and assume how he’d ended up there at all. Pink hair was all the rage among young girls, his hair color was nothing shocking, but the style and his build steered most toward the conclusion he was a soldier. Close, but no dice.

Something cut through the glare of high society, something that didn’t belong, something that raised the hair on the back of his neck.

A hum.

So deep, and so subtle, at first he didn’t realize what it was. The partygoers didn’t seem to notice, and if they did, they didn’t care.

In all reality, he should have ignored the humming entirely; he was there to work, not get sidetracked, but his instincts pressured him to be alert. _For what?_ He saw no threat, but he felt it in his bones as sure as a storm.

The natural lull and flow of the crowd put him directly in front of the fishtank that took up the entire far wall. It was as tall as the room, at least three stories, full of swaying kelp, small sharks and schools of colorful fish. The scene was fairly dark with the low light of the party, a romantic setting, probably, if the blushing and giggling girls were anything to judge it by. The water cast rippling beams of light and shadow over the sharks swimming loops in the enclosure, but he couldn’t see the back of it; it was clearly meant to be lit from the sun, not a room full of candlelight.

It was an expensive looking aquarium, but Grimmjow came here expecting to see a disgusting overuse of wealth when he strolled through the door. The gold leaf on the crown moulding was a dead giveaway; this man had been filthy rich.

Grimmjow wasn’t here for his possessions, and he wasn’t interested in some fat-cat’s eccentric desire to show off some fish. The oceanic scene displayed within was nothing like her mother, raw and savage. This was poor mimicry at best, tame and romanticized and pretty.

The sound was stronger by the smooth glass of the tank, so he thought it was reasonable to assume this was the source. His eyes lingered on dark water, searching for a disruption in patterns, anything to give way to what was inside. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but it wasn’t the leopard sharks or grouper. Something in there was dangerous.

Now that Grimmjow was paying attention, he could see the long trenches carved in the glass. They were reflected by the candlelight _inside_ the tank, the outside was spotless. That got Grimmjow’s attention. What the fuck did he have in there with _claws_?

Something moved against the current, his eyes catching a hitch in the sway of kelp. Light glinted off of something that seemed almost metallic, golden even, then drifted back into shadow. Pacing along the front of the tank, Grimmjow dragged his fingers over the glass, leaning in, trying to get a better angle. Something glowed dimly in the dark, obscured by dancing shadows and kelp; a raw, bio form of aether. Something was alive in there, and it could use _aether_.

“It came with the estate.” Grimmjow flinched, and made a point to turn slowly. He was so focused on what was in the tank, he almost forgot about what was outside of it. 

Aizen stood beside him, hair slicked back in a simple yet blindingly expensive white suit. He held a short glass in hand, something murky and green and wholly unappetizing to look at. Aizen reached out with a free hand and plucked the champagne glass from Grimmjow’s hand. “Be kind to the dishware, please, that’s one of a kind.”

Grimmjow relinquished his deathgrip on the crystal and Aizen set it on the tray of a passing server. Grimmjow glanced back into the tank, the metallic shimmer gone, then shot Aizen a questioning look. “What is it?”

“Seems our dear friend Yamamoto recovered something from his deep sea mining efforts. Seems he used it for decoration.”

Grimmjow caught a flurry of motion out of the corner of his eye, then jumped back at the sudden thud against the glass, fiery orange filling his vision. It took him a moment to make sense of what he was seeing, his eyes wide in shock.

“It isn’t fond of humans,” Aizen spoke flatly. 

Golden hair floated ethereal in the water like flames, and Grimmjow’s eyes locked on piercing yellow, shocking against black sclera. The silhouette it cut seemed human enough at first glance, but tiny details caught Grimmjow’s attention and led him astray from that conclusion. 

Stripes slashed across a very human face, drawing vicious lines down its neck and across its chest and torso, all the way down a slender, flexible, red tail, so sharklike in form. Its skin glittered like it had been dusted with gold, from the tan skin of it's chest to the base of its fins.

Whatever it was, Grimmjow struggled to discern a gender; it was beautiful, and it hadn't stopped trying to kill him. Razor teeth were bared in aggression, and even with a foot of glass between him and this creature, the screech of blackened talons was distinctly audible, as much as the increased hum, basso enough to make his eyes vibrate. 

Aizen continued, tone conversational despite the rage from the creature on the other side. “Especially those gifted with the aether.”

“What is it?” Grimmjow asked.

Aizen chuckled, a quietly condescending sound, and paced in front of the aquarium. The man watched in amusement as the creature followed him from behind the glass with a powerful flick of its tail. “Pretty, isn’t it? Surely you’ve heard of mermaids? This,” Aizen gestured, “Must logically be a merman.”

Grimmjow wondered if he was being talked down to. Everyone heard of mermaids, sirens and the like, but most assumed they were stories. 

The merman bored of Aizen and twisted to drift over to Grimmjow, fins flaring to slow himself. The glass and reflections and darkness disrupted his view, but this close and this still, Grimmjow noticed a collar. “What’s that?”

Aien looked, but his attention was already elsewhere. “You’ll have to ask his keepers, I’ve been too occupied to get a briefing on the furniture.”

Grimmjow thought the merman heard and understood perfectly well, because its tail streaked with red aether and it rammed the glass, teeth bared in a silent snarl. This merperson was clearly intelligent, it knew there was no hope of breaking its enclosure, but hate and frustration seemed motivation enough to try.

Grimmjow noticed he wasn’t the only one to take notice, a small crowd had gathered near the tank, and Aizen retreated to the other side of the room. People tapped and outright hammered on the glass to get the merman’s attention.

Fins flared in aggression, the merman shot his onlookers a hate filled glare, and instead of attacking the glass, a lazy flick of his tail sent him back into the shadows at the far end of the tank. Grimmjow was struck with sudden pity, his guts clenching in distaste. The onlookers were just drunk enough to not be deterred, their attention locked on the shadowy corner of the aquarium. 

This was just a box, a prison. It was wrong.

So Grimmjow looked at something else. If it was unpleasant, he ignored it, like everything else in his life.

Eventually, once it became clear the merman wasn’t interested in being a sideshow attraction, the crowd filtered away, and eventually the party was over and Grimmjow was allowed to leave. 

The first thing he did was head outside for a cigarette, lighting one up in a dark shadow on the house, someplace no one would bother him or ask questions. He let out a slow exhale, his head falling back against the house. He watched the smoke spiral above his nose and whisper out, and his thoughts circled back to the creature in the tank. Funny that something that existed underwater could have so much fire. 

High society was dull. He was finally at the top, but now what? Bubbly drinks and fine music and polished floors? He wrinkled his nose in disgust and threw down his cigarette, crushing it under his boot. He had someplace he’d rather be.

He circled around the side of the house, boots squelching on a dew soaked and manicured lawn until he found the tank. It was dark save for the glow of a waxing moon and a light from within the house some yards away. There was a mechanical hum and an extra partition built onto the house that seemed out of place. He could smell the brine of salt and hear water lapping the sides of the tank, he knew this was it. 

There was a flight of metal stairs lining the far wall to a deck partitioned off by a railing. After a cursory glance around, Grimmjow took the stairs, his boots rattling the metal in a way he thought might warrant investigation, but no one came.

At the top of the stairs he saw a complex piping system clinging to the side of the tank, to a surface covered by thick metal bars. His arm could easily fit through one, but it seemed clear this was added secondary to the main structure to keep something in, as the bolts and latches were far less rusted over than the rest. 

Staring down into black water, Grimmjow saw nothing, but he felt the creeping sensation he was being watched. Sinking to a cautious crouch by the edge, Grimmjow did something stupid.

He reached out through the bars, hand hovering just above the surface, disturbed ripples lapped at his palm. The water was as cold as he expected ocean water to be. He shifted, boots squeaking on metal grating, and let his hand sink below the surface. 

The chill spread up his arm, he couldn’t see anything beyond his fingers, pale against the inky dark. This took the prize for stupidest thing he’d ever done; fishing with his own arm. Hells, he was stupid. 

A tense moment passed, then another, and he dropped his hand deeper. The water soaking into the sleeve he had scrunched up around his elbow. He felt the acid bite of fear in his gut. This wasn’t his domain, it was alien and unforgiving, and he felt the distinct fear of trespassing. _Take the bait, you stupid fish._

There was a flash of gold and his arm was wrenched, his face slamming down against metal bars. It rang with a metallic clang off of his forehead and cheekbone, pain lancing through his skull and up his arm. He grit his teeth with a groan, squinting through pain, and looked down into dark water. His blood drifted in a red cloud around his arm, and he saw more than felt the talons that were hooked into his forearm. 

All in all, he got what he wanted; the merman had his arm captive and he was pressed against the grill of a fish tank with nowhere to go.

His sword dug into his hip and his arm screamed in protest when the merman tugged harder. Grimmjow wasn’t sure if the merman was keen on removing his whole arm or just punishing him for sticking his hand where it didn’t belong, but it fucking hurt. “Hey asshole,” Grimmjow growled. “Now that I’ve got your attention…”

The merman pulled harder, more blood pooling in the water. “Ow!” Grimmjow snarled. “I know you can hear me you big stupid fish. I could kill you if I wanted to, but I won’t, I ain’t a fan of shooting fish in a barrel.” He fed his aether for a brief moment, the ley lines glowing a faint blue, just to prove his point. 

The merman’s grip stayed as steady as before, but grew no worse. So he was listening. Grimmjow committed to a hunch. “That collar does something to your aether, doesn’t it?” Ley lines like that, this fish had some serious aether, some glass shouldn’t be enough to stop him. And that was a fucking tragedy.

The pressure on his arm lessened, but not enough to pull his face off the grate. The merman shifted his other hand higher up on his arm, out of the water, his claws sinking through his jacket into the flesh of his bicep. Grimmjow’s eyes locked on blackened claws, glinting under the moonlight, then back on fiery hair that drifted through his blood towards the surface. Flat golden eyes stared up at him, unblinking, but narrowed, thoughtful. Grimmjow wasn’t so sure he liked that look, it was too intent. 

Without the distortion of glass and constant movement, Grimmjow got a more accurate look at him, and despite the pain, he couldn’t help feeling a level of awe. The merman tore his claws from his lower arm, pain quelled by the chill of the water, and reached up for his neck.

Grimmjow tensed, aether spiking in warning. “Heyheyhey, _fish_.”

The merman paused, hand hovering so close to his neck his instincts writhed to push him away, but Grimmjow’s hand didn’t move from the bar by his ribs, bracing himself.. 

The merman blinked a third, milky eyelid at him, and reached again, very slowly, seemingly aware how precarious his position of power really was. Grimmjow held his aether ready, nervous, but allowed it. 

The merman gripped the bar by Grimmjow's neck, but didn’t actually touch him, and pulled himself from the water with what appeared to be a massive heave of effort. Grimmjow grit his teeth as talons sunk deeper into his arm, the merman climbing him like a jungle gym. His hair clung to his skin in chaotic swirls, moonlight giving form to features that had otherwise been obscured by dark markings and shifting shadows.

Stark yellow eyes were just inches away from his own, and without a ton of water between them, they shone like molten metal, catching Grimmjow off guard with their sudden depth. 

That hum was present in the air, deep and strong enough to make his eyes water, and to Grimmjow's sudden shock, the merman's lips were suddenly pressed tight against his own, claws shifting from his arm to his shoulder and neck. His grunt of pain and displeasure was muffled by the merman's mouth. His lips were warm, like a human's should be, not the freakish fish he expected. 

A half second after he was on the receiving end of the most awkward assault on his mouth of his life, Grimmjow realized it wasn’t a kiss at all, the merman was using the proximity to _put his aether in him_. Panic kicked him in the ass and he lurched backwards, but the merman had a solid grip on his upper back and weighed more than a grown tiger. Grimmjow could bite him, but when the merman had a mouth full of shark teeth, he had to concede the upper hand, he didn’t want to lose any part of his face. 

The instant Grimmjow began to gather aether into his hands in defense, the merman’s weight suddenly vanished. Grimmjow was free to scramble back to the safety of the deck, heart pounding in his chest. 

Giving himself a once over, he still had all of his limbs and he was still in one piece. Twisting his arm under the moonlight, Grimmjow inspected his injuries. The claws that had dug into his arm had been shockingly purposeful, puncturing rather than shredding, and the water had made those injuries look more grievous than they really were. 

Grimmjow called out, nerves settling. “ _Fish_ , what the fuck?”

That humming was back, but it felt like it rang between his ears, all the way into his teeth. Grimmjow made a distressed sound, the feeling unfamiliar rather than unpleasant. Words seemed to form in his head. _‘Calm down, I barely touched you.’_

It was a weird sensation, but it was clearly words. Grimmjow snapped, ‘You could have asked!’

‘ _First of all, it’s easier to ask forgiveness, and second, why do you think I didn’t speak to you before?’_

Grimmjow paused. That was a good point. The merman was so close to the surface his fin cut a knife’s edge through the water like a shark, but Grimmjow had a feeling the other was fairly relaxed. Grimmjow asked, “I don’t get it, what exactly did you do?”

Grimmjow thought he heard amusement. _‘I kissed you.’_

Watching a gold dusted fin, Grimmjow demanded, “Fuck off, what did you _do_?” 

The spines in the fin Grimmjow could see pulled closer together, relaxing into an acute angle. Grimmjow wasn't sure why his current attitude would warrant relaxing, but he didn't know shit about merpeople; maybe he was flat out reading him wrong. 

The merman answered, _‘You were right, the collar negates aether, which is the primary way my kind communicate and I decided I wanted to talk. I needed close contact to get my aether inside you.’_

Grimmjow felt the urge to gag, but that might have been the head injury. “Gross.”

_‘I know. At least you’re easy on the eyes.’_

Grimmjow wasn’t sure what to do with that, so he changed the subject. “You seemed real interested in killing me earlier.” He asked, “What changed?”

_‘You didn't.’_

Grimmjow stared blankly at the merman. “I didn't what?”

Grimmjow thought he heard something resembling impatience. _'Want to kill me.’_

“You couldn't have known that,” Grimmjow argued.

_‘So feeding me your arm was part of your insidious plot to kill me?’_ The merman’s tone was deeply incredulous. _‘My mistake.’_

Grimmjow flushed. “How the fuck else was I supposed to get your attention?”

The fin disappeared beneath the surface and Grimmjow lost track of him until he surfaced at the edge nearest to him. The merman stayed submerged from the nose down, clawed fingers curling around metal bars. Grimmjow was once again taken aback by those eyes, shockingly warm, for a murderous fish thing. 

Shifting, Grimmjow pulled himself over, sitting cross-legged within arms reach of the merman, and the other didn’t seem bothered by his proximity.

The merman’s brows drew together in a chiding look. _'You could have just asked for it. You didn't have to be so dramatic.’_

Grimmjow leaned forward on a bent knee. “And _you_ didn't have to give me ten new arm piercings.”

The merman's eyes narrowed with a smile Grimmjow couldn't see. _‘I thought you might have second thoughts. My mistake.’_

Grimmjow noticed there was a flicker of aether in him that didn’t belong, his own aether would cannibalize it in moments. He looked from his own hand back to the merman. “This isn't going to last.”

_'Unless the collar comes off, or you're feeling nostalgic for that kiss, it won't.’_

Grimmjow could already feel the distance in the merman’s voice. He asked, “Why did you want to talk?”

_‘Isn’t it obvious?’_ The merman said.

Running his hand through his hair, Grimmjow let out an annoyed sigh, giving the wall of the mansion his most irritated glare. “You want out,” He said dryly.

_‘Wouldn’t you?’_

Grimmjow cast a look of distaste over the surface of the tank, and his eyes settled back on gold. “Yeah.”

_‘So get me the hell out of here.’_

“I won’t exactly go unnoticed dragging a two ton fish down the street.” He was being sarcastic, but he honestly had no idea how this fish expected him to get him out without half the city noticing.

The merman rolled his eyes and said, _‘Get the collar off and get me out of the water, that’s all you need to do.’_

Grimmjow blinked at him. “You can survive without water?”

_‘What do you think the bars are for?’_ The merman asked.

Grimmjow made a face. “Uhhh, to keep you from _killing_ people?”

The merman smiled darkly. ‘ _That too._ ’ His eyes shifted to Grimmjow’s arm and the blood soaking white fabric. ‘ _I’m surprised._ ’

“By what?” Grimmjow asked.

_“My claws are poisonous, and you don’t seem that bothered.’_

Grimmjow snorted. “Oh, explains the burning. I thought it was the fuckin sea water.” Whatever expression flitted across the merman’s face, Grimmjow couldn’t pin it down, but it was a look intense enough to make him fidget. “What?”

The merman asked, _‘What’s your name?’_

“Grimmjow.”

The merman’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. _‘Your real name.’_

Nose wrinkling in a sneer, Grimmjow growled, “That’s the only name yer gettin’, fish.”

_‘My name isn’t fish. It’s Kurosaki Ichigo.’_

“Kurosaki...huh.”

The merman cocked his head, questioning.

“Doesn't sound very fishy.”

The merman's eyes narrowed in annoyance. _'Grimmjow. Is that because of that scar on your face?’_

Grimmjow bristled. “None of your business. I don't have to help you, _fish_.”

The merman sank lower in the water, expression suddenly withdrawn. He uncurled his fingers from the bars and twisted, diving back beneath the surface. 

Grimmjow watched the ripples on the surface of the water slosh up against the walls of the tank, the only real sound in the silence.

_'You don't.’_

Grimmjow didn't like how resigned the merman sounded. He stood, wincing when it pulled the wounds on his back. He wasn’t a pussy, but it still hurt. Feeling the merman’s eyes on him from the darkness of the tank, Grimmjow scowled. He lifted a hand to his brow, face scrunching up in pain at how tender that was. “Fucking fish,” he grumbled. 

Casting a look at the stairs, then back at black water, Grimmjow said, “I’ll be back.” He wasn’t sure if the merman heard him, but for whatever insane reasons he might attribute to his sudden desire to help, he was going to get Kurosaki out. Maybe it was his new head injury, or boredom, or sheer spite at the man that owned his life, but he sure as shit was going to find a way.

  
  
  



	2. Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo acts out.

\--- xxx ---

**Kurosaki Ichigo**

Aka  _ Fish _

  
  


Days passed, and he saw no sign of Grimmjow. He would be the last to admit he was looking for him, but being studiously ignored or gawked by the rest of the household and their guests was less than appealing. Grimmjow hadn’t gawked at him like he was a trophy, he  _ looked _ .

And then Ichigo lied to him. That kiss wasn’t to transfer his aether, he could have done that through his claws, and if Grimmjow really stopped to think about it, he would realize that. The kiss was out of fear. He didn’t want to die alone in a fucking fish tank, he needed an out, and that blue-haired walker was the first human to even show a flicker of empathy, and he didn’t want to lose his chance.

So he used every bit of influence the siren side of his blood held and tried to hook the man’s attention. He wasn’t sure if the humming worked or if the man was simply innately curious. Ichigo wasn’t smooth like a siren, far from it, he didn’t even know if it worked, what with his sudden assault and pain, but judging from the taste of the man’s emotions...the violence might have actually helped matters.

Weird, but he wasn’t going to complain.

It might still be a bit early to overreact, but he had fears Grimmjow was never coming back. Swaying someone that didn’t want to be swayed was impossible for him, but his song was enough to lure in those that listened, and those that weren’t already on guard. He wasn’t sure where Grimmjow lay on that spectrum. Even if he got up close and personal with his emotions, anything subtle only confused him. 

Swimming circles in a tank a hundred square kilometers too small was stifling and maddening. The sun shone through to the bottom of the tank a mere four hours a day, and the rest of the time he was trapped in cold shadows. It made him feel restless and sick, and he stubbornly refused to think about it. He missed home, this place was hollow.

There was simply nothing to do. The boredom ate away at him like acid. Chasing the sharks in his tank wasn’t cutting it; they were happily fed and slow with nowhere to run.

Grimmjow had been a temporary diversion in a cold, joyless hell.

He was feeling particularly spiteful when his keepers came to feed him that day. He’d ignored them for days when they came by to dump day old fish into his prison, but that day, someone made a mistake. The metal grate on the tank was opened frequently, but always with precaution. Staring up through a turbulent surface, Ichigo saw a silhouette unmarred by bars, standing alone. If anyone paid even a modicum of attention, they would have seen it coming. 

All it took was a powerful flick of his tail and he'd breached the surface in a spray of cold water, arms wrapped around the man's torso. They were suspended in a deadly embrace for a heartbeat, a wordless sound of panic squeezed out of the blonde, then Ichigo dragged them both under with a splash that had every other human present scrambling into action. 

The man squirmed and thrashed to free himself, leaving a trail of startled bubbles behind him. Ichigo heard the shouts from above the water and ignored them, dragging the man to the bottom of his tank. 

Ichigo let him go, not really interested in killing anyone, but it felt nice to remind the humans just what they were dealing with. 

The blonde oriented himself, awkwardly twisting and treading water to get Ichigo in his sights. Clothes floated around him and weighed him down, his eyes flicking to the surface in a quick calculation of his odds. They were bad, very bad. 

The man kicked off the glass wall for the surface, avoiding the center of the tank where Ichigo prowled. The blonde broke the surface with a gasp, then submerged again to look for Ichigo, his back pressed against a faux rock wall. Red eyes stared back at smoldering gold, flat through the haze of saltwater. The man took a risk, kicking off the edge for the opening in the metal grate. 

Ichigo didn’t even have to try to cut off his escape. He could have let the man retreat to his corner, but Ichigo was feeling vindictive. With a sweep of his tail, he snagged the man by the shirt, dragging him down to the bottom only to let him go, watching the man struggle for the surface like a rising cork.

This went on for a few minutes, with Ichigo lazily drowning the man while the men on land struggled to come up with a solution. Ichigo was expecting many things, but to hear a man-sized splash wasn’t it. That wasn’t the sound of a clumsy fall into water, that was the sound of a skillful, intentional dive. Someone jumped into his prison intentionally.

Turning, Ichigo watched with wide eyes as bubbles dissipated and revealed blue hair, weightless and swirling like lye around piercing blue eyes. 

Grimmjow.

The man looked angry, maybe even personally offended. Eyes the color of warm, placid seas were now turbulent and narrowed at him in such vehemence, it gave Ichigo pause. He was so startled, he did nothing when the human brazenly swam past him and put himself between Ichigo and his victim. 

Fins splayed to steady himself, Ichigo watched Grimmjow return for air only to duck down and fix him with another glare. Ichigo's shock passed, and it was his turn to be angry. 

Days of nothing and Grimmjow shows himself only because he  _ had  _ to? That meant he was close at hand all this time, just out of reach. What right did Grimmjow have to be angry that he’d retaliated? It might be petty, but it was better than doing nothing, than becoming a decorative piece of furniture for humans that saw him as an animal at best.

He switched targets, he knew Grimmjow could feel it well as all prey did in the sights of a predator. Grimmjow shoved the human away from him and braced himself, a knife appearing in his clenched fist. Ichigo hadn’t seen him draw it, he’d been distracted by his own outrage, but the blade bloomed with light from the surface and made it easy to track. 

Fins spreading to display threatening spines, Ichigo bared pointed teeth in a silent snarl. Grimmjow brandished the dagger and readied himself, betraying how sluggish his movements were underwater.

With a powerful sweep of his tail, Ichigo shot through the water like a loosed bolt. Even if he moved with a speed Grimmjow didn't expect, Ichigo felt the hot slice of a blade through his shoulder when he slammed into Grimmjow's side. He ignored the pain and dragged him down deep into the tank, intimately aware of how brittle his aether shield was with the influence of that collar.

Catching Grimmjow's arm before he could wedge that knife between his ribs, he was shocked to feel the bite of steel anyways. It punched into his back, scraping ribs and narrowly missing his gills, exactly where a human's lungs would be. Letting Grimmjow go with a snarl of pain, Ichigo lurched away, putting distance between them with a flick of his tail. The tip of it clipped the human, he felt the shock of it, so it took looping back to notice the streamers of blood left in his wake. Grimmjow held yet  _ another _ knife, one that had apparently notched his tail deeply enough to draw blood.

Ichigo reached for the knife in his back, wrenching it free with a grimace. Eyes turning back towards the human, Ichigo saw that the other wasn't unscathed. His shirt floated around him in ribbons, intermingled with the bloom of fresh blood. Beneath the kelp-like sway of his clothes, Ichigo could see the red streaks where his claws had ripped open his flesh. He had aether, he could smell it, so why hadn't he defended himself?

Whatever he wanted to do with him, Grimmjow needed air, he saw that clawing desperation in his eyes. 

Ichigo watched the human tread water with narrowed eyes. Dropping the knife, Ichigo spared him one last glare, then swam away, leaving Grimmjow to save himself. 

He would have thought pain might have fed his anger, but Grimmjow's unwillingness to fight folded it in on itself. 

Concealed among the shadows of swaying kelp, Ichigo reached back for the stab wound along his back, taking stock of the damage. His fingers brushed over the ugly split in his flesh with teeth bared in pain. It hurt like hell, but he hoped it wasn't life-threatening. At least...normally it wouldn't be. 

Undernourished and without his aether, he simply didn't know.

Time crawled by so slowly, Ichigo had plenty of time to focus on his injuries. Grimmjow got him good, Ichigo was actually impressed. He'd underestimated the human, or rather, the man was just that talented.

When the moonlight replaced the cool shadows of twilight, the pain in his back dulled with the chill, but he had a sinking feeling it was worse than he thought. Caught in a spiral of dread, he found himself wallowing in self-pity. It was a poor choice, but he had nothing else to do, and nothing to occupy his thoughts.

  
  


He brooding was interrupted by the splash of a disturbed surface. He felt it crawl over his skin, his instincts lazily wondering if it was live prey. Glancing up, Ichigo saw the hand slapping the water. Body language alone told him it was Grimmjow; bossy and impatient. He considered ignoring him, but he had too many questions unanswered, and knowing that Grimmjow was fine filled him with a contradictory sense of relief.

Swimming closer to the top of his prison, Ichigo remained as hidden as was feasible from the shadows. Circling the far side of the tank, Ichigo heard the distorted, but distinct sound of Grimmjow's voice. “Heeeeey, fish. Hey, are you dead?”

Still uncertain he wanted to interact, but craving something to break his solitude, Ichigo swam close to the top of the tank, enough that the tips of his fins broke the surface. His proximity must have startled Grimmjow, because he jerked his hand back from the water, suddenly wary.

“Good. I got questions for you,  _ fish _ .” His voice floated over the water, crass and loud. “You tried to kill my man!”

Ichigo’s tail twitched harshly to one side in aggressive confirmation, sending a wave of water into the wall with a slap. He didn’t have any regrets over it either; As far as Ichigo was concerned, they were all his enemy. 

“Why?”

Asking questions as if he could answer. Irritating. 

“Fish!”

Ichigo clenched his jaw and circled back, fins splaying as he surfaced near the edge. Grimmjow’s boots squeaked on slippery metal flooring as he backpedaled. There was no fear on Grimmjow’s face, only caution. The human crouched back down once he was certain he was out of arm's reach, his gaze assessing, and Ichigo wished he’d stop looking so closely. 

Folding his arms on the side of the pool, Ichigo rested his chin on his arms and glared. He was exhausted, but he could spare the energy for spite.

“You look awful,” Grimmjow said.

Ichigo curled a lip, flashing some teeth, but otherwise remained still.

Grimmjow sneered in return, but his gaze was no less penetrating for it. “You’re a moody fucking fish, you know that?”

Back fin lifting above the surface, Ichigo let out an aggravated rumble. He felt justified in his ‘moodiness’. 

“I ain’t mad at you for taking my man for a swim. Yylfodt’s a dumbass, he shoulda known better. But me? Ya came after me like I fucked your girlfriend. The fuck did I do?”

Scowl deepening, Ichigo couldn’t answer, but even if he could, he didn’t know what he’d say. 

Grimmjow searched his face for an answer, and Ichigo wasn’t sure if he found one. His eyes wandered, and something like concern flickered across the man’s face. “Hey, show me your back.” Ichigo didn’t move, and when Grimmjow shifted to move closer, Ichigo pushed away from the wall back into the water. 

“I know ya ain’t scared of me,” Grimmjow growled. “I smell it on you. Show me.”

Ichigo wondered if that was a saying; humans couldn’t smell like that. Compared to the first night, it was even darker, he shouldn’t be able to see much more than his silhouette, yet Grimmjow’s eyes wandered with acute clarity. If he was asking to see, then the darkness really wasn’t bothering him, and if Ichigo let him see, Grimmjow would know exactly how weak he really was. That thought bothered him. 

Diving back beneath the surface, Grimmjow hissed after him, “Fish!” A moment passed, and Ichigo saw his silhouette carved out against the sky. “ _ Kurosaki _ .” Persistent.

Ichigo ignored that call, circling through the kelp. It trailed like fingers over his sides, the illusion of touch, and was equal parts comforting and lonely. 

Eyes turning skyward again, Ichigo didn’t see Grimmjow’s silhouette. He was both relieved and disappointed. If he died because of his stupid pride, so be it; none of these people would miss him, and by now, anyone who cared about him had probably already mourned. 

He was shaken from that thought by the squeal of rusted metal hinges. Twisting around to look, Ichigo got a barless view of Grimmjow’s silhouette as he yanked off a boot. He couldn’t be serious?

The rest of his clothes followed that boot, accompanied by grumbles and swears. With a sudden splash and explosion of frothing bubbles, Grimmjow jumped in.

The man had to be insane, he was wearing nothing but briefs, exposing pale and scarred skin. He was weaponless, unless he happened to keep one shoved up his own ass. 

Treading water, Grimmjow pushed the water with cupped hands and spiraled, locking eyes with Ichigo, jaws clenching tight with both the cold and determination.

Surging from the dark, Ichigo slammed Grimmjow back against the side of the tank with a solid hand on his chest. Grimmjow’s jaws parted, air knocked out of him with a burst of bubbles, but he stared at Ichigo in fearless clarity, pupils cut like black diamonds. Grimmjow could  _ see _ him, and he wasn’t human. Ichigo’s grip loosened in shock, yet no attack came, Grimmjow had literally thrown himself at his mercy with no intention of fighting back. 

Ichigo’s face contorted in hurt and anger. Was he so deserving of pity he would show up  _ unarmed _ ? Grimmjow’s glare was accusatory in a way, as if Ichigo was the one to blame for this. 

It became clear Grimmjow needed air, and Ichigo was unwilling to drown him so close to the surface when he wouldn’t even fight. This man deserved to die with more dignity than that, no matter how annoying he was. 

Lifting his hand from his chest, Grimmjow brought his arms down and kicked for the surface, gasping for air. He didn’t drop down again, and he didn’t get out of the water. Ichigo saw his head track the swish of his fins through the water, waiting, expectant. 

Minutes passed, and Grimmjow didn’t leave, he merely gripped the bars above the tank and waited. He started to shiver in the water, a reaction his body couldn’t hide, and Ichigo hoped that meant he would give up.

He didn’t. 

Nearly half an hour passed and Ichigo cursed his soft heart. Circling up around Grimmjow, Ichigo surfaced near his chest, close enough to touch. Grimmjow trembled with the cold, but he didn’t have an ounce of fear in his eyes. 

Blinking his third eyelid back, Ichigo stayed submerged from the nose down, keeping his gills firmly beneath the water. Grimmjow’s cheeks were red, water beading on pale skin. His hair was plastered to his forehead and cheeks, drying in unruly hunks. The way he gripped the bars left him completely open to attack, the man had to know that, yet he did it anyway.

Grimmjow said, “You thought I left you here? You think I pity you?” He clenched his teeth to stop them from chattering and hissed, “I  _ do _ pity you. Stuck in a  _ box _ ,” he snorted. “I ain’t gonna fight you like that, you stupid fish. I don’t take pride in beating a wounded animal.”

Ichigo flinched, his pride twisting in anguish. It hurt because he was right. His own anger earned him a dagger through the ribs but he wasn’t much better off before that. He was dying a slow death of confinement and no one cared. No one but this blue-haired asshole.

Tail swaying below the surface, Ichigo reached up for the bars with his right arm, pulling himself out of the water so he was eye to eye. His eyes slipped down to Grimmjow’s lips, and back to his eyes, seeking confirmation.

Teeth clattering together, Grimmjow hissed. “Ya think I jumped in here for my health? Get on with it.”

Ichigo reached for him, and Grimmjow stiffened, but didn’t pull away. Fingers tracing the dip of his collarbone to his neck, his claws parted wet strands that clung to his skin. Ichigo leaned in and hesitated, finding this kiss to be remarkably more intimate than the first. This time they were eye level, and Ichigo had plenty of time to consider what he was actually doing. He was too weak to try to sway Grimmjow with his siren side, this was just a kiss. But Grimmjow didn’t know that.

Hand gripping the back of Grimmjow’s neck, Ichigo ducked in close in one swift motion, pressing their lips together. Soft, nothing like the first time, and cold. Grimmjow was far too cold. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the slow exchange of aether, and missed the hand that fisted in his hair until he attempted to pull back.

His instincts writhed under the sudden loss of mobility, a growl thudding through the water in warning.

Grimmjow twisted his grip, forcing Ichigo to lean into his hand and growled back. “Now show me.”

_ ‘I’m fine.’ _

The sound of his voice was still strange to Grimmjow, he saw it in the way he cringed. The man bared his teeth in a snarl that looked more like a grimace. “Liar, you look sick, you  _ smell _ sick.”

_ ‘What would you know? You’ve never met my kind before.’ _

“I ain’t stupid, I know sick when I smell sick, now show me.”

_ ‘What are you?’ _

“Ya wanna know so bad? Show me and I’ll consider it.”

Ichigo frowned and said,  _ ‘I need to breathe.’  _

Grimmjow studied him, then let him go once he decided he wasn’t going to go anywhere. Ichigo sank below the surface, gills fluttering, and he reached back up for the bars. He pulled himself up out of the water, the night air somehow warmer than the confines of his tank. Water cascaded over his arms and plastered his hair to his back and chest, clinging to the edges of the wound on his back. He went against all his instincts and turned his back, shifting his grip on the slippery bars overhead. He used his left arm to pull his hair back over his shoulders, clenching his jaw at the twinge when his hair cut like a knife’s edge through the open wound. 

“Tsk...goddammit.”

Ichigo had yet to see it, but he wasn't sure he wanted to. Grimmjow’s fingers brushed away strands of hair, his nails raking over his skin to catch loose strands. His fingers strayed too close to his wound and Ichigo flinched. Grimmjow continued, a little more gently than before. “I got you good, didn’t I? Damn.”

Ichigo let out rumble close to a grunt of agreement, then stiffened when he felt Grimmjow’s hand near his neck. Ichigo shot him a warning look, but Grimmjow ignored it, brushing his hair aside to get a good, close look at the collar. Ichigo shifted to the side, but Grimmjow caught him by the hair, holding him still. 

Ichigo’s gills splayed, eager to breathe, he felt the tightening in his chest. Grimmjow twisted his grip, tugging his hair, and Ichigo hissed, the sound crocodilian and threatening. 

Grimmjow abruptly let him go. “Breathe, then come back.”

Ichigo thought about a retort, but he couldn’t think of anything fittingly spiteful. Sinking back beneath the water, Ichigo caught his breath and returned, hands on the bars above to keep him out of the water. This time he was facing Grimmjow, eager to turn the conversation away from his weakness and back onto the man.  _ ‘You said you would tell me what you are.’ _

“No, I’m gonna  _ show _ ya,” Grimmjow snapped. “Yer aether is completely cut off, you’re not healing  _ at all _ . Gonna die before I can even find the key to that fucking thing.”

Ichigo thought he hid his fear on that grim possibility pretty well, he really didn’t want to die a decorative pet. _ ‘You’re looking for a key?’ _

“Told ya I didn’t leave you, ya stupid fish.” Ichigo blinked at him and tried to wrap his mind around that. If his anger and panic wasn't really justified, then he'd feel even stupider about the whole affair. Sure, the mansion was bigger than his tiny view of it, but it didn't mean it was easy to convince his feelings of that fact. 

Grimmjow studied him and made an observation. “You really thought I wasn't coming back?”

_ 'What was I supposed to think?! I don't see anything but three walls and an empty room, all day, every day, DOING NOTHING!’ _

Ichigo's isolation and restlessness were reflected in the tension in the other's jaw and the severe crease of his brow. It was uncomfortable for his anger to be seen through so quickly and easily, but he couldn't keep pretending he wasn’t desperately, maddeningly  _ lonely _ .

Grimmjow’s voice sounded rougher than before. “My mistake.”

He wasn’t expecting the man to agree, or just get over it. Something about the entire situation filled the man with regret. He’d come out fairly unscathed, so maybe that was it. The situation was unbalanced, and it seemed to bother this man more than he wanted to admit. 

Grimmjow warned, “Don't flip out.”

Ichigo cocked his head in confusion, but Grimmjow had already closed his eyes, focusing his aether. It was like the gentle bioluminescence of a shoreline at first, but it brightened rapidly, and as it did, Grimmjow  _ changed _ . His ears grew longer, furred, his features sharper and more pronounced. He grit his teeth in what looked like pain, teeth lengthening to more closely resemble his own. 

It didn't take long, all things considered, but Ichigo was taken aback when Grimmjow opened his eyes. Blue, searing, beep blue, glowing dimly with coiled and simmering aether. They were beautiful, and he was struck with the stark realization that Grimmjow was strong. 

Ichigo knew that without his aether at his disposal, Grimmjow could kill him with ease. It was the sheer amount that the other had been holding back that filled his chest with the acid of shame. Grimmjow had been toying with him and he'd dealt him an injury he couldn't heal from without even meaning to. He sank lower in the water, and as if reading his urge to flee, a clawed hand shot out, gripping his hair in a fist. 

“Don’t know what that look’s for,” Grimmjow growled, “But I’m promising I’ll get that thing off. Tonight.”

Uncomfortable in the claws of a predator, Ichigo tugged backward to free himself and asked,  _ ‘Don’t promise if you can’t follow through.’ _

“Showed you what I am, didn’t I?” Grimmjow bared pointed white fangs. “I ain’t a liar.” 

The man abruptly let him go, and Ichigo sank back beneath the surface. He could see then that Grimmjow’s transformation didn’t stop at furred ears. He had a tail, stripes glowing with brilliant aether. In his own element, on dry land, he must be something fierce. To give up that edge at all should be proof enough he wasn’t lying.

Ichigo couldn’t find it in his pride to give the answer he should, so with a tired sway of his tail he returned to the shadows with a warning.  _ ‘I don’t think I have a lot of time.’ _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the next episode, how will Grimm get the key? Will Ichigo die? uvu


	3. Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone dies.

\--- xxx ---

**Grimmjow**

He hadn’t jumped into that tank with the express purpose of making an insane promise to a  _ fish _ . But there he was, freezing cold and treading water with a deadline he hoped he could keep. If the merman had been semi-healthy before, he looked like death now. His eyes were dull, no longer backed by aether, and he was weak, enough that Grimmjow knew he had no reason to fear him anymore. That truth twisted his insides. Something so beautiful and powerful didn’t deserve this. And it was his fault.

Maybe the merman’s pride took a hit knowing he couldn’t stop it, but Grimmjow was the one that dealt a serious blow to a cornered animal. It felt like kicking a hungry, frightened stray; it felt shit.

Pushing his transformation back down, Grimmjow hauled himself and what felt like 2 tons of water out of the tank, shivering madly now that he was drenched and standing in crisp night air. He loathed being wet, especially when that liquid was saltwater. Too bad he didn’t have time for a shower. Stupid fucking promises.

He’d planned ahead this time, bringing with him a couple of towels. Trudging back to his quarters last time with sodden boots hadn’t been fun. 

By the time he was dry enough to dress himself, his shivers had subsided, and his thoughts were racing to find ways to reach his goal. The key might be something beyond his reach, so if not a key, then a way to remove the collar without a key, and without killing the person imprisoned in it. 

Closing and locking the metal grate above the tank, Grimmjow cast a final look into rippling shadows for the merman. Even with his keen sight, he saw nothing. How something so large and beautiful could disappear so easily shocked him. He spoke down at the water. “I’ll be back.”

He hesitated when he got no answer, chewing the inside of his cheek, and finally stood. The only plus side here was that Aizen saw Kurosaki as a passing fancy, and wasn’t altogether very interested in him. That meant he had a real chance of freeing him. 

Taking the long way back inside, Grimmjow was so lost in his own thoughts, he turned a corner and nearly ran straight into Ulquiorra. The man gave him an assessing look. “Go for a swim?”

Grimmjow ground his teeth and tried to go around him. “Sure.”

An arm barred his path. “It’s a little late for that.”

He couldn’t lie, the fucker would know, or be suspicious enough to follow through. He was still in uniform, sword at his hip, so either he was on his way to do something, or he’d just returned. With his luck, the bastard had nowhere to be.

Grimmjow rocked back on his heels and told something of the truth. “I’m in charge of the fish, right? Stabbed the bitch earlier, wanted to be sure he was still alive.”

“I didn’t know you cared so strongly about it,” Ulquiorra said. He lowered his arm, but expected more, eyes searching him for a lie. “Well?”

“Well what?” Grimmjow growled.

“Is it dead?”

It. Like he was a toy. Grimmjow clenched his teeth and considered lying again, but Ulquiorra seemed to be waiting for that. “Not yet, but he will be. Now leave me alone so I can do something about it.”

“I didn’t realize you were suddenly a healer,” Ulquiorra jabbed.

Grimmjow spat, “I ain’t. Szayel is.” He started down the hall again, realizing as he said it that yes, that was the person he needed most.

“What makes you think lord Aizen is so willing to give up such a valuable resource for something so trivial?”

Grimmjow paused and looked back. “It’s the middle of the night, didn’t realize it was working hours.” Ulquiorra said nothing, he only assessed, flat green eyes watching him carefully. “Look, it’s on me if that thing dies, so unless you give me a direct order, I’m waking Szayel.”

Ulquiorra seemed to relent, but he started after him. “Then I’ll accompany you.”

Shit.

“Fine.” 

It grated his nerves having the man just inches behind him, he didn’t even enjoy being in the same room. 

“You smell like dead fish,” Ulquiorra stated.

Grimmjow snarked, “I’m sorry, let me take a quick shower.”

“Hmm.” 

Seemed the Espada didn’t take kindly to sarcasm. Grimmjow felt an itch crawl up his spine, feeling the task at hand was pressing enough to have saved him some pain.

He found himself at Szayel’s door, and sensed no one inside. Frowning, Grimmjow realized he must still be in the lab. Muttering obscenities, he took the halls to the lower level, not happy he had to share the journey with a psycho. 

“I really don’t need a babysitter,” Grimmjow muttered.

“On the contrary,” Ulquiorra spoke smoothly, condescension thick in his voice. “You’ve already almost lost a fraccion, as well as some blood of your own to this fish. Your mistakes are what prompted this visit to Szayel in the first place. I won’t leave the life of a valued Espada in your care, Grimmjow.”

Teeth clenched, there was little Gimmjow could say that wouldn’t dig his grave deeper. He said nothing and carried on in silence. 

The door to Szayel’s lab was open and the man was writing on a chalkboard, clipboard in his other hand propped up against his side. Scattered machinery littered the room, all of it fueled by aether in one form or another. Everything was made from either bronze or copper, giving the room a warmer feel than it really deserved. On the far wall were various dials and tubes, branching out into the ceiling like unruly vines, supplying the manor with power.

“Do you ever sleep?” Grimmjow groused, announcing his presence the only way he knew how.

Szayel didn’t turn, annoyance putting emphasis on every word spoken. “Do you know how rare it is that I am left alone?”

Grimmjow ignored him. “You can heal things, right?”

“If I’m compelled to,” Szayel said slowly. He stopped mid-stroke in realization and turned, eyes suddenly bright. “Is this about the merman? Rumor has it you killed it.”

“I didn’t kill it,” Grimmjow snapped, “But…” he fidgeted. “He isn’t healing as he should.”

“So this is an unofficial visit?” He chuckled. “Why should I help you? What can  _ you _ offer me?”

Grimmjow growled, “I dunno, what do perverts want?”

Szayel smirked and set the clipboard down. “Now, now,” he chided, “that’s hardly the way to garner my assistance.”

Grinding his teeth, Grimmjow knew he was being toyed with, the man knew what he wanted the second he realized why he was there. “So what do you want, asshole?”

Szayel shrugged as if he didn’t already know the answer, “If I can’t dissect the whole thing, some samples will suffice.”

That seemed a fair enough trade if he was telling the truth, and he didn’t have time to bargain. Grimmjow added, “As long as you don’t take any fingers or limbs. Now get your shit and let’s go.”

“So impatient,” Szayel chided. He whined, but he gathered what he needed in a crossbody bag, eyes flickering to Ulquiorra. “What’s with the escort?”

“Insurance,” Ulquiorra offered.

It was Szayel’s turn to be annoyed. “As if a dying fish could kill me.”

“You are more valuable than a fish,” Ulquiorra stated simply.

“I’m flattered,” Szayel muttered. He adjusted his glasses and left the room, the three of them heading back to the tank in silence. Neither liked the other, but it was only tense silence on Szayel and Grimmjow’s part. 

Grimmjow was nervous enough that he started to sweat. It was one thing to deal with Szayel, but Ulquiorra? He might find it more prudent to kill Kurosaki. Then what would he do? The creep ranked above him for a reason, he didn’t think he could win.

His quiet panic made the trip back go even faster, his heart racing now that his boots were once again on the metal grate above the tank.

Szayel clipped a light to the railing and sent his aether into it in a shower of pink sparks. Light reflected off of dripping wet bars and a rippling surface, obscuring everything beneath and ruining his night vision. He’d complain, but he was nervous enough that the moment passed him by. 

Setting his things out on a small table, Szayel said, “Get it out of the tank, I can’t do anything with it out of reach.”

Grimmjow muttered, “Easier said than done.” He knew the merman was below the surface, aware of what was happening, but he’d made no sign of showing himself. Among groups, he seemed almost shy. Then again, he’d be cautious and timid if he was that weak too.

Looking over his shoulder, Grimmjow noted that Ulquiorra stood out of the way; a judgemental, watchful statue. 

Crouching near the door in the grate, Grimmjow took care of the lock and swung the door open. It rattled on the metal, his rubber soles squeaking. He slapped the surface of the water. “Hey! Fish.” 

_ ‘Who are the others?’  _

Grimmjow could nearly hear the trepidation in his voice. The merman was afraid, and to be honest, he had good reason to be. 

“Come ‘ere, can’t fix you if you’re at the bottom of a lake.” He had to censor what he said in front of Ulquiorra, he needed to be careful in answering questions. 

“What sense is there in speaking to it?” Szayel drawled.

“He’s not stupid,” Grimmjow snapped. Glaring at the water, Grimmjow mentally pleaded, ‘please surface, you stupid fish, please.’

Minutes passed, and Szayel sighed dramatically. “I’m not going to wait around all night.”

Shit. He couldn’t go one day without being sopping wet. Grimmjow straightened and started to pull off his boots. 

“You’re not going in, are you?” Ulquiorra warned.

“Well standing up here sure as shit isn’t working.” Shirking off his shirt and coat, he asked, “You wanna go instead?”

Ulquiorra said nothing.

Grimmjow leaned over the opening, frowning at swirling shadows. He couldn’t see shit with that light blazing behind him. Wherever Kurosaki was, he wasn’t going to be able to see until he was below the surface. He stepped out over the opening and jumped in before he discovered common sense. 

Bubbles exploded around him, sliding over his skin like a thousand reassuring hands. His muscles seized up from the cold, his heart racing. That fuckin water always felt colder than he remembered, it shocked his system and every instinct screamed at him to leave.

He looked around at swaying kelp, eyes stinging, and saw nothing. He felt a hand on his leg and he damn near jumped out of his skin. He yelped, bubbles filling his vision, and twisted. He found himself face to face with Kurosaki. 

The merman somehow looked worse, the fear in his eyes stopping Grimmjow short. He reached for him, and Kurosaki didn’t run, he let him touch. Grimmjow pleaded with his eyes, asking for trust he wasn’t sure he’d earned. Kurosaki was afraid, that much was certain. He might be intelligent, but he was still a hurt animal, driven into a corner, and he was asking a lot.

The merman leaned into his touch, only just, then pushed him towards the surface for air. Grimmjow didn’t have much choice than to oblige, bursting from the surface with a gasp. He swiped a hand over his face and shook his hair of seawater, treading water. That spined fin broke the surface, circling him, at arm's reach. 

_ Okay, here we go. _

He clambered from the opening, pulling himself onto the grate with little to no grace and leaned over the opening. He looked back at Szayel. “Get ready to help me, if you want your precious samples.”

“I am  _ not _ getting wet,” Szayel protested.

Grimmjow gave him a flat look, squinting under the aether-made light. “You sure are. This fucker weighs about as much as two sopping wet tigers. I’m pretty strong, but I’m gonna need a hand.”

Szayel’s frown was poisonous, but his motivation for his goal seemed to be stronger than his distaste for Grimmjow or mussing his appearance. He took off his glasses, folding them neatly and placing them with his things, and rolled up his sleeves. “Well, carry on then.”

Grimmjow splashed the surface with his fingers, urging the merman to move where he needed him. Kurosaki turned in a circle and breached the surface where he’d asked, but his eyes were locked on Szayel. “Give me your hand, come on.”

Kurosaki was slow to reach up, having second thoughts about beaching himself. This needed a delicate hand, but Grimmjow just wasn’t that person. 

He clasped Kurosaki’s forearm and hauled back, feet slipping on the grate. Kurosaki flicked his tail, helping him haul most of his body free from the water. Grimmjow shifted his grip to beneath his arms, dragging him back. Szayel actually got in there, wrapping his arms around his lower tail in a bear hug to help. It took a lot of heaving, but they got all of him on the grate. All 12 or so feet of him. 

He was much longer than Grimmjow realized, his tail pure flexing muscle. His fins were splayed, poisonous looking barbs flared in defense. The merman slapped his tail and Szayel jumped back in surprise, chest heaving. The scientist lost more breath than Grimmjow had, but this must have been his first time seeing him at all, because what had been casual interest twisted into full-tilt fascination. 

The scientist reached for his side, smoothing his hand over a smooth, scaleless tail. Muscles flexed, and Kurosaki hissed that loud, crocodilian sound. Szayel either didn’t notice or care, because his hand didn’t move. 

Grimmjow was crouched by his head, whispering, “Don’t kill him, he’s gonna heal you.”

_ ‘I don’t want him to touch.’ _

The clawing panic in Kurosaki’s voice tightened his chest with helplessness. “I know.” He pulled his hair from his back, keeping it from the deep cut on his back. Kurosaki’s muscles fluttered in pain, the gills on his back and sides flared as he struggled to breathe. 

Szayel finally pulled away, grabbed what he needed, and was back by his side in a heartbeat, prodding the edges of the wound with his fingers. “Hnnn, this is deep, and I don’t know its anatomy. There’s only so much I can do.” He pushed aside Kurosaki’s hair, revealing the collar and looked back at Ulquiorra. “This needs to go.”

“I cannot do that.”

Szayel sneered, “Don’t tell me an Espada doesn’t think he can subdue a dying fish.”

“I wasn’t aware you cared,” Ulquiorra said.

“This specimen is more valuable to me alive than dead.” Szayel demanded, “Remove the collar.”

Ulquiorra seemed surprised by the harshness of his tone. Not many had the balls to talk to him like that, and not many lived to brag about it. Grimmjow couldn’t help but feel lucky. Whatever Szayel saw in the merman was enough to fight to keep him. For the moment, it was what he needed.

Kurosaki’s tail slapped the grate again, entire body writhing as he fought for air. Szayel gripped Grimmjow’s bicep and shoved, “Get a bucket, start pouring it over the gills. If it can breathe it’ll stay still.” 

Feeling stupid for overlooking something so obvious, Grimmjow stood and rushed for the supply chest, throwing open the lid to dig for a bucket. He found an iron pail and hurried back to fill it. 

“ _ Now _ , Ulquiorra. It can go back on when it has a chance to heal itself.”

The Espada made an irritated sound, but started towards the pair. “Lord Aizen will not be pleased.”

“If he finds out, I’ll take the punishment,” Szayel growled, “Now take it off.” He straddled Kurosaki’s back and took a moment to meet Ulquiorra’s eyes. “This  _ fish _ will be more useful than lord Aizen anticipated.”

Grimmjow didn’t like the sound of that. He crouched by Kurosaki’s head again, the merman trembling in discomfort, and started to pour water over his splayed gills. Red looking feathers were exposed beneath the symmetrical gashes on his back and sides. It was a little gross to see lungs where there should be no lungs, but something had to be different for this thing to survive underwater. It was like looking at a shark, one fueled by magic no less. 

Szayel was busy at work weaving his own aether into the wound as the merman’s tail slapped the grate, hands tight on the bars beneath him as he braced for the pain.

Ulquiorra crouched near his neck and the merman  _ did not  _ like that. Pupils blown wide in fear, he bared his teeth in a rumbling snarl, the sound shaking the air itself. Ulquiorra ordered, “Hold it still.”

Grimmjow wasn’t thrilled to hear that, wrapping his arms around his head. Kurosaki bit him and he swore, rows of jagged teeth sinking down to the bone on his forearm. At least it kept him in one place. He got a handful of golden hair in his hand and held on, teeth clenched. “Go quick, before he takes my arm off.”

Without sparing an answer, Ulquiorra reached for the collar, pulling loose strands of hair from the lock so he could gain access. Green aether laced through his veins and into the lock, a spiderweb of power flaring through the metal. Well that explained why he couldn’t find a fucking key. Of course it would be tied to aether, he felt like an idiot wasting time looking for something that didn’t exist. 

It fell to the grate with a heavy thud, and Kurosaki’s jaws unclenched with a full-body sigh. Grimmjow stared in awe as red lines of power raced beneath the merman’s skin, like blood rushing into a dead limb. 

The merman slowly withdrew his teeth, shooting him an apologetic look. Szayel reminded him, “Water, Grimmjow.”

“Right.” He shot to his feet, grabbing the bucket with his uninjured arm and returned with more water. Szayel was struggling to keep the bucking merman still, but it seemed like Kurosaki was running out of steam. Grimmjow noticed his arm was sheeting blood, but he was healing. Whatever venom Kurosaki possessed, thankfully didn’t extend to those teeth. 

Slowly dumping water over the merman’s gills, Szayel kept concentrating and working, small, nearly imperceptible lines of aether sinking into the wound. Everytime he dumped water on his gills, Szayel would hold his breath and pause, then continue working.

Between buckets of water, Grimmjow dressed himself, not eager to be barefoot and shirtless on a freezing spring night.

By the fifth bucket, Kurosaki was exhausted, and he barely moved at all. If his gills weren’t working, he might have been more concerned. “He’s gonna live?”

Szayel wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and said, “Yes, it’ll live.”

“He isn’t moving,” Grimmjow noted.

“It’s just tired, all its energy is getting dumped into healing. You just had to stab him right in the important bits. I’m not a doctor, I’m a scientist. You should be grateful I can help at all.”

Kurosaki made a rumbling sound not unlike laughter, but didn’t otherwise move. Now that Szayel mentioned it, his color had improved, he no longer looked like death warmed over.

Grimmjow threw his next bucket over his dried tail, drawing the gold flecks along his tail to sparkle under the moonlight. He sure was a pretty thing, for being so dangerous. Ulquiorra asked, “How long before the collar can be replaced?”

Stomach sinking, Grimmjow looked to Szayel. The Espada made an annoyed sound and spoke while he worked, “An hour or so, maybe more, maybe less. I’ve never dealt with a creature like this before.” Szayel seemed to finish what he was doing, as his hands began to wander over his gills. The merman flinched and hissed in warning, pinning Szayel with a look of pure venom. “How did you convince him to come out?” Szayel asked.

“I told you, he’s not stupid, he knew he needed help.”

“Hnn,” Szayel rumbled thoughtfully, he stood up from where he straddled the merman and crouched near his fins. They splayed dangerously when he poked a barb, accompanied by a threatening growl. “Poisonous,” Szayel muttered. “Interesting.” 

Grimmjow desperately wished Ulquiorra would leave. He wasn’t so sure he could subdue him, but this might his only chance to get the fucking collar off, and Kurosaki was weaker than a kitten and beached. He could only hope Kurosaki trusted him, because none of this was going to work otherwise.

“Get your samples already,” Grimmjow snapped, “I’m not helping you if he poisons you.”

Szayel snorted, but got up for his bag, only to return with a glass slide and a syringe. He jammed it into Kurosaki’s side, and Grimmjow didn’t think the merman even noticed. Szayel got his blood slide and collected poison from those barbs, next he carefully took a long, shimmering hair and even seemed to collect some aether in a vial. Grimmjow wasn’t even sure how he managed to extract it.

Throughout all this, Kurosaki’s eyes wandered between the three of them, and Grimmjow was occupied dumping water over his gills. He wasn’t sure, but he thought Kurosaki was watching him for cues. He didn’t think the merman would have so easily allowed Szayel to touch him at all if he wasn’t there, and he wasn’t sure how he knew that. 

Szayel’s hands wandered over his side and Kurosaki slapped his tail, less than thrilled about being touched. “Hey!” Grimmjow called. “You got your samples, hands to yourself.”

Szayel scoffed and said, “I think he’s still growing.”

“What do you mean?” Grimmjow asked.

“I’m not  _ petting _ the pretty merman,” Szayel mocked, “I’m sensing bone density and growth.”

“You can do that?”

“I’m going to ignore that. Assuming his species is even remotely like other marine life, I’m guessing he’s about 19 years old, and judging from his growth plates, he’s still growing.”

From the surprise on Kurosaki’s face, Szayel guessed right. 

“Why does that matter?” Ulquiorra asked.

Szayel gave him a look. “He needs an aether suppressor and he isn’t even fully mature, imagine how strong he’ll be in 5 years.”

“Again, why does that matter? I see only a threat.”

“I can think of more than one use for an aether generator, can’t you?”

Panic flashed over Kurosaki’s face and he raised his tail to hit Szayel. Unfortunately, he was landlocked and slow, and Szayel moved out of the way before he could get knocked back. Szayel scoffed, “Seems he  _ can _ understand.” To Ulquiorra he tested, “If you want to hide this from lord Aizen, I won’t stop you.”

Grimmjow didn’t like being caught in the middle, but he’d made a mess he was running out of time to solve. Ulquiorra’s attention was on Szayel, if he was going to act, it needed to be now. 

He gave Kurosaki’s hair a sharp tug, giving him fair warning, and then shot forward, hitting Ulquiorra in the chest with a teleporter. It stuck to him like it was supposed to and sparked, activating. Ulquiorra’s eyes widened in shock, likely at the audacity of someone defying him at all. In a shower of blue aether, Ulquiorra was gone, and Szayel was lunging for a weapon. 

Grimmjow whirled, dagger suddenly in hand, and had the steel to Szayel’s throat before he could reach his bag. 

Szayel froze, steel cold biting into his throat, and spoke calmly. “That was stupid, Jaegerjaquez.”

“Probably,” Grimmjow agreed. “Yeah.” He took a couple of steps back, urging Szayel to do the same. It was then that he noticed he was bleeding from more than a bite wound. Ulquiorra must have hit him before he got sent away. Fucker. 

“Fish! You said you just needed to be out of the water and be rid of the collar. Now what?”

_ ‘Now you let me die.’ _

Grimmjow looked at him, thinking he heard wrong. “What?!”

_ ‘I trusted you, now you need to trust me. Don’t give me water, leave me alone.’ _

Szayel asked, “How is he communicating with you?”

Grimmjow pressed the knife deep enough to draw blood. “Shut up.”

“I’m not very interested in stopping you. I merely wish to observe.”

“Naaahhh,” Grimmjow said, “I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you.” By then he’d backed them up as far as he could, grabbing a rope from a nearby pile. Szayel could have fought back, but his eyes were on Kurosaki, less interested in escape than he was in watching. Maybe he wasn’t lying, but Grimmjow couldn’t afford to take that chance. 

Holding the knife in his teeth to free up his hands, Grimmjow tied Szayel’s arms to his sides, then cautiously began to tie him to the stair railing. 

Szayel asked, “Where did you send him?”

“I ain’t tellin you that.”

Szayel guessed. “Ninnue, then. I can’t imagine Aizen needs you anywhere else.” Grimmjow grit his teeth, tying off the knot with an angry jerk. “Not much of a head start, Grimmjow.”

By the time Grimmjow returned to Kurosaki, his sides were heaving, gills splayed. His tail thrashed, slapping the grill covering the tank. He wasn’t too far from the opening, but he made no effort to go to it. Moments crawled on, and Grimmjow started to anxiously pace, watching him struggle for air. 

Szayel said, “What are you doing? He’s going to suffocate.”

“I know!” Grimmjow snarled. “I know.”

Szayel’s eyes were narrowed, thoughtful. “After all that effort to keep him alive?”

Grimmjow scowled at him and then ignored him, focusing on Kurosaki. It was hard to watch, if only because he knew he could end that suffering with a rough push.

More minutes passed, and his struggles slowed to minute twitches, gills working to no avail. Grimmjow stopped pacing, hands clenched into fists, and considered shoving him in the water anyways. His words still echoed in his head.  _ Trust me.  _

He hadn’t sounded suicidal, only desperate. 

Trust was a hard thing to give, but it was only fair after the merman had trusted him so far. 

So he watched him die.

And it felt wretched.

The merman went still,  _ Grimmjow heard his heart stop _ . To watch something...some _ one _ die, that he was responsible for, felt twisted and wrong.

He counted the seconds, heart pounding in his ears, fearful he’d made a mistake, that whatever this merman was trying to do, he was too weak for.

Kurosaki suddenly arched, red lines of aether swarming over his skin. He screeched in pain and thrashed, the sound making him shiver. For as silent as he’d been before, the sound he made now made Grimmjow long to put him out of his misery. Muscles seizing, Kurosaki’s screams seemed to become less animal, and more human.

Grimmjow finally realized why. In that sea of agony, the merman  _ changed _ ; His tail split, fins falling away into red aether, fading away like surf, and Grimmjow saw he had legs where he once had a tail. Kurosaki curled onto his side, trembling, and Grimmjow saw his gills had disappeared, replaced by lungs as he gasped for air.

He’d nearly forgotten Szayel was there until he spoke. “How is that possible?” Grimmjow didn’t have an answer, and he hoped for Kurosaki’s sake Szayel never got one. 

With screams like that, he had to have woken up the entire block, and it was only a matter of moments before he would have to face the entirely of the mansion’s defenses, along with half of the Espada.

He crouched by him and reached for a shoulder. Kurosaki flinched, curling into himself with his arms around his middle and his knees drawn up into his chest. He felt the need to be gentle, this version of Kurosaki seemed almost fragile. That might not be true in reality, but at the moment it was. He couldn’t imagine dying and then suffering an agonizing transformation left him with a lot of energy. 

Slowly brushing his fingers over his upper arm, he soothed, “It’s just me. I’ve gotta pick you up, we need to go.”

The now human-like merman barely responded, taking slow, shaky breaths. Grimmjow kneeled, getting an arm under his legs and behind his shoulders. He was still heavy.  _ Very heavy _ . He shouldn’t weigh more than 140 from the look of him, but he felt way heavier. He was like he was denser than a human, and from the fascinated way Szayel watched him struggle to stand, he noticed. 

The merman clung to him, and Grimmjow realized he wasn’t fully human. His ears were still pointed, and his eyes still held that glimmer of unnatural, golden light. He readjusted his grip, and Kurosaki grunted in discomfort, taloned hands tightening in his shirt. 

An alarm rang out from inside the mansion, and Grimmjow swore. He shouldered past Szayel, and the Espada called out, tone mocking, “Good luck, Jaegerjaquez.”

He really was going to need it. He didn’t know how he was going to get a naked man across the city and onto a boat without being caught, but he could try. It would go better if Kurosaki could walk on his own, but that was nothing but wishful thinking. 

He carried him across the lawn, boots squelching in dew-laden grass as he trotted to the street. Kurosaki looked like he was struggling to stay conscious, and by the time they reached the street, he was completely gone. 

A man he didn’t recognize stopped him near the edge of the property, “Hey! Stop!”

Grimmjow did, turning and snarling, “You’d better have a good reason,  _ numeros _ .”

The man paled, hand on his sword, and looked uncertain. Luckily it seemed nobody knew  _ why _ there was an alarm, just that something was wrong. He stuttered, “T-the grounds are locked down, you can’t-you can’t-”

“ _ Can’t leave? _ ” Grimmjow laughed, making sure it was full of all of the derision and arrogance he could muster. He didn’t have to try that hard. “You think that applies to  _ Espada _ ?” He turned away, and didn’t look back, hoping his luck held firm.

Fear or uncertainty kept the man from trying again, Grimmjow heard his boots on the grass carry him to the path and away. Good riddance.

  
  
  


Grimmjow hailed a carriage, and luckily for him, the sword at his hip and his Espada status kept the man from asking any questions. Might as well enjoy that privilege while he could, because by morning, it would be gone.

In the lonely dark of the cabin, Grimmjow finally got a good look at the merman. His eyelids were brushed with gold, just two steps away from being unnaturally beautiful. There was an ugly, yet healing bruise on his throat from where the collar lay, deep purples staining his skin. Grimmjow knew it must have been uncomfortable, but seeing the proof made his stomach clench in sympathy. 

Curiously peeling his upper lip back, he saw his teeth were still dagger sharp. His fingertips were still black and talon like, and his skin was flawless and smooth, almost like a child. Giving him a glance downstairs, those bits were now very human, and curiously hairless like the rest of him.

He had at least 2 more hours before Ulquiorra got his hands on another teleporter, and then he was going to be in deep shit if he didn’t have a plan.

This merman had better be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tricked you uvu sorry. Fishie will be fishie again soon ~


	4. Legs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo wears pants.

\--- xxx ---

**Kurosaki Ichigo**

Waking to the cold and the sudden realization he wasn’t in water was a shock. He flailed, kicking what should be a tail, and hit something hard. The ground. And it was very much  _ not water _ . 

He lurched up, tripped on his own legs, and fell flat on his face. OW.

“Oi! Relax!”

He clamped his hand on is nose with a hiss, rolling to his side to see who spoke. The blue-haired man was there. Grimmjow. Ichigo glanced at his surroundings, noted they were strange, but he wasn’t in danger, and looked down at his tail...legs, in something close to panic.

“Relax fish, relax.” He was talking to him like he was a child, which was annoying, but it was also somewhat soothing. All of this was new to him, he wanted to go slow, slower than all this, pride be damned.

All of his kind knew the legend, but he didn’t know any with reason and purpose to die on land and  _ try it. _ He’d been motivated. He’d heard tales of men torturing merpeople that way, and it was a closely guarded secret, even among their kind. He never thought he’d be in a position to take that risk.  _ Look at me now _ , he thought sarcastically.  _ I’m a legend. _

“Hey, can you talk?”

He scowled up at the man and made a sound like a warbling growl. 

“Guess that’s a no.”

Grimmjow looked exhausted, eyes red and puffy from lack of sleep, and hair mussed and sticking every which way. Ichigo’s eyes watered from smashing his nose, but there was no blood, so he gingerly let it be and looked around. He was in a room with some scattered furniture, fabric covering an open window, and a bed; the bed he’d likely fallen out of. 

He reached for it, fisting his hand in sheets, and used it as leverage to get his new legs under him. Grimmjow snorted, “Like a newborn colt.”

Ichigo didn’t know what that was, but he sensed insult and reason to blush. He bit his lip and sat on the edge, grabbing Grimmjow by the shirt. He dragged him down to eye level, and that’s when Grimmjow sensed the need to blush. “He-hey, you can’t just kiss me out of nowhere.”

Ichigo bared his teeth in a hiss, unwilling to give up that lie so soon, especially now. He needed to speak, he needed to give and get answers. 

He tugged a little harder and Grimmjow resisted, reaching for his wrist. “Give me a minute.”

Waiting patiently, Ichigo saw no other choice than to study him. He looked better when he wasn’t sopping wet, he decided. He didn’t look like a drowned cat this way. It was a shame that his clothes didn’t cling to him anymore, but it was clearly a warm day, and his shirt was nearly completely unbuttoned, so at least he got a good view of his chest.

Come to think of it, this was the first time he’d seen him in daylight. He reached for his face, and his wrist slipped from Grimmjow’s lax fingers, taking that to be permission. He grabbed his chin and turned his face, studying that clawlike scar until Grimmjow tired of that and jerked his chin away. 

Ichigo frowned, goal taken from him, and found Grimmjow’s hand on his chest, pressuring him to lie down. For a moment he resisted, but it seemed this was the only way to get what he wanted, so with a deeper frown, he gave in. His back hit a soft mattress, Grimmjow’s arms pillars caging him in on either side of his head. 

The man looked down at him with such intensity between dark lashes. He felt vulnerable, so he hummed deep in his chest. Instinct told him if he was wanted, he wouldn’t be hurt, he would be safe. 

Grimmjow’s expression softened and he asked, “What’s that sound?” 

Lips twisting into a grimace, Ichigo gave him an impatient look.

“Kiss...right.” He licked his lips and leaned in, hesitating when he got close. He seemed afraid, and while Ichigo wasn’t sure why, he was too. It didn’t feel like a choice made for survival anymore. Grimmjow threw away his position, his reputation, and his life, for  _ him _ . No siren’s song was so powerful. This was all for him. 

Using that pull now felt...wrong. So he wouldn’t. That hum died in his chest, strangled out of him by the reality of where he was.

The man leaned down even closer, so his breath gusted over his lips, and he gently kissed him, shockingly timid, for as brash as he could be. His lips were blazing against his own, so different from the times he’d been cold and slippery with seawater. They parted on their own, and Ichigo deepened their kiss, hands raking through his hair to tighten, pulling himself up off the bed. He sent his aether into him like before, but this time all of it was at his beck and call, and he sent a lot. 

Grimmjow made a startled sound, trying to pull back, but Ichigo wasn’t done. His teeth nipped his lower lip and his aether sank deep, satisfed he wouldn’t need to do that again for hours. He leaned back, licking Grimmjow’s cut lip, but the courtesy went ignored. Grimmjow’s hand was suddenly around his throat, uncomfortably tight. 

“That was different.” Grimmjow demanded, “What did you do?”

Ichigo tried not to be scared, it rankled his pride to feel so vulnerable, but he knew he didn’t hide it well. He grabbed his wrist in his hands and said,  _ ‘Don’t crush my aether, and I’ll be able to speak to you for hours. You didn’t seem keen on a kiss in the first place, now it will happen less.’ _

Grimmjow let him go more roughly than he needed to, and Ichigo threw his hands back to catch himself. Grimmjow was bright red, the color traveling from his ears to his chest, and he abruptly stood up and went to the window. 

Ichigo wasn’t sure what to say, he seemed so upset. _ ‘Thank you.’ _

“For what,” Grimmjow growled, eyes trained on the world outside.

_ ‘You saved my life.’ _

“It ain’t saved yet, I can’t accept that.”

Ichigo reached for his neck, still unused to finding it bare, and said,  _ ‘I won’t die in a cage. I really didn’t think I’d get out. Thank you.’ _

The man looked at him strangely and asked, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Ichigo’s own hand flinched back from his throat. ‘ _ No. Just feels strange now that the collar is gone.’ _

The man clutched the sword at his hip and hummed thoughtfully. He turned away from the window and rearranged the chair that stood near the bed. 

_ ‘You didn’t sleep in that, did you?’ _

“Sure did,” he said in mock cheer. “You needed the bed, you were in bad shape.” He spun the chair so the back faced the bed and he straddled it, folding his arms over the back. “I need some answers.”

_ ‘Okay.’ _

“How far do I need to take you?”

Ichigo worried his lip in thought. He asked, _ ‘How far away is the ocean?’ _

“Depends. If they’re looking for us, probably a week.” He narrowed his eyes. “Is the pier really enough? I find it hard to believe I could just dump you in the ocean and you’d be fine. The ocean is a big place. It’s not like I’d be home if you dumped my ass on a mountainside 200 miles from here.”

The man wasn’t stupid, that was certain. _ ‘I’ll take what I can get.’ _

“Humor me.”

Ichigo tapped his temple and said, _ ‘I can sense home, but I couldn’t tell you how far or what it’s called, not in any way you would understand. I can’t possibly ask you to make that trip. Just get me to the ocean.’ _

The man didn’t seem sold on the idea, but he moved on from it. “Okay, what do you eat, how much do you need? Any more surprises I should know about?”

Ichigo smirked, “You were feeding me, weren’t you?”

“But I never asked.”

Ichigo flushed, not expecting him to give a shit.  _ ‘Fish, squid, mussels, anything fresh I can eat, but those are what’s best.’ _

“How much?”

_ ‘Normally? Lots, but I think in this body I can manage on less.’  _ He fidgeted. _ ‘Speaking of…’ _

Grimmjow sighed, “Get it out now.”

_ ‘I can’t stay like this indefinitely, I can already feel the pull. Three days from now I need water. Any longer than that and I think...it wouldn’t be pleasant.’ _

“ _ Need water _ ,” Grimmjow repeated gruffly. “Be specific. I can’t take care of you if I don’t know.”

Ichigo folded his legs, wrapping his arms around them as if to reassure himself they were his. ‘ _ You’ll need to drown me. But if it’s anything like this, I don’t think I could survive another change for a while.’ _

Grimmjow frowned at him, and after a few moments he sighed and said, “I suppose I should just be happy you can grow legs at all. I have no idea how I would have done this otherwise.” He started to bounce his knee rapidly, a restless tic. “That changes plans...can you swim in freshwater?”

Recalling the few rivers he’d encountered, Ichigo answered,  _ ‘I don’t know if I could live there, but I’ll adapt.’ _

“Hmm.” Grimmjow’s eyes turned from the room back to him and he blushed again. “First things first, you need clothes.” He gave him a once over. “And they’re going to be looking for hair like that, it isn’t exactly common.”

_ ‘What about yours!’ _

Grimmjow laughed. “Everyone here knows me, hair color or not. Hiding is gonna be hard.” He stood from the chair and said, “Stay put, I’ll be back.”

Ichigo watched his back, the way thin, white fabric pulled over strong muscles, and stared at the closed door when he left. He could put on a brave face, but he was afraid. He lifted his hand and saw how it shook. Not all of that was exhaustion. 

He saw the way that scientist looked at him, he’d wanted to take him apart. If he was captured, it would be worse than death.

Shivering at the memory, Ichigo reached for his shoulder, running his fingers over that new smooth scar. He could still feel that stranger’s aether in his wound, holding him together as he healed. His shoulder was tight, but it no longer hurt. If he was ever caught, his life would be hell. That man knew his secret.

Ichigo jumped when the door opened again. It wasn’t only Grimmjow, but a green-haired woman, a scar crossing from one cheek to the other. She peeked her head around the corner and offered a little wave. Ichigo’s first instinct was to run, which wasn’t an option currently, and his second was to defend himself. He bared his teeth in a hiss, not too happy to find more people were learning his secrets.

She hesitantly stepped inside, armfuls of clothes held to her chest. Her tone was motherly. “Oh, he doesn’t like me much, does he?”

Grimmjow shrugged. “He’s just scared, don’t take it personally.” He looked to Ichigo and said, “She’s a friend, don’t bite her.”

Ichigo gathered up his limbs and squished himself into the corner with his back to the wall _. ‘I don’t want her to touch me.’ _

“She won’t.”

The woman looked at Grimmjow quizzically and he explained, “He doesn’t like to be touched.”

She gave Ichigo a pitying look and smiled. “I imagine not.” 

She moved around the room to sit at the end of the bed farthest from him and laid the clothes over her lap. She pretended not to notice his distrust and lifted up a shirt. “You’re smaller than I thought you’d be. Pesche’s clothes might fit you best, I might have a cloak of my own you can borrow.” 

She handed him a white shirt that looked similar to Grimmjow’s and a pair of black pants. “What do you think?”

He reached for the clothes, running his fingers over them. Beggers couldn’t choose, but it was nice of her to ask his opinion. He unfolded the shirt and squirmed into it. It was a little itchy, but it seemed to fit. He offered her a little nod and a stiff smile and she beamed. He wasn’t there to make friends, but it had been such a long time since he’d been around someone nice. Grimmjow was...Grimmjow.

“I’ll find some boots and a traveling cloak, he can help you with the pants.” She gave him a little wink and he blushed, watching her leave with wide eyes. She wasn’t so bad.

Grimmjow took her place on the bed, grumbling, “Sure did take to her quick.”

Ichigo smiled lazily.  _ ‘Jealous?’ _

“What?!” He blew him off. “Careful flashing those teeth, they’re pretty sharky.” He beckoned him from the corner. “Now come here so I can dress you.”

Ichigo snatched the pants off the bed and hissed, _ ‘I can do it!’ _

“Really.” Grimmjow said in disbelief. “Show me.”

Ichigo glowered and shuffled to the edge of the bed. He held up the pants with a frown, sneaking glances at Grimmjow’s pants. He started to sweat. Which way was the front anyway? 

Grimmjow whistled to get his attention and twirled his finger. 

Ichigo spun them around and frowned at them again.

“Undo the buttons.”

What the fuck were buttons? He flushed and tossed them at Grimmjow.  _ ‘Fine, you win.’ _

“It wasn’t a contest,” he smirked, “But if we’re keeping score…” He shifted closer on the bed, taking the pants and deftly undoing something near the top. Buttons, he could assume. He watched carefully so he could do it himself and not feel like an idiot, but despite how simple a mechanic, he’d never needed them before. 

He flushed from head to toe when Grimmjow scooted even closer, the bed depressing under his weight to draw Ichigo towards him. His bare leg touched his hand, and Ichigo tried not to notice. 

It was more intimate than he expected, and he realized now why humans must wear pants. To hide how embarrassing this thing between his legs must be when it was excited. 

Grimmjow reached around behind him, his forearm brushing his back, His breath on his neck, and laid those pants over his lap, draped over his legs. “Like that. Now stick your feet in and pull em up.” He leaned back, withdrawing his arm, and Ichigo wondered if it would be like this if he was still in the water, or if this very human-feeling vulnerability was poisoning his thoughts. 

Lifting those pants, he doubled over and stuck his feet in, pulling them up to his thighs. They seemed to fit, but to get them all the way on he was going to have to stand up, and he hadn’t thought of that. “Umm.”

Grimmjow let out a breathy laugh that felt far, far away from mocking, and wrapped his arms around his chest. He stood with him, holding up the majority of his weight while he fought to get used to it. Ichigo leaned back against his chest, warm against his back, and reminded himself––pants. He pulled them up, Grimmjow’s hand on his shoulder holding him steady, and fumbled with the buttons for a couple of minutes. 

The man was shockingly patient, helping him keep on his new feet without comment. Ichigo finished with the top button and let out a heavy breath.  _ ‘Got it.’ _

Grimmjow didn’t let him go, standing just behind him, strong arms barring his chest. “Think you can stand on your own?”

_ ‘Maybe?’ _

“Try.”

Grimmjow slowly unfolded his arms and stepped aside. Ichigo wavered, finding gravity to be heavy and wrong. His legs felt sluggish in comparison to a tail. It wasn’t that he felt weaker than he felt less comfortable, less familiar. He took a shaky step, faltered, and Grimmjow’s hand was like iron on his bicep, holding him steady. He sucked in a breath and tried again, finding it to be just a little easier than the first step. A hysterical little laugh escaped him. “Weird.”

“I’d find it pretty weird if I suddenly had a tail.”

Ichigo laughed a little harder. “Don’t have a lot of time to get used to it.”

“I’ve got nothing better to do than help you practice.”

  
  
  


\--- xxx ---

**Grimmjow**

By nightfall, the merman was jumping in place, lunging, anything to learn to keep from tripping over his own feet. He learned eerily fast. To go from his first steps complex footwork in under a day was shocking.

About an hour into practicing he started to get hot and annoyed by his own hair in his face. Grimmjow tied it back for him with a ribbon Neliel brought him since he vehemently declined any suggestion involving cutting his hair.

That white ribbon in his hair was tied in a bow, courtesy of Neliel. It bounced every time Kurosaki did, salt tousled hair swaying back and forth across his back. The afternoon light was cutting through the curtains and outlining his hair like molten gold. He was beautiful, even hopping around like a daft idiot. “How long are you going to keep that up? Anyone downstairs must think I’m getting the best sex of my life.”

Ichigo shot him a glare. ‘Until I’m satisfied I won’t fall on my face in front of a crowd of people.’

“I’ll catch you.”

_ ‘I’m not a girl.’ _

Grimmjow leaned back against the wall. “True. If you were I’d be in for a treat with you bouncing like that.” He got the blush he wanted, and the merman crouched, then sat, and stood, over and over again.

“Don’t wear yourself out too much, fish. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

_ ‘You’re the one that didn’t sleep,’ _ Ichigo countered. 

Grimmjow yawned. “How can I sleep with all this going on?”

Ichigo popped up, a little breathless, and said, ‘Fine. I’ll take a break, and we can take a nap.”

“We?”

_ ‘I’m not a nocturnal fish,’ _ he said, adopting the nickname. ‘ _ Now move over.’ _

Grimmjow raised a brow and shifted on the bed to allow room to share. It wasn’t exactly a large bed, and it put the merman’s back flush to his side. He was warm, maybe a little warmer than he should be due to his antics, but the proximity was nice.

He smelled like the ocean, like sunshine and salt. It wasn’t a bad scent.

Ichigo startled him with a question. _ ‘Why haven’t they come after us? You don’t seem worried.’ _

“It’s complicated, but Aizen doesn’t own this part of the city. It would be stupid to come after you here when he can just cut off our route to the docks.” 

_ ‘You trust them?’ _

“Yeah.” 

Ichigo eased, and that seemed to be enough. The sounds of the street drifted in through the window, the breeze dying as the sun sank below the buildings, and Grimmjow fell asleep. It wasn’t wholly a pleasant sleep, it was full of nightmares and untimely death, pain and sadness. It didn’t last, soon that too faded, and he woke from a pleasant dream to find a hand carding through his hair, a soft song laden in the air. 

It was smooth and soft and inhuman, sinking through his thoughts like silt.

He woke with a gasp, panting hard, and found himself face to face with Kurosaki. The song stopped. 

The merman’s eyes shone with their own light in the dark. Somehow, he seemed more threatening bathed in moonlight. _ ‘You had nightmares,’  _ the merman offered.

Grimmjow swallowed, throat dry. “Yeah, always have.” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around at the darkened room. He’d slept longer than he’d meant to. “What did you do?”

The merman shifted on the bed, looking guilty.  _ ‘I just tried to make you more comfortable.’ _

“That song.”

Ichigo leaned away to stand, but Grimmjow caught his arm, silently asking for an answer. 

_ ‘All of my kind can do it.’ _

“Siren song,” Grimmjow breathed. His grip tightened on his arm until Ichigo winced. “Don’t do it again.”

Ichigo tugged his arm and Grimmjow snarled, “Answer me!”

_ ‘I’m sorry.’ _

“I don’t want an apology. Promise me!”

That the merman hesitated at all made him nervous. How much had he swayed him? Was this even really his choice? Ichigo must have sensed his distress, because he sat back down on the bed, twisting to face him. _ ‘I’ve only sung to you a few times. It isn’t what I’m good at, I can’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do in the first place. The first time was at the party, the second time was when I kissed you the first time, and the last was just now. The first two times were out of fear, but this time...my aether is still inside you, I could sense your fear, I only wanted it to stop.’ _

“So  _ you’d _ feel better,” Grimmjow snarled. He jerked him closer, knocking him off balance. 

Ichigo caught himself on his other arm, head down, that ponytail slipping over his shoulder to pool on the bed.  _ ‘Yes and no. It’s something our kind does for family, for children. I overstepped, and I’m sorry.’ _

Grimmjow’s gut twisted, and his grip loosened. The merman scent reeked of distress, and he’d been the cause of that. He was the asshole, he was  _ always _ the asshole. He expected the worst of people, and when they did good he threw it in their face. He let Kurosaki go, letting out a heavy sigh. 

The merman wasn’t lying, he’d smell that. 

He reached for Kurosaki, lifting his chin. No tears, that was something, at least. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You look human, and you’re not. That’s my mistake.”

Ichigo took that to be an insult, flinching away from his touch. Grimmjow caught him with a hand on his cheek before he could turn away. “Neither am I, Ichigo. Don’t forget that. Your actions are guided by what you are as much as mine.”

Brows furrowed, the merman looked between his eyes and said,  _ ‘Is now a bad time to tell you I don’t need to kiss you to speak with you?’ _

Grimmjow’s eyes widened, slowly making the connection. The second time he used his power against him was the kiss… “So why…”

_ ‘You’d know I lied to you, but also...it was nice. But you should know it isn’t necessary.’  _ He looked away, tensing as if he was expecting to be hurt. 

That baffled Grimmjow for a moment, before he realized it wasn’t unwarranted. He  _ had _ hurt him, he threw him around more than once. That made him feel like dirt, regardless of whether he’d been used or lied to. Could he blame him? He was a survivor, like him. What right did he have to be pissed off about it? 

He moved his hand to hold the back of his head, fingers sliding through the hair slung over his shoulder. He leaned in for a chaste kiss, surprising the merman. He didn’t linger, pulling back to lick his lips. “It is nice.”

Ichigo blinked owlishly at him, more than surprised, he seemed unsure what to do next. Grimmjow squeezed his shoulder and stood from the bed, stretching and rolling his neck. “Thanks to someone, I got some sleep. We should eat and get going.”

_ ‘I didn’t promise,’  _ Ichigo said, confused.

Grimmjow grimaced, feeling embarrassed by words he’d just spoken. “That wasn’t fair. I can’t ask you to ignore your nature.” He couldn’t linger on it, not knowing he’d crushed the spirits of the one person in his life that had ever tried to make him feel better. “Put on your boots.”

_ ‘But I hate them,’  _ he whined.

“That’s too bad. A cobblestone road is a lot more unforgiving than seawater.” He added, “Socks too.” He was more than a little concerned about his feet. They were soft and uncalloused; if he went walking for any period of time he was going to be blistered and limping before Grimmjow was even winded. If he had to carry him, there was going to be an argument, he was sure of it.

He made sure the merman properly dressed himself, then helped him with the cloak, making sure it obscured his ears and hair. It was black with grey trim, nothing fancy, but Ichigo wore it like a prince. He winced. “You’re still too pretty to be common folk, but I don’t know what else we can do.”

_ ‘You’re taller than me, I’ll just stand behind you.’ _

Grimmjow smirked. “Maybe they’ll think you’re my woman.”

Ichigo rolled his eyes, his voice loud in his head as he changed the subject. _ ‘Food! I’m starving.’ _

“Bossy like a woman,” he teased. “I think we gave Pesche more than enough time to work out getting you fed. Come on, try to keep those teeth hidden.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bois are bonding uvu


	5. Campfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo rides a horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Stripy for painful horse facts.

  
  


\--- xxx ---

**Kurosaki Ichigo**

This Pesche indeed followed through. He had as much seafood as he could ask for, and it was much fresher than what he’d had in his glass box. From what he understood, Aizen’s goons were looking to catch and question any new faces that bought a suspicious amount of seafood for a single person. These people were taking huge risks for him; or more likely, for Grimmjow. He hated dragging people into his problems, but there was little he could do to help himself. 

Stealing looks from the window, everything was new and strange and a potential threat. Animals he’d never seen before, customs he’d never heard of, and buildings that seemed they shouldn’t be able to exist. Even walking from the stairs through a less than populated tavern, it’s like they could smell he was an outsider. All eyes turned to him, despite Grimmjow’s glaring. 

It bothered him to be defended like some hapless young girl, but he couldn’t hiss  _ and _ hide his teeth, so what as he left to do, frown at them? Fat lot of good that would do.

He tore at the seafood raw, taking snapping, tearing mouthfuls, and he think he turned everyone but Grimmjow’s stomach. Grimmjow just seemed happy he was pleased and eating. The man left him to speak with Neliel, but from Ichigo’s place in the kitchens he couldn’t eavesdrop. 

According to them, inn patrons weren’t allowed back there, so he was good and hidden while he ate. Pointy teeth were a bit unusual, and enough of a giveaway that they didn’t want to risk it.

Pesche sat across from him at the humble wooden table, although he was half turned away with his covered eye facing him. Ichigo found that more flattering that he would sit with his bad side to him at all, even if it was because he was put off by his eating habits.

He scarfed down another squid and looked up when Pesche spoke. “That man can barely stand anyone, you must really be something.”

Ichigo looked at him, hoping for more. The man shifted so he was sitting with his arm resting on the table and said, “He and Nel are old friends, and the most she’s gotten outta him is a handshake.” Ichigo took down half a fish and Pesche shuddered, deciding it was better to look at the wall. “Aizen’s after you too. I’m sure you have no idea what he did for you, and he sure as hell won’t tell you, so I will.”

Ichigo was listening, Pesche knew he was. Through the cracked kitchen door, Ichigo could see Grimmjow’s back. He wanted to know. Pesche said, “That man clawed and scraped to get into the Espada from nothing. He stepped on friends, and they let him, because they saw his ambition, they knew he could do it. He joined the Espada, even knowing what they did to her.” His eye fell to the wall, as if he could see Neliel through it. “Helping you, he’s throwing it all away. After everything he gave up, you must really be worth it.” 

The blonde turned to look at him with his good eye. “He doesn’t even get to keep you.”

Ichigo wanted to respond, but he had no way outside of Grimmjow. He bared his teeth, defensive, and Pesche waved him off. “Relax, I’m not blaming you. I just want you to know what it cost.” He paled. “And for fucks sake, don’t let him know I told you.”

Ichigo went back to devouring fish, watching Pesche curiously. He seemed like a good person, and it seemed his reasons for telling him stemmed from Neliel. She was helping them both, despite all of her sacrifices being for nothing. So they were both good people. Better than he’d thought. Ichigo could only conclude that if Grimmjow had good friends, he didn’t belong with the Espada, if the rest of them were anything like the other two.

A shudder ran through his shoulders, remembering Szayel’s touch. Gross.

He ate his final fish down to the bones, licking his claws and wiping his face with the towel left for him. He spent nearly as much time cleaning his claws as he did eating. 

Satisfied, he reached for Pesche. The man didn’t notice in time to pull away, and Ichigo dug his claws into his arm. The man panicked for a second, tugging away on reflex, but Ichigo’s expression was calm, and it gave him pause. That connection with his blood was enough to send his aether into, only enough for a few moments at best. 

_ ‘Thank you. I wanted to know.’ _ He withdrew his hand and added, still uncomfortable being fed like a pet.  _ ‘And thank you for the fish. I haven’t had fresh fish in monnnths.’ _

Pesche chuckled. “How many people can say they fed a merman?”

_ ‘Not many live to brag,’ _ Ichigo said bluntly. He smirked. _ ‘I guess you do.’ _

“Grimmjow said not to feel too sorry for you when he dragged you in here.” His eye fell to his teeth. “I see what he means.”

\--- xxx ---

Ichigo griped,  _ ‘I spend hours learning how to walk and you get some beast to carry me.’ _

“It’s a horse,” Grimmjow answered, “be grateful we don't have to walk. And trust me, this is a punishment in and of itself.”

_ ‘How? The horse is doing all the work.’ _

“Don’t let me spoil the surprise,” Grimmjow said dryly.

Ichigo’s attention had already drifted, eyes tracking the light posts on every corner.  _ ‘How do they stay lit?’ _

“Look I ain’t a scientist, but it’s got something to do with man-made aether and electricity. “

Ichigo got quiet, considering that, and asked, ‘Is that what Aizen wanted me for?’

Ichigo could feel Grimmjow’s discomfort at his back. “Probably something like that.”

Ichigo shivered, silently deciding yet again that dying and getting legs was worth it to escape all that.

The horse’s footsteps were fairly loud on the cobblestones, a metallic, ringing, clop clop clop as it carried them down empty streets. The coastal fog had rolled in, making the air chilly and sticky, the glow of the lamp posts nearly tangible. It smelled of the sea and it made his heart ache for home.

The horse walked through the city and away from the coast, Ichigo felt it in his bones. But he trusted Grimmjow, he had no reason not to at that point. 

Perhaps he was a fool and he was walking straight into another hell, but he didn’t think so. He could be willfully naive, but he didn’t think Grimmjow would be grappling with his choices and Ichigo’s comfort if he didn’t legitimately care. 

His chest was warm at his back, Grimmjow’s arms around him clutching the reigns. Not a hug, he was just riding in front, but it was welcome contact. Weeks, months? He no longer remembered. So long without a friendly touch, and he was starved for it. He felt himself slumping against him, until his chest was flush to his back, and Grimmjow let him, making no comment.

They didn’t pass many people, and those they did seemed eager to get to their destination, sparing no thought for the pair riding by them. 

The city streets changed the further they went, the cobblestones replaced by gravel, then dirt, the houses getting smaller and farther apart, until they were on a dark path surrounded by trees. 

A question had been nagging at Ichigo for awhile, and he finally gathered the willpower to ask.  _ ‘What are you? You never told me.’ _

Ichigo felt the growl in Grimmjow’s chest. “You got a better look than most. Is that not enough?”

_ ‘You know all about me, even how old I am. I don’t even know your real name.’ _

Ichigo felt him sigh, all the air leaving his lungs at once. “I don’t know what I am. As far as I know, I’m the only one. Someone called me a werecat once. Don’t know if that’s true.”

Ichigo considered the loneliness he felt when people looked at him , so aware he was different, that he wasn’t one of hem; they didn’t understand him, and it was a chasm nobody had crossed. He couldn’t imagine that loneliness blanketing his entire life.  _ ‘I’m sorry.’ _

“Don’t be, I got over it.”

Ichigo didn’t think that was true, but he wouldn’t press.  _ ‘You said you were different from humans, but I don’t know much about them either.’ _

Grimmjow shifted the reigns in his hand and dodged the question. “I’m adept at hiding when I need to.”

_ ‘You don’t have to hide now.’ _

“I’ve already slipped.”

Ichigo fought to untangle what that meant, brows furrowed. He took it as an insult.  _ ‘You think I don’t understand aggression?’ _

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Grimmjow grit out.

It chipped away at his already shattered pride to think Grimmjow thought he was incapable of defending himself. He clenched his jaw and tried not to take it too personally.  _ ‘I’ve made you bleed more times than I can count and it’s only been a few days. I don’t hold it against you.’ _

Grimmjow snapped. “Why are you so keen that I not hold back?”

_ ‘I don’t believe it’s for my benefit, but yours.’ _

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

_ ‘I’m not fragile,’ _ Ichigo hissed.

“I know you’re not.”

Ichigo scoffed, shoulders tensing. _ ‘Do you?’ _

One of Grimmjow’s hands left the reigns and slid up his chest to his neck, calloused fingers rough on his skin. “You want to know what I’ve been holding back? I smell something I want. I’m not sure if you’re so appealing because you’re strong, or because I know I’ve caught you.” 

Caught. Ichigo felt a mixture of self loathing and excitement jumbled up in his chest at that word. Like he was a prize, like he was wanted...it was a confusing feeling.

Grimmjow claws dug into the soft underside of his jaw and Ichigo swallowed, tilting his head back to escape those claws or submit, he didn’t know. It wasn’t completely frightening, but his instincts still pushed at him to rise to that challenge. Grimmjow murmured, “Pretty like a girl-”

_ ‘I’m not,’ _ Ichigo bristled.

“That’s the best part,” Grimmjow’s words were quiet but firm. The man tugged his hood down so he could reach his throat, fangs nibbling sensitive skin. “You’re a stone’s throw from being my hostage, there’s no way you want this.”

_ ‘What is this, a test? Don’t tell me what I want.’  _ A growl started in Ichigo’s chest, a hand tightening around Grimmjow’s wrist. He couldn’t bring himself to push him away or hold him closer. _ ‘I kissed you didn’t I?’ _

Grimmjow hissed, the sound inhuman. “To hide a lie.”

Ichigo’s heart sank at the reminder.  _ ‘I’m sorry about that.’ _

The man’s hand slipped back down his throat to slide beneath the hem of his shirt. The night air was chilly against his skin, rough hands trailing marks over his chest he couldn’t ignore. “Don’t be.” His hand raked over his skin, leaving burning lines, and Ichigo could safely say it felt good. “Sing for me.”

That was unexpected. Ichigo tried to twist to look back at him, but Grimmjow nipped at his throat. Ichigo said,  _ ‘You told me not to.’ _

“ _ And now I’m asking _ . I wanna know what it feels like.”

Ichigo almost denied him on principle, but his voice was so close to his ear, low and tinged in a growl. Sound carried differently in the air, and it was a sound so distinctly Grimmjow. Every subtle dip and throaty rumble of his voice shivered in the air and across his skin in waves. He didn’t even appear to be trying.

It was harder to say no than to acquiesce, especially when he wanted to do it. A soft hum shook Ichigo’s chest and filled the silence, the water that hung in the air echoing his song. The horse faltered, prancing in place, but hesitantly carried on, snorting, ears flattened.

Grimmjow didn’t move, he just held him and listened, every exhale heating his neck. I was a subtle call, one wrapped up in his aether in a whispering need to have Grimmjow. As far as defense mechanisms went, it really was only useful in his element, where he had miles of ocean beneath him and nothing but the surface standing between him and a victim. 

On land it just created new problems. He was out of his depth on land, and he was calling the attention of a predator in more ways than one.

Grimmjow’s arms wrapped around him a little tighter. “You smell like fear. Why?”

_ ‘I’m not sure what I’m asking for.’ _ he admitted. 

“You already had my attention,“ Grimmjow said. His hand slipped from the open buttons at the top of his shirt and smoothed down over his stomach. Ichigo tensed in a wave, tilting his head to listen. “You can stop. Your song is pretty, but this is nothing I haven’t already felt.”

Ichigo stopped, the sound still ringing around them, and he scoffed.  _ ‘Everyone wants to fuck a mermaid.’ _

Grimmjow chuckled. “Careful with that ego. Wanna know how I’m different?”

_ ‘Tell me all about how your libido is different,’ _ Ichigo snarked.

That laugh shook Grimmjow’s chest, his voice once again rough and low. “Because I know you’re strong, and I know you let me do this. I could fight you to submit and take it, but that isn’t what I want at all.”

‘You want me because I submit?’ Ichigo asked. He sounded a little hurt, as much as he tried to hide it.

“No.” Grimmjow’s voice was firm. “I want you because you don’t have to.” He slid his hand away from his groin and back onto the reigns, and Ichigo couldn’t help but feel disappointed, and a little cold. “It’s a long trip,” the man offered.

So it seemed. Ichigo slumped back against Grimmjow’s chest again, sinking into the warm cradle of his arms. Grimmjow made it very clear what he wanted, but he wasn’t going to push for it. He was a good person, better he thought he was, despite whatever rocky past Pesche shared with him. 

As Grimmjow said, it was a long trip, he had time to think about it.

\--- xxx ---

  
  


Ichigo discovered what that surprise was pretty quick. Even having Grimmjow at his back, his entire body ached, every jolting step that twice damned horse made went straight up his spine. Even the slight friction against his inner thighs from the saddle was starting to burn. It was a slow torture he never would have expected to endure. Not to mention his poor balls, crushed up against hard leather for hours.

It was clear Grimmjow could have kept going–– _ somehow _ , and Ichigo was determined to bite his lip through it, but Grimmjow must have noticed he was at his wit's end and didn’t let him choose. 

Leaving the main road, Grimmjow found a clearing and swung down from the horse with envious ease. He lifted his arms to Ichigo and helped him down, catching him in his arms bridal style. If he wasn’t suffering, he might have complained at the treatment.  _ ‘I’d have rather walked,’ _ he whined.

“Being sore is better than not being able to walk.”

Ichigo growled.  **_‘Sore_ ** _...I feel like I was dragged here. How do you survive tied to the ground like this, the Earth itself hates that you walk about on it. You must have balls of steel.’ _

Grimmjow nearly choked, steamrolling over that. “And how did you manage to swim everywhere?” He carefully set Ichigo down at the base of a tree and said, “Real question. How much did you swim?”

Shifting in vain to try to get comfortable, Ichigo hissed through clenched teeth, deciding it was most comfortable to curl up on his side and take his own weight off his ass.  _ ‘A lot. Miles and miles. Sometimes we’d circle the island, or swim across the depths to shallow waters.’ _

“We?” Grimmjow looked over his shoulder, fussing to tie the horse to the nearest tree.

Ichigo silently begged him not to pursue that line of questioning, and with a small frown on his face, Grimmjow carried on. “I can barely swim for an hour without drowning; I’m not gonna judge the performance of a facade.” He removed the straps and leather on the horse with deft, practiced hands. Ichigo wasn’t even sure what any of it was called, but he liked watching Grimmjow work. 

He tracked his movement around the small campsite, watching clothing twist around his frame while he piled rocks and messed around with sticks. Grimmjow’s aether sparked on the wood and went up in flickers of orange light. Ichigo sat bolt upright. _‘What’s that?’_

Grimmjow gave him a confused, but wholly amused look. “Fire?”

**_‘That’s_ ** _ fire.’ _

“Yeah.”

Ichigo stared with wide eyes, lifting his hand for it.

Grimmjow lunged as if to stop him. “Hey, hey, hey, that’s hot!”

Ichigo’s eyes never left it, mesmerized. He didn’t reach any closer, but he could feel the building heat on his palm.  _ ‘What’s it for?’ _

“Warmth, light, protection.”

‘It’s beautiful.’

“And dangerous,” Grimmjow warned. “Keep your distance.” He kept moving about their little campsite, shooting him ooks beneath mussed blue hair. When Ichigo had seen him the first time it had been styled up and back. Now it was unruly from saltwater and sleep, obscuring his eyes until diamond pupils caught the light of the fire, flashing green in the dark. 

Not human; he kept reminding him, but it was hard to forget. While he felt cumbersome and slow on land, Grimmjow moved with languid purpose, and a powerful grace that betrayed he was something deadly. It irked him to admit it, but it made Ichigo feel safe.

He finally moved to sit beside him and asked, “What’re you lookin’ at?”

_ ‘You.’ _ Grimmjow’s cheeks darkened and he scoffed, leaning up beside him on a tree. Ichigo winced, sitting back against the same tree, and caught Grimmjow staring.  _ ‘Show me again.’ _

“Show you what?”

_ ‘What you are, obviously.’ _

Grimmjow’s brows scrunched together, his expression severe. “No.”

Ichigo frowned back at him, wondering how to voice his thoughts.  _ ‘I haven’t gotten many chances to see you where you belong. You feel like you belong here. I want to see.’  _

“Bossy,” he grumbled. 

Grimmjow still wouldn’t give a real answer, so Ichigo changed his tactics.  _ ‘Why?’ _

Grimmjow’s words tumbled out in an embarrassed jumble. “Because I’m not sure I can keep my hands off you.”

Surprise flickered over Ichigo's face, along with an uncontrollable blush, and he sat up a little straighter.  _ ‘Really?’ _

“That’s a weird response,” Grimmjow muttered.

Ichigo tilted his head.  _ ‘Why?’ _

“I just told you I’ll probably assault you,” he snapped.

Ichigo laughed, the sound tangled up in teeth and a growl.

Grimmjow’s blush flared as quickly as that fire. “Stop laughing!”

He didn’t, rolling onto his back with his arms around his middle. He laughed until tears pulled at his eyes and Grimmjow looked ready to melt from embarrassment. Ichigo reached up, watching him upside down, and brushed his fingers over his leg in reassurance, finally taking pity on him.  _ ‘Bold of you to assume you can take anything from me.’ _

Blue eyes flicked down at him, cautiously forgiving his laughter.

_ ‘Every touch has been a gift, you’ve taken nothing.’ _

“Yer just a kid, what do you know?’

Ichigo rolled over, and helped himself to Grimmjow’s lap.

“Hey!”

‘So stop me,’ he yawned. Grimmjow did nothing to push him away, so he leaned into his chest and used him like a pillow. ‘Much better than a tree.’

“Glad you’re comfortable,” Grimmjow grit. “You’re heavy.”

_ ‘You’re soft,’ _ Ichigo retorted.

“Now I’m insulted,” Grimmjow muttered.

_ ‘‘I meant it,’ _ Ichigo tilted his head back, his breath across Grimmjow’s throat a warning for just how close his teeth were. _ ‘You know it's true, you make me do nothing. You’re nothing like them.’ _

Ichigo turned his head away and didn’t push it, he was too sore to cause problems. He was more than happy with his warm pillow.

Grimmjow wrapped his arms around him, getting comfortable when he realized he wasn’t going to get up. The wood snapped, a shower of sparks floating up to the sky, and the night was quiet. Grimmjow was relaxed, but Ichigo could see he was still alert and listening, worried they were followed. Ichigo was afraid too, terrified that he would be caught and this was the end of the line. 

That kind of fear could be all consuming, so he pushed it aside the best he could, watching licking flames with sleepy fascination.

Grimmjow broke their comfortable silence with a cautious question. “How did they catch you?”

Ichigo’s thoughts ground to a halt. Nobody had asked, nobody had cared, and he had been content to forget. It was like it happened to someone else, in another life. So much had happened, his life felt like a dream he didn’t belong to. He bit back a sob, curling into himself in pain.

His distress spurred on Grimmjow’s own, his arms tightening around his shoulders. “Forget it, it’s fine.”

Ichigo felt the wetness on his lashes, his pulse pounding in his head, and he tasted salt. He bit back his pain, fighting the growing chasm in his heart. He wasn’t ready to deal with what lay beyond that door, it was nothing but agony, but now that it was cracked open, it washed out and consumed him. 

He ordered his thoughts enough to answer, trembling with silent sobs. ‘ _ I had a brother.’ _ He was a brutal killer, but his brother all the same.  _ ‘They gutted him, and I watched him die.’  _ He broke into louder sobs.  _ ‘He took so long to die, and they didn’t even look, they didn’t even care.  _ **_They laughed.’_ **

Grimmjow’s grip on his arms shifted, his hand smoothing over his back, unsure what to do. “You don’t have to talk about this.”

_ ‘Nobody cared. I want someone to know.’ _ Ichigo grit his teeth, claws digging into his shirt.  _ ‘I need someone to know.’ _

“You’re gonna be free, I don’t want a deathbed confession,” Grimmjow growled.

Ichigo wanted to believe that, but the odds were stacked against them, and her ealized he didn’t want to miss his chance.. _ ‘Listen anyway.’ _

Grimmjow fell silent and Ichigo talked before he lost his nerve. ‘My sister was caught in a net in the shallows. Always too curious for her own good; stubborn like me. Shiro helped me cut her loose. She’s small and we’re more noticeable in shallow, clear water. She escaped, but they caught us, aether or not.’

He’d never thought he’d be in a net, they all knew to avoid ships. He never thought it could be so painful, it was like rolling in fire coral.  _ ‘They got us on deck. Strung us up in the sun.’  _ Stifling and blinding and hot. The men around him were just shadowy figures in blinding sunlight. He couldn’t remember their faces. Did he want to?  _ ‘I couldn’t breathe, and Shiro fought– _ **_he wouldn’t stop fighting,_ ** _ he wouldn’t listen.’ _

It’s who he was, he was more of a fighter than he ever was, he’d never submit to anything, or anyone, he’d never go down easy. Ichigo had always known that, but to see it… ‘ _ He killed a human, cut their throat with aether, so they took a harpoon-’  _

He couldn't forget the fight drain out of his eyes, sound of water lapping at the edge of the boat, gulls screaming, laughter, the smell of hot guts. His felt his blood on his hands, it soaked his hair.

He scrambled out of Grimmjow’s arms and fell to his knees at the edge of the clearing, throwing up bile. His chest heaved, tears wet on his face. He’d never cried before. He knew humans cried, but his kind didn’t. They didn’t cry.

Grimmjow tugged his hair from his face and knelt beside him. “Ichigo, please.”

_ ‘They let the birds eat him,’ _ he trembled, hands clasped over the back of his neck.  _ ‘They went for his eyes first.” _

“Ichigo.”

_ ‘How could I let that happen?’ _

“Ichigo!” Grimmjow grip in his hair turned painful, wrenching his head back to see his face. “None of that was your fault.  _ I’m sorry. _ Your brother didn’t die alone, and he didn’t die a coward. He died for  _ you _ . Don’t remember him like that.”

Ichigo flung his arm out, pushing him away, and snarled.  _ ‘What do you know?!’ _

“I wouldn’t know!” Grimmjow shouted, “I don’t remember my family, I don’t even know what I am! But I care about  _ you _ . I’d never be able to remember you like that, it would eat me alive.”

Ichigo’s expression flipped from anger to pain, his will to fight sapped away by loss. Grimmjow pulled him into a hug and let him cry, his voice softening. “I didn’t know.” 

He sobbed into his chest until his head ached and his eyes stung. He was miserable, all of his pain crashing into him at once, but somehow he felt lighter.

His sobs died down into pathetic sniffles, but Grimmjow still hadn’t pushed him away. “You saved your sister, Kurosaki. You’ll see her again.”

Ichigo bit his lip hard, hands tightening along his with heart. _ ‘I miss them so much.’  _

Yuzu’s smile, so much like their mother’s, Karin’s scowl, so much like his own; it all felt so far away.

“You’ll see them again, you’ll see.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sorry, the bois will be happy soon I promise


	6. Understandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo learns something new.

\--- xxx ---

**Grimmjow**

Eventually Kurosaki fell asleep, that painful sobbing collapsing into the fitful sleep of a well-worn traveler. He looked almost innocent, curled up, quietly snoring. Grimmjow shrugged out of his blanket, spreading it over his shoulders to keep him warm. He stamped out the fire, leaving them alone with the wail of a lonely cricket.

He hadn’t given Kurosaki’s origins much thought, despite how hard he was fighting to return him. It was hard to picture someplace he couldn’t imagine. The ocean he knew was turbulent and cold, he couldn’t imagine clear, warm waters hiding mermaids. Not in any capacity that was real.

Kurosaki shifted in his sleep, hair falling into his face. A stray lock got into his mouth, interrupting his snoring. The merman nibbled at it and Grimmjow snorted softly, brushing it away from his face before he gave himself split ends. He hadn’t thought he was hiding so much pain. 

He couldn’t imagine someone killing Kurosaki, only to watch him rot and be eaten. It turned his stomach just thinking about it, he didn’t blame Kurosaki for losing his. 

He hated Aizen, but maybe his takeover had given Kurosaki the revenge he’d never been allowed to seek. 

He sat next to him, arms crossed over his chest, sword on the ground beside him, and drifted in and out of restless sleep. 

He was woken in the early hours of the morning by a snapping stick, and Kurosaki shot him a guilty look.

“Where are you goin?” Grimmjow grumbled.

Kurosaki flushed and shifted from foot to foot.  _ ‘I need to pee.’ _

With as much as he’d cried, Grimmjow was shocked he had anything left in him. “Tsk, go.” Kurosaki carried on, out of sight, but not too far away to worry. He got up, stretching creaking and tight muscles and rubbing the sleep from his face. He did his own business in the opposite direction, yawning and reminding himself which way the road was.

After a few minutes, Kurosaki had returned, boots crunching pine needles while he watched Grimmjow destroy their campsite. He had dark circles under his eyes, swollen from his tears, but he looked somehow relieved.

Technically nothing had changed between that night and that morning, but Kurosaki looked at him with guilt. “What?” Grimmjow demanded.

_ ‘I’m sorry.’ _

Grimmjow paused to look at him, brows scrunched together in confusion. “Sorry for what?”

_ ‘I said things to you that were unwarranted. You’ve done nothing but help me, you don’t deserve that.’ _

Fighting back a sigh, Grimmjow’s shoulders sagged, almost in disappointment. “That’s what’s bothering you?”

Ichigo shifted, defensive. _ ‘Should it not?’ _

“I’m tougher than that, fish.”

For some reason that answer seemed to offend Kurosaki. Of all his choices, somehow Grimmjow had chosen the wrong one. Arms folded across his chest, the merman watched him with sad eyes, thoughts clearly still focused on the past. 

Golden locks had inevitably slipped free from the ribbon, most of his hair free rather than tied. Grimmjow finished dealing with the horse in silence, tying up the last of the bags, and then turned to Kurosaki. “Turn around, I’ll tie up your hair.”

He took a small step back.  _ ‘I can do it.’ _

Grimmjow ignored him as if he hadn’t spoken, turning him around by his shoulders to handle it anyway. He tugged the ribbon free, holding it between his teeth as he gathered up wild and tousled hair. His fingers brushed up along Kurosaki’s neck and jaw, the merman shuddering at the touch. Grimmjow wasn’t actually sure if that reaction was a good or bad one.

Tying his hair back into another bow, Kurosaki took a deliberate step away from him.  _ ‘Thank you.’ _

He felt he’d done something wrong. Whatever closeness they had the night before seemed to be gone, and Grimmjow didn’t understand why. He swallowed past that uncomfortable feeling and said, “It’s getting harder to hear you.”

A heavy breath fled Kurosaki’s lungs, and without preamble he took Grimmjow's arm, his thumb claw breaking the skin. The flood of aether was familiar at that point, but it took that moment to realize there was no need to feel those warm lips on his anymore. And he wanted to.

The rest of the morning was just as stiff and awkward, both of them staring when they thought the other wouldn’t notice. They ate in silence, Kurosaki devouring dried fish and Grimmjow gnawing on a strip of jerky. He helped Kurosaki up into the saddle, and felt a pang when he noticed how the merman carefully avoiding leaning into him.

It hadn’t even been that long and Grimmjow missed that contact, he wanted to go back to where they’d been.

They were taking a break in the shade after midday when Grimmjow broke and couldn’t take it anymore. “What is it, what did I do?”

_ ‘You didn’t-’ _

“ _ Bullshit _ ! You’ve been treating me like a stranger all day! No, worse than that.”

Kurosaki cringed, looking ready to blow him off again, and Grimmjow’s anger surged past whatever hurt he’d been feeling, throwing him up against a tree. The merman grunted in pain when his back struck bark, hand tight around Grimmjow’s wrist, and finally gave him an answer.  _ ‘Isn’t it better this way?’ _

Grimmjow tightened his grip on his shirt and cloak. “The fuck does that mean?”

“It’s like you said, this is a facade, I don’t belong here. Isn’t it less painful to stop before we can start?”

As true as those words were, Grimmjow found the reason for his anger. Hurt. Grip loosening, his voice lost its edge. “Do you want me?”

Apology clouded gold eyes.  _ ‘Did you doubt that?’ _

“Yes.”

Something like regret flashed across Kurosaki’s face. He looked torn. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’

“It’s too late for that. It was too late when I first laid eyes on you.” He stepped closer, barring Kurosaki’s escape. The merman didn’t look concerned by his proximity like he had before, if anything he looked thoughtful. His eyes slipped somewhere past Grimmjow’s shoulder.

“I’m here  _ now _ ,” Grimmjow growled. “Don’t ignore me.”

_ ‘It’s hard to,’ _ Kurosaki said honestly. His eyes had wandered back down to his lips, pupils blown wide, even in dappled sunlight. That stroked Grimmjow’s ego something fierce. He’d planned to let Kurosaki make the first move, but he was impatient, always had been. 

His lips crashed against the merman’s, pinning him between the tree and his body. Whatever reservations Kurosaki had seemed to be exclusively mental. His lips parted and he gripped his shirt, tilting his head back to make up for their height difference. Kurosaki’s jaws parted, careful not to force his tongue against sharp teeth. The merman was content to let him lead, a soft growl trembling between them.

Grimmjow broke away to go after his throat instead, his instincts railing to dominate every inch of him. Kurosaki was strong, he could smell it and feel it in the muscles flexing beneath his palms. 

The merman suddenly stiffened, startled, and Grimmjow didn’t have to guess why. A wolf whistle carried from the path behind them. Grimmjow hissed in annoyance and turned to look, arms still barring Kurosaki from sight. 

Three men were walking just a short way up the road, and Grimmjow cursed his carelessness. He was so focused on Kurosaki, he’d stopped caring about the outside world entirely. All three were younger, heading into the city. They didn’t seem related, it was likely their monthly supply run. They were harmless. 

One called out. “Don’t stop on our behalf.”

If they could be friendly, they didn’t recognize him, that was good. Grimmjow growled, “Keep walkin’.”

One of the others said something to his companions, got a laugh, and called out to Kurosaki. “Hey lady! You get bored with the angry prat, you know where to find us.”

Kurosaki blushed from head to toe in indignant fury.  _ ‘They think I’m a woman?!’ _

Not usually one for dick-measuring contests, Grimmjow was in a possessive mood. “Between the three of you I’m sure you have at least one dick.”

They kept walking and laughed, their insults shifting onto each other now that they were farther down the road.

Grimmjow shifted, making sure Kurosaki was good and trapped when the merman pushed at his chest. He finally caught him, there was no chance he was letting some strangers fuck that up for him. “Relax,” he growled, “Better they think you’re a woman than not.”

Kurosaki glared up at him.  _ ‘I’m not a woman.’ _

The merman was still mad, but honestly, he was attractive when he was angry, and Grimmjow had already forgotten his frustration over being interrupted. “Just pretty like one,” he said. “Good thing your clothes are loose. If they saw this,” he dipped down, dragging his hand up his thigh as he stole a brief kiss. “Or this.” His hand wandered up his abs to a muscled chest. “They would have no doubts.”

That stroked Kurosaki’s pride enough to earn him a kiss. The merman dragged himself up with a solid grip on his jacket and kissed him, voice echoing in his thoughts. _ ‘At least no one questions if you’re male or not.’ _ The merman captured his lip in his teeth, threatening, but never biting, and let him go.

Grimmjow licked his lips and found he was a little winded. “Why does that bother you so much?”

The merman’s expression suddenly shifted towards embarrassment, cheeks and ears burning red.  _ ‘You just-you say I’m pretty but you’ve gone out of your way to avoid any part of me that’s male.’ _

Grimmjow’s eyes widened, realizing the tatters of his chivalry were mistaken for a lack of interest. He scoffed, finding his accusation ridiculous, but it was gently chiding, shy of real mockery. He flattened his quarry to the tree again, but this time he checked his surroundings before he got handsy. 

He knocked Kurosaki’s legs apart and went for it, grabbing a handful of his balls and his cock. Kurosaki’s hands shot out for his arms, falling into his chest with a startled gasp.

“If you wanted me to touch you, you only had to ask,” Grimmjow purred.

Kurosaki was on his toes, both leaning into and away from his hand.  _ ‘Fuuuucck, forgot you can just  _ **_grab it._ ** _ ’ _

That was a good point, he wondered how much foreplay he’d need to get his hand around Kurosaki’s dick when he was water-bound. He stopped that train of thought, bookmarking it for future reference, and kneaded his balls through his pants and smirked. “I’m a little proud to be the first person to get you by the balls.”

_ ‘Does it count when you couldn't even see them before? Feels weird.’ _

Grimmjow didn’t stop massaging his dick through his pants, fingers reaching around to cup his balls. “Weird bad?”

Kurosaki shifted his weight, whimpered, and decided.  _ ‘Good...I think.’ _

“Am I forgiven?”

Kurosaki’s hips gently rolled against his hand, subtle enough that Grimmjow wondered if he even realized he was doing it.  _ ‘What?’ _ Even in his thoughts, his ‘voice’ sounded flustered. 

“For neglecting you,” Grimmjow elaborated.

_ ‘Whatever–Yeess, as long as you don't stop.’ _

Grimmjow withdrew his hand and started unbuttoning his pants, less skillful when he was in a hurry. He wanted to just shred them, but his sewing skills were lacking and it really wasn’t worth it to ruin his only pair of pants.

Kurosaki shifted, both impatient and nervous, and Grimmjow noticed his eyes kept flicking back to the road.

“We’re alone,” Grimmjow reassured.

_ ‘Are we?’ _

“I’m paying attention.” Kurosaki looked skeptical, and Grimmjow stroked his cheek. “I’m paying attention so you don't have to. No one will catch me off guard again.” Kurosaki pulled away from his touch only out of pride, but those warm eyes regarded him with so much trust, it made his chest ache. This merman was relying on him for everything, but pleasure was at least simple, and he had the advantage of knowing his body better than Kurosaki did. 

Tugging his pants down to his thighs, Kurosaki was clearly hard, the head of his throbbing cock a deep red. He was beautiful, even in an unfamiliar body. It was remarkably easy to rile him up, he might as well be a horny teenager. 

Glancing back at his face, Grimmjow noticed Kurosaki looked like he was having second thoughts. That or he really was that shy. It was a hot day, even in the shade, and Kurosaki was flushed and panting like he’d run a mile, and Grimmjow hadn’t even touched him yet. “You okay?”

_ ‘Sensitive,’  _ Kurosaki explained. _ ‘Feels...feels like a lot.’ _

He imagined it would, trying to remember those first few times he’d fumbled around as a teenager. From the way Kurosaki squirmed, it was more than a first time, this was being touched in places that simply hadn’t existed before yesterday. “I’ll go slow,” he promised. For Kurosaki’s sake and his own. 

He wanted to drag this out as long as possible, he didn’t want Kurosaki to forget what he could do to him. His instincts snarled at him to dominate, Kurosaki’s feelings be damned. Those were his insecurities talking, he knew Kurosaki was desirable, and in another situation, it would be Kurosaki who was dominant, without question. It made him feel he was easy to lose.

Grimmjow stuck his own fingers in his mouth then wrapped his hand gently around his cock. Kurosaki shuddered at the contact, knees trembling. Grimmjow slowly wrung the head between his fingers, the pad of his thumb teasing the slit and Kurosaki’s legs gave out. Both hands shot out to catch him and hold him, Kurosaki apologized, face buried against his chest,  _ ‘Sorry.’ _

“Don’t be, Grimmjow said, “I’m flattered.” He set him on the ground at the base of the tree and Kurosaki tightened his knees, hiding his erection. For the moment, Grimmjow let him, tugging his pants down to his boots to have better access. He still sensed no one on the path behind him, they had time.

“Why so embarrassed?” he hummed. “You asked for this.”

_ ‘It’s my body, but it feels...weird.’ _

“I can’t imagine,” Grimmjow said. And he couldn’t, he just wasn’t in a position to know. “But I can make you feel good. Let me.”

Strands of Kurosaki’s hair had caught on tree bark and come free, falling into his face. His bangs were mussed and clinging to sweat shined cheeks. He panted for a moment, the sound loud between them, cheeks flushed and let his knees fall apart, just enough for Grimmjow to slip his hand between his knees. It was difficult to get Kurosaki to submit, and remembering just what he was dealing with, he didn’t think he’d have it any other way.. 

Grimmjow wasn’t entirely sure where the shame was coming from. Maybe it was simply the fact Kurosaki had to give up control at all. Pressing his knees apart, Kuroaki resisted for a moment, then relented, coiled muscles falling lax. His cock twitched under Grimmjow’s appreciative stare, and he asked, “Can you handle it if I use my mouth?”

_ ‘Y-you’re what?’  _ Kurosaki looked like he couldn’t begin to comprehend what he’d said, eyes wide. 

“Yeah, feels a lot better than a hand.”

_ ‘You can do that?’ _

He supposed with a race of people with shark teeth, nobody would want anyone’s mouth near their precious dick. Now he was even more interested. He’d have something to give him that no one could replace. He supposed friction would be hard to come by when you were underwater too, that gave him plenty of ideas.

Whatever look he was giving Kurosaki seemed to make the merman nervous, his lower lip tortured by the sharp points of his teeth. Grimmjow huffed a laugh, smoothing his hands over his thighs. “Easy, fish.” 

He glanced down at his hands, seeing the abuse Kurosaki was dealing to weeds and grass. He tugged one wrist, placing it on his head. “Let me know if it’s too much.” Hesitantly, Kurosaki lifted his other hand to his head, looking for all the world like Grimmjow had told him he was going to bite his dick off. Hopefully that opinion changed. 

Dropping between spread, muscled thighs, Grimmjow took his cock in hand and exhaled over the tip. It had been years since he’d done anything like this. With his position he didn’t need to, nor did he ever find anyone he wanted to get on his knees for. At least Kurosaki couldn’t judge him too harshly, he wasn’t likely to notice if he was terrible.

Rasping his tongue over the head, Kurosaki’s hands clenched in his hair like he’d been shocked. Grimmjow winced, glancing up at Kurosaki, and a loud, heavy breath fell from Kurosaki’s lips. Where he’d been uncertain before, he looked at him now with pure lust, his irises thin rings around his pupils. Seemed the fish liked it. 

Dropping down, Grimmjow kissed the head, swirling his tongue, and Kurosaki made a pained sound, a stilted moan played out by every pass of his tongue. He was so loud after struggling to contain his reactions thus far. It made his blood boil knowing he could tear the other male apart so easily. He’d barely done anything and Kurosaki was a wreck.

He started to gently suck the tip, curling his tongue around the head and Kurosaki’s whole body moved in a sinuous wave, head thrown back against the tree. That was far from human, he’d never had another beneath him with that much casual grace. He kneaded his hair in his hands and moaned loudly the sound framed with a very inhuman whine. Kurosaki’s hips rose to meet his mouth, instinct dictating actions Kurosaki didn’t consciously consider. 

Grimmjow’s lust spiked at the sounds he made, heat pooling in his groin. He denied those feelings to focus on Kurosaki, taking more of him into his mouth. Kurosaki was breathing so hard he thought he might pass out. He reached for him, hand light on his stomach, and Kurosaki dropped his head to look at him, desperately fighting for air. Grimmjow sucked in a breath through his nose and swallowed, that minute movement making Kurosaki flinch and gasp. Gods he was sensitive, he wondered if this counted as torture. 

Kurosaki didn’t look like he wanted him to stop, if anything he was begging for more. He’d never ask, he was too prideful for that, but he could see the need in his eyes. Dropping his head, he sucked, and pulled back, slowly and gently. Kurosaki keened, chest heaving with stilted breaths, and held him still in a death grip.

Grimmjow wondered if motion was too much to handle, so he tried being creative. He stroked him with his hand instead, growling low in his throat. That was what did him in, his hands tightening in his hair to yank him down on his cock, legs tightening around his head. Grimmjow gagged, but let him pull him down, eyes watering. Kurosaki’s back bowed, and the merman growled, the sound strangled in a groan. 

Grimmjow didn’t fight his hold on his head, feeling the pulse of his cock on his tongue. He’d never thought he’d willingly swallow anyone’s cum, but finding himself in the moment, trapped between thickly muscled thighs, he discovered he didn’t care.

Orgasm rippling through Kurosaki, his erection flagged along with his grip, and Grimmjow pulled off, breathing hard. His jaw ached a bit and his lips were a little numb, but that was surprisingly good, and worth it for the look on Kurosaki’s face. The merman looked at him like Grimmjow belonged to him, and on anyone else, that would have pissed him off. In this situation it was flattering. “You liked it?” Grimmjow asked.

Kurosaki smiled, eyes bright and cheeks flushed.  _ ‘Yeah.’ _

Grimmjow’s chest clenched at the joy on his face. God. He was fucked, he was so thoroughly fucked. 

It wasn’t only that he was beautiful, it was that he was looking at him, and he smiled. He wasn’t a sap, but that felt special. Never in his life had anything felt more earned. 

Without thinking about it, Grimmjow straightened, stealing a winded kiss. Neither could hold it long before they had to breathe. Kurosaki’s voice was in his thoughts before they even broke away.  _ ‘What about you?’ _

Shifting so he was on his knees, Grimmjow took Kurosaki’s hand and guided it to his crotch. Kurosaki’s fingers tentatively traced the bulge of his cock through his pants, face aflame. Grimmjow smirked, pleased he could get a reaction out of him. Leaning close, his voice was rough and thick with desire. “That’s what you do to me, minnow.”

Kurosaki frowned at the new nickname, but he didn’t take his hand away. He felt the length and girth of him with a dizzying blush that did little to hide his thoughtful expression. Grimmjow pushed to get what he wanted, lust fogging his thoughts enough to make him bold. He straddled Kurosaki’s lap on his knees, hand braced on the tree beside his head, and took his chin in his hand. Kurosaki looked a little indignant, but he tolerated it. Grimmjow laid out some options. “You wanna help or are you gonna watch?”

_ ‘What does helping imply?’ _

A lazy smirk stretched across Grimmjow’s face. “Whatever you want.”

Trepidation was replaced by determination quicker than Grimmjoww as expecting. Kurosaki jerked his chin from his grip and tugged at the waistline of his pants with a low growl. There was an air of frustration in his voice. _ ‘Off.’ _

That was the first time he enjoyed listening to an order. Something about that growl sent a shock of pleasure up his spine. He made quick work of his pants, taking his cock in hand. He stroked himself from base to tip with a shudder, the slit drooling precum. He wasn’t a narcissist, but he knew he was impressive, at least for a human. He panted, “Now what, Kurosaki?”

The merman was staring, equal parts contemplative and lustful. He batted his hand away from his cock and replaced it with his own, sitting up a little straighter. He moved his hand a bit, experimental, and frowned.  _ ‘Dry.’ _

“It’s fine.” Honestly he didn’t think he’d care if he decided to use his fucking teeth;  _ he was touching him _ , and his determination was the single sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

Clearly Kurosaki decided it wasn’t fine, because he leaned in and experimentally swiped his tongue over the head. Grimmjow shuddered, wondering if the merman’s tongue had always been so long. Deeming his mouth to be too risky, Kurosaki didn’t let it slow him down. The merman tilted his head, mouthing his shaft with hot lips and wetting him with his tongue. 

Reminding himself to breathe, Grimmjow’s claws raked through the bark, sparing a glance at their surroundings. Still alone. Which was good, because he was past the point of caring if they gained an audience.

Looking back down at Kurosaki, the merman’s jaws spread, his tongue nearly circling the girth of his cock. Holy shit his tongue was long. Grimmjow panted, watching Kurosaki, slowly and diligently kiss the length of him. The merman finally looked up, a challenge in golden eyes. For someone so uncertain and lacking in confidence in an unfamiliar place, he made up for it in those casual, dominant looks. 

Cock twitching in Kurosaki’s palm, Grimmjow growled, “Move.”

The merman defied that order immediately, tightening his grip instead, twisting. Grimmjow hissed and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself with both hands on that tree. “ _ Fish _ .” 

He wondered briefly if he’d just put himself in the hands of a sadist, but it seemed Kurosaki got the response he wanted. He started jerking him off, short strokes near the head, clenched in the tight ring of his fingers, followed by long, languid strokes from the base up. Grimmjow groaned, core muscles clenching. There was no way this merman was a virgin, no matter how much he blushed like one. Those were the practiced motions of someone fondly remembering a good fuck. “ _ God _ , Kurosaki.”

_ ‘Faster?’ _ Kurosaki questioned. The merman was studying him with an intensity that nearly made Grimmjow shy. It wasn’t a judgemental look, but a calculated one. 

Hanging his head, Grimmjow’s hips rocked into his hand, following the wet grip his hand promised. His answer was breathless and thick. “Yeah...yeah, faster. I’m close.”

Kurosaki sped up, but not too quick, focusing on the head of his cock, wringing the tip in a vice grip. Grimmjow bit back a moan, growling under his breath when he felt that line of pleasure coil in his balls. He stiffened, jerking his hips into his hands, eyes locked on gold, and spilled into Kurosaki’s palm. 

Practiced motions milked his cock and he groaned, savoring the waves of pleasure that crashed over his body, pulsing with his thudding heart. “God you’re good at that.”

A cocky smirk tilted Kurosaki’s mouth.  _ ‘I’m glad it translates.’ _ He lifted his hand to his mouth, licking his cum from his palm. 

Grimmjow reached for him and tugged at his wrist. “You don’t have to do that.”

Gold eyes flicked back to meet his and Kurosaki said. _ ‘Seems fair.’ _

A hot blush crawled up to Grimmjow’s ears. Did he just-? The reminder he’d already technically done that was somehow hotter than the blazing afternoon sun. “We should get cleaned up.”

Sparingly using the water they brought to rinse themselves off, Kurosaki finished off an entire flask on his own, thirstier than he was letting on. Grimmjow helped Kurosaki with his pants, since the merman seemed defeated by buttons. He was grateful their activities hadn’t curbed the merman’s prideful, obstinate whining, as annoying as it should be. From Kurosaki it was damn near cute.

Thrilled his dreadful morning had turned itself around, or rather, he’d forced it to be better, he couldn’t help but preen until Kurosaki’s watchful eyes. He rounded up the horse, having wandered off during their activities to graze, and let the snorting animal back to the road.

The merman seemed to be in a much better mood when he returned, crouched and investigating a marching row of ants in the road. The merman straightened when he approached, a stupid smile on his face. He looked good when he smiled, he didn’t miss the tears. 

He hoisted Kurosaki up on the horse, and the merman seemed perplexed when he didn’t join him in the saddle. “Hot day, I’m giving the horse a break.”

Leading them away from the clearing, the horse followed the road and Grimmjow was close enough to touch Kurosaki’s leg, so he did, smoothing his hand up his thigh. “Still sore?”

_ ‘Not as much.’ _

“Good.” He was concerned, but in actuality, hew as biting his tongue to keep from asking what he really wanted to ask. “So…”

_ ‘Yes?’ _

“Who was your first?”

He’d been worried he might spark bad memories, but Kurosaki’s smile held nothing but fondness, even some pride.  _ ‘A warrior from another clan. He was obnoxious. But I’d always liked him.’ _

“Should I try to be more obnoxious?” Grimmjow teased.

Kurosaki chuckled. ‘ _ I like you the way you are.’ _

Taken aback by how honest those words were, Grimmjow circled back. “So who did the fucking? How does that even work for your kind?”

The merman flushed at the prospect of explaining intimate details, and said intelligently. _ ‘Uhhh.’ _ He pulled his hair off of his neck, playing with the tail of it draped over his chest.  _ ‘He wanted to fuck me, but it didn’t work out like that.’ _

Grimmjow sucked in a breath. “I fucking knew it.”

_ ‘Knew what?!’ _

“That you were dominant.” He muttered.

Kurosaki blushed, and tried to bite back a smile. _ ‘You’re threatened by me?’ _

“Don’t sound so smug.”

_ ‘Worried I’ll find a pretty submissive and be over you?’ _

Scowl furrowing his brow, Grimmjow only grunted, because it was true.

_ ‘Don’t worry,’  _ Kurosaki said lightly.  _ ‘I like the challenge.’ _

It was spoken with such blunt honesty, Grimmjow could only assume it was true. That was a boost to his ego he didn’t know he wanted. It was one thing to woe some hapless, blushing court maiden, but another thing entirely to catch the sights of someone like Kurosaki.

Grimmjow said, “So you didn’t explain how that works.”

Blushing and looking anywhere but him, Kurosaki answered,  _ ‘If you’re still interested by then, I’ll show you.’ _

Grimmjow snorted, finding it hard to believe his interest could wane so quickly. The conversation trailed off into companionable silence, with scattered questions from Kurosaki regarding birds or plants, and it was almost possible to forget they were running. Almost.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new thing was 'blowjob'...yes lol


	7. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo gets wet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait uvu I was busy with merman painting and store things ~ I hope you liiiike

\--- xxx ---

**Kurosaki Ichigo**

The day waned with tumultuous clouds on the horizon and the rumble of thunder. He’d never experienced a storm on land, but Grimmjow seemed more than unhappy to see it. He steered them off the path with a curt explanation. He was searching for shelter. Ichigo didn’t have the slightest idea what to look for, and so, feeling useless, could only watch from the back of the horse. 

Over an hour passed of uneven terrain and ducking under tree branches, and Ichigo didn’t think it was possible to be sorer than he already was until they left the road. Every lurch of the horse and he was wincing where he sat. 

Grimmjow finally seemed to find something suitable. It was a sloping, mossy hill, stretching beneath an overhang of rocks. Grimmjow left him at the top of the hill and checked it out, and whatever he found seemed to pass his standards, because he came back for him, grumbling, “We should have been at the river by now.”

Ichigo looked up at the greying sky.  _ ‘Is it so bad to travel in the rain?’ _

“Smells like a bad one, so yeah. Lots of wind, lightning, it’s not something we want to get caught in.” He reached up for Ichigo, grabbing him by the waist to help him down. Ichigo’s legs were stiffer than he expected, collapsing into his chest with a grunt of pain. Grimmjow seemed ready for that, accepting an armful of dead weight in stride.

Readjusting his grip, Grimmjow bent down and hoisted him into his arms. 

‘You don’t have to do that.’

Grimmjow ignored him as if he’d said nothing. He set him down carefully on a mossy ledge. “You okay?”

**_‘Fine.’_ ** Ichigo bared his teeth, shrinking back from his touch.

Grimmjow didn’t take it personally, hand smoothing over his upper thigh. “ _ Fish _ , you aren’t used to this. No more than I’d be used to swimming for a day.” His hands slipped around to his inner thigh and Ichigo flinched in pain. Grimmjow sighed, hands recoiling to a safer expanse over the top of his legs. “Let me take care of the horse first.”

Ichigo wouldn’t admit it, but he was looking forward to whatever attention Grimmjow might give him. Even if it didn’t soothe the pain he was in, he wanted to have his attention again. That felt selfish and needy, but he couldn’t fool himself. 

Goldeyes tracked his every move as he made camp; the way his pants clung to his ass when he bent over, the way the tendons in his forearms strained, and his hair fell into his face. He’d never paid such close attention to anyone, but the memory of Grimmjow’s lips and his hands filled him with a heat he couldn’t banish.

The man stroked the horse’s neck, leaving out a good amount of feed where it wouldn’t get wet, and finally turned his gaze onto him. Thunder shook the hillside, blue eyes locked on him in intense consideration. Ichigo curled into himself, tearing his eyes away. It wasn’t like him to be submissive, but he hurt, he wasn’t in much of a mood to challenge, and there was no better way to earn Grimmjow’s attention.

Grimmjow wound up crouched between his knees, the deepening gloom making his eyes sparkle in the cave. The man asked, “Where does it hurt?”

_ ‘You know. Why ask?’ _

A smile spread across the man’s face, white teeth flashing in the growing dark. “Maybe I like it when you ask for help.”

_ ‘Grimmjow…’ _

He didn’t take his pathetic resistance seriously at all, shimmying his pants down to his knees. It was still a little frightening to be exposed, but after allowing Grimmjow close once before, it wasn’t so terrible to give in again. The rock beneath him was unrelenting, but the moss was cool and soft, making his spot at the edge of the cave tolerable.

Grimmjow’s hands were gripping his inner thighs, heat sinking into sore and chafed muscle. After hours of the constant, rocking motion of a horse’s gait, it felt good to be still. Grimmjow’s lips and teeth danced over his neck and collarbone, showering him in affection.

It wasn’t purely romantic in what he’d expect from another, it was tinged with possessiveness he couldn’t say he didn’t like. He wasn’t the predator here, he was prey, aether or not, and his instincts crooned being the center of attention for something so clearly dangerous, while his thoughts and pride rebelled. Those teeth brushing his throat weren’t promising pain, but protection he desperately needed. 

Ichigo resigned himself and doubled over, cheek and arms resting on Grimmjow’s back. _ ‘My legs hurt.’ _

Strong hands gently squeezed his thighs. “It’s what happens when you’re on a horse all day.”

Ichigo worried his lip, displeased he had to ruin something so intimate.  _ ‘It’s more than that.’ _

Sitting up and dislodging him from his back, blue eyes knowingly met his own from between his knees. “We’ll be at the river tomorrow, is that not enough?”

He really wasn’t sure if it was enough, but it didn’t stop the discomfort now.  _ ‘Aches,’  _ Ichigo said. Grimmjow was right calling this a facade, this wasn’t meant to last.

He shifted where he sat, and the rain began to fall. Slow at first, it grew into a roar outside the cave, the noise steady and interspersed with thunder. It caught his attention, and he watched, finding it soothing, despite what torment it could likely cause. 

Grimmjow picked him up, ignoring whatever protests he may have had, and sat him down in his lap, pants slipping down to his ankles. Ichigo squirmed, but Grimmjow was relentless, his arms like iron bars around his torso. Deciding it wasn’t worth it, especially when it was comfort he enjoyed and it likely soothed whatever instincts Grimmjow had, he relaxed against his chest as much as he could. 

A small river flowed through the center of their shelter and out the back, too small to allow entrance, but the chirping of an unseen frog filled the cave. Water dripped into puddles, echoing inside the small cave and reminding Ichigo of the caves of his home. The sweetly sharp smell of moss stung his nose, missing the brine of saltwater and the slap of waves on cliffside walls. 

Ichigo watched the water flow over the sides of the rock, staring at the downpour in longing. Grimmjow sighed, his hands smoothing over his stomach. His nose was flush to his neck, his exhale warm, tickling his skin. 

They both knew what he wanted, and they both knew what it meant. Grimmjow spoke softly, grip around him loosening. “Go.”

Ichigo frowned, disliking the acceptance in his tone, but leaned forward anyway. Grimmjow caught his arm. “Strip first.”

Ichigo shot him a look, and he elaborated. “You thought you were uncomfortable in dry clothes, just wait til you feel em wet.”

No thank you. Taking that advice, he stood and stripped, kicking off his boots and throwing his clothes down on mossy rocks. Grimmjow made a disapproving noise and gathered his clothes, folding them and placing them up higher from the ground like a disapproving parent. 

If he was less eager, he might feel bad for shirking the responsibility, but his own body felt like it belonged to a stranger, and the rainfall promised sanctuary.

Glancing back at Grimmjow, the man just settled back to sit, watching him with a guarded expression. He thought he should be bothered to be stark naked in front of Grimmjow, but he was too preoccupied with his own misery and his goal. 

He stepped out into the rain and out from under their rocky refuge, water rising up to his shins, toes curling in soggy moss. Water streaked over his skin, soothing an ache that had little to do with his borrowed body’s physical pains. Ichigo sighed in relief, shoulders sagging. It was cold and savage, but it was still water. It was a small piece of home he’d needed. 

Sheets of rain struck his skin in torrents, distant thunder shaking the sky. No cage, no bars, just pure, t terrifying freedom. The world was bigger than he could have imagined. The ocean had always held mysteries, the dark spurring fear and mystery, but to be so far from its embrace, he felt small and alone.

Falling to his knees outside their shelter, he sat, folding his legs in his arms, and let the rain fall over him, throwing his head back to accept it all. He missed the sea, the quiet of the depths, the songs of his family. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend.

The ache in his bones settled, appeased by the water sliding over his skin, and whatever discomfort he had from a long days ride evaporated under the swell of his aether. 

He could feel Grimmjow’s eyes on his back, watchful and protective. He was an unlikely guardian, and he owed him everything. Not only his freedom and his life, but his happiness. Before Grimmjow, he hadn’t thought he’d smile again, let alone laugh.

Now that Ichigo was surrounded by water, he realized he could sense the subtle drift of Grimmjow’s emotions. The man was deeply sad, and Ichigo thought he knew why.

Everything Grimmjow had left was in that clearing with him, and Ichigo couldn’t stay. Every reminder they were different was a reminder that time was slipping away from them, and that no matter how good it was, this couldn’t last.

  
  


\---xxx---

**Grimmjow**

If ever it was clear to him Kurosaki didn’t belong there, it was seeing him standing in the rain. He gave him a hard time for being so damn pretty, but he was definitely male. The sharp contour of muscle teased the outlines of his back and shoulders, raking hard lines down his spine to legs he shouldn’t even have. 

He seemed healthier, happier, his skin literally glowed with streams of aether. Nothing he could do could have given him that. He couldn’t control the rain or where rivers and oceans fell, and he could only briefly reach him there. 

It wasn’t fair. 

It was a childish conclusion but it felt no less true. He hadn’t known Kurosaki very long, but he wasn’t going to get the chance to know. Trying to keep him would be cruel. He’d already seen him suffer in a tank, and he’d never ask him to do that. Once he took him home, he had an entire ocean, Kurosaki wouldn’t need him anymore, and he would leave. 

As he should, it wasn’t fair he’d been taken in the first place. At least he could share some memories that weren’t all bad. He didn’t want to be forgotten, he wanted to matter in someone’s life.

Once, he considered what it would be like to have a family. Those dreams died when he realized whatever he was, didn’t mix with humans. Denied a family in its entirety hardly seemed fair. But life wasn’t fair.

The rain began to quiet, drops falling from leaves into small puddles, and Kurosaki tilted his head, resting his head on his knees for a brief moment. Fiery hair clung to his shoulders and back in messy and drying swirls when he stood. His legs were a little unsteady beneath him, but he managed. The merman looked back at him, amber eyes burning with aether, and his breath caught. 

Night had fallen, and he hadn’t noticed, his night sight casting the world in silver, but Kurosaki’s eyes were warm. How something that ruled the ocean depths could be so fiery shocked him. 

The other returned to him, balance steadier than Grimmjow would have thought he could manage. Kurosaki climbed up onto his lap, skin damp and dripping, and braced himself on the wall behind Grimmjow’s head. The look in his eyes was intense, his heart leaping up into his throat to be the focus of something so wild. 

Kurosaki’s hips pressed down against his own, shockingly hot, and so, so close. Grimmjow realized he was being seduced. He wasn’t oblivious to Kurosaki’s intentions, but that had hardly ever happened. Years of being a violent, callous asshole didn’t win him many suitors. Not of the variety he wanted.

The merman might have been shorter, but he wasn’t small, and the fact he was heavy was obvious when he pressed his groin down into his own in delicious contact. Grimmjow’s hands found his hips, his skin never as cold as he expected, and he inhaled to speak. 

Kurosaki silenced him with a kiss and his voice slid through his thoughts, smooth and welcoming.  _ ‘I won’t suffer this sadness from you, or me.’ _ He felt called out, and he’d rather be angry than mopey and brooding. 

Kurosaki wasn’t idle during their kiss, he pressed into him hard, his stiffening cock an iron bar against his stomach. A demanding growl shook between them, his tongue tingling from sharp teeth.

The merman’s hands wandered, over his sides, his thumb resting in the bend of his leg, fingers sliding beneath the waistline of his pants. His fingers were softer than they should have been, devoid of the callouses he would expect from a warrior. His palms were hot brands on his skin, exploring curves that were nowhere to be found on his own kind. Talon-like claws dug into the muscle of his ass, so close to drawing blood.

Grimmjow broke away, and even with his libido racing, he felt the need to put his foot down. “You’re not fucking me.”

Kurosaki chuckled darkly, the sound racing straight to his groin. He teased,  _ ‘Would you rather I fuck you in my true form? I don’t think you could handle it.’ _

Grimmjow bared his teeth, hands tightening on Kurosaki’s hips. “You’re not fucking me,  _ period _ .”

Aggression ignored, Kurosaki kissed along his jaw and hummed, the sound deep and buzzing.  _ ‘I like that fight.’ _

For whatever his reasons, Kurosaki seemed to be enjoying testing his dominance, and Grimmjow couldn’t say he disliked it. He glanced down beside them, checking there was enough space for the two of them, and shifted their positions, throwing Kurosaki down on his back. 

The merman grunted, but seemed okay with the sudden change, his smile lazy, legs tightening around his waist.  _ ‘Legs are good for some things, I guess.’ _

Grimmjow reached out, hand around Kurosaki’s throat, and no matter if the touch was light, Kurosaki’s eyes darkened, breath stilted. Grimmjow could feel his pulse racing, he felt the bob of his throat when he swallowed. He asked, “What brought this on?”

_ ‘Does it matter?’  _ Kurosaki asked. He reached up for his scarred cheek, and Grimmjow leaned away on reflex. That didn’t stop the merman, his fingertips smoothed over his skin, unwrinkled and warm, as if he hadn’t been in the rain for over an hour.

“You were so unsure before.”

_ ‘I’m capable of changing my mind.’ _

It wasn’t that this wasn’t appealing, Grimmjow was more than invested, and his instincts screamed at him to take what was being offered. He wanted to sink into that hot body more than anything. 

Legs tightening around Grimmjow’s waist, Kurosaki rolled his hips up into him in barely restrained eagerness. Grimmjow squeezed his eyes shut and let out a ragged breath, reminding himself of what mattered. He leaned back and said, “No.”

Hurt flashed across Kurosaki’s face.  _ ‘Why?’ _

Grimmjow’s grip shifted on his throat to his cheek, not intending to crush his pride, but he wasn’t known for his tact. “Not like this. The first time I take you it’s not going to be in a false body. I want  _ you _ .”

Cheeks burning, Kurosaki stared up at him with wide eyes. It took him a moment to decide on what to say.  _ ‘Will you still want to?’ _

“Again with this,” Grimmjow growled. “Are you miraculously going to not be you?”

Kurosaki’s brows creased and he argued.  _ ‘You can like me and not be attracted to me.’ _

“Are you that worried?” From the self-conscious look on Kurosaki’s face, he was. Grimmjow changed tactics, dropping down to steal a brief kiss. His lips were always so feverish, like he contained the sun itself. “Minnow, you have my attention, it’s losing it that you need to worry about.” He reassured him with a crooked smile. “Ya aren’t gonna lose your chance. You’re temptation itself.”

Sighing beneath him, Kurosaki’s arms fell over his head and he was just shy of pouting _. ‘Well, now what?’ _

“I said I wouldn’t fuck you, but I didn’t say I had the self-control to leave you be.”

A flush had settled over Kurosaki’s face and chest, and he watched expectantly, letting him lead again.

Grimmjow preened at his submission, and the very fact he was laid out beneath him for him to have his way with was mouth-watering.

He sat up, shrugging out of his jacket and unbuttoning his pants to free his hardening erection, thanks to Kurosaki’s valiant efforts. No interruption was going to cool him off enough to ignore it, not with the scent of Kurosaki’s own arousal thick in humid air. 

He sat back on his heels, idly stroking himself as his eyes traced the tendons of his throat, the valley of his chest and abs. His arms were still raised over his head, arching his back enough to see the ridges of his ribs, muscles held taut. Kurosaki’s eyes weren’t idle either, the merman watched him with near predatory interest. If he didn’t know any better, he’d believe he wanted to eat him alive. 

Tiring of looking, Grimmjow dropped to his hands and knees. Whether from a conscious choice or instinct, Kurosaki spread his legs. The amount the other was willing to submit was something to marvel at. Grimmjow didn’t think he’d be able to relax if their positions were flipped. 

Dropping his hips, Grimmjow cock was flush to Kurosaki’s, trapped between their bodies. Kurosaki caught on fast, wrapping his arms around Grimmjow’s back with a soft gasp. Dropping to his elbows, Kurosaki’s hand slid up into his hair, demanding a kiss. Rocking his hips down into Kurosaki’s hard body drew a groan out of him, Kurosaki struggling to return the motion from beneath the weight of his hips. 

His jaws parted wide, not allowing Grimmjow to cut himself on his fangs. Considerate, but nothing was going to stop his tongue from ravaging his mouth, Kurosaki’s tongue curled around his own. It was wet and hot and a little bloody, despite how hard Kurosaki tried, and it was the substitute Grimmjow needed while he waited to claim what was his.

Hips moving faster, their breath clashed, hearts racing, and Kurosaki’s hands found his ass again, squeezing tensing muscles. Grimmjow growled in warning, but his hands remained, squeezing and kneading, as if fantasizing he was buried inside him. A tiny part of him thought that was hot as fuck, but his instincts were irritated. 

Breaking that kiss, Grimmjow’s jaws spread around his neck instead, teeth threatening Kurosaki’s throat. Still, he held on, so Grimmjow escalated, tightened his jaws in warning with a low growl. The merman whined, that sound going straight to his dick, and Kurosaki’s hands retreating further up his back.

Grimmjow replaced his teeth with his tongue in reward, sucking the hard tendon of his neck. Kurosaki bucked his hips up, claws raking over his shoulders and he keened, the friction of their cocks suddenly slick with his spending. Grimmjow thrust his hips against Kurosaki, fantasizing over the way he knew his body would clench around him, hot and tight. He moaned, biting down on the bend of his shoulder and felt his orgasm build. Kurosaki was spent, but he was good, he was so good, meeting every desperate thrust with his own hips. 

His orgasm crashed down on him and he bit down with a snarl, thrusts losing all sense of rhythm as he came on his lover. He slowly moved his hips, riding out the high that came with his orgasm, and slowly began to realize he’d let himself slip too far. His ears twitched, flattening to his head, and he withdrew sharp fangs from Kurosaki’s neck, licking his apology.

The merman healed fast, soon there was no more blood to lick from his skin, and Grimmjow knew he had to face him. Pulling back, both of them still breathing hard, Grimmjow apologized. “Didn’t mean to do that.”

Kurosaki huffed, a smile on his lips.  _ ‘Then I’m flattered.’ _ He reached up for him, his fingers dancing across his throat. 

Grimmjow snatched his wrist, flattening his hand to the stone beside his head with bared teeth. “I touch  _ you _ .”

The merman seemed to have gotten the response he’d wanted, his smile pleased.  _ ‘You should let your instincts loose more often.’ _ Kurosaki squirmed a bit beneath him, drawing a hiss from Grimmjow.  _ ‘Are you satisfied?’ _

Grimmjow shuddered under a wave of lust. The merman knew how to appeal to him, and submitting to his desire was a big one. “I’m still not fucking you.”

Kurosaki sighed.  _ ‘I tried.’ _

“You’re sneakier than I thought.” Kurosaki knew how to play off his instincts better than he expected. He’d very nearly gotten what he wanted. If he wasn’t trying so hard on the daily to crush his impulses, it wouldn’t feel so good to indulge them in Kurosaki. 

‘It wasn’t all selfish,’ Kurosaki said. He lifted his hand to his face, following the fur along his jaw up to a long, tufted ear. His thumb and forefingers rubbing a circle over it, Grimmjow’s eyes narrowing in pleasure. _ ‘I like this side of you.’ _

Sitting back off of him, Grimmjow didn’t know how to answer. Kurosaki followed him up, eyes locked on his dick in curiosity. He reached for it, fingers brushing his shaft and Grimmjow flinched, oversensitive. Kurosaki noted,  _ ‘Spines.’ _

“You made me shift.”

Kurosaki’s curiosity led him to smooth his thumb over the spines at the base of his cock.  _ ‘What are they for?’ _

Grimmjow flushed, retreating from his curiosity. “Guess you’ll find out when I fuck you.” For all his words of acceptance for what Kurosaki was, he was still uncertain about himself. He pulled away, slipping from the rock to the steady stream of water at the bottom of their shelter. 

Cleaning himself off and chasing away his erection with cold water, he spun and hissed on reflex when a hand closed around his tail. “Hey!”

Kurosaki held his palms up innocently.  _ ‘I wanted to touch.’ _

“ _ Clearly _ .”

Still uncomfortable in his own skin under such dedicated attention, Grimmjow roughly shoved his transformation back down. He took the opportunity to get dressed, tucking himself back into his pants where he was safe from wandering hands. 

Kurosaki got cleaned up, eyes locked on him the entire time, even to the point of detriment. Grimmjow could only guess what he was thinking, the merman was sometimes as skilled as he was at hiding how he felt; it was equal parts unnerving and flattering. 

Ignoring his own pants, the merman climbed up to join him on the dryer part of their shelter. 

Grimmjow noted the lack of pants with a pointed look and asked, “What’s that about?”

The merman helped himself to his lap and said simply.  _ ‘Uncomfortable.’ _

Okay then. 

Grimmjow wrapped his arms around him, noting the merman smelled heavily of him. He was drenched in his scent, and that...made him happy. Forgetting about the future, he focused on what was right there in his arms. “Get some sleep.”

All he got in return was a sleepy grumble. 

One day at a time. 

For all his insistence on living for the future, it was hard to forget it and lean on the present. He wanted that moment to last. The weight of his lover asleep on his chest, hair still damp and smelling of moss, the drip, drip of water, and steady, easy breath against his skin. Kurosaki slept the fitful, trusting sleep of children and fools, and it felt earned, special. Yes, he liked this.

Fighting sleep for as long as he was able, he too, joined Kurosaki in sleep.

  
  



	8. Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo protects his cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don’t wanna read fishie porn, you’re a smart cookie, you'll know when it starts; scroll past it or control/command F: "He wrapped around him"

  
  


**Grimmjow**

\---xxx---

The cave wasn’t comfortable by any stretch of the imagination, but it was facing away from the sun, and they both woke up late. Grimmjow always felt old when he slept on the ground. He stood and stretched and joints creaked and popped in protest. Kurosaki seemed to have fared no better, even using him as a pillow. Dark smudges under his eyes betrayed how little sleep he’d actually gotten, and when he stood, his legs trembled. 

There was no argument to be had, Kurosaki took the horse. Instead of taking the road, Grimmjow was paranoid now that they were so close to their goal, and stuck to the trees. He could smell the river, he knew where it was, so he led the horse over as even terrain as he could manage.

As exhausted as they were, the lack of conversation wasn’t taken personally. Both were so tense, there was barely a reaction at all when they came up to the river bank. 

The horse’s hooves sunk into smooth pebbles, a shallow, rocky shore giving way to deeper, clear blue water. The whole width of the river was too large to cross easily, but Grimmjow was unsure how deep it was. Likely inadequate to hide a full-grown merman, but it was at least enough for Kurosaki to swim in. 

Eager to get in the water, Kurosaki slid from the horse’s back, got a foot caught in the stirrup, and fell into Grimmjow’s waiting arms. “I’d give you shit for that if you didn’t look so miserable.”

Kurosaki’s shoulders shook with hysterical laughter. _‘I’d feel better if you did.’_

Grimmjow snorted and felt his dread deepen. “Are we doing this?”

_‘I have to.’_ Kurosaki got his feet under him and started to strip. His movements were stiff and mechanical, wobbly a bit when he lifted a foot from the leg of his trousers. On reflex Grimmjow grabbed his shoulder, steadying him.

Kurosaki glanced at his hand, then carried on, slightly more at ease than before.

As attractive as Kurosaki was, the knowledge of what Grimmjow had to do kept it from being sexy. It felt odd to take his clothes from him, folding them neatly, hopeful he got to use them again. 

The last thing to go was the ribbon, and even Kurosaki seemed reluctant to remove it. He handed it to Grimmjow, apologetic. _‘I wish you didn’t have to do this.’_

He did too.

It was easier before, he hadn’t had to do anything then. Watching him suffocate wasn’t easy, but now he was attached, he didn’t want to see him die, let alone be the one to do it.

Kurosaki bit his lip when he didn’t get an answer, anxious, but waded into the water anyway. He got up to his hips, and Grimmjow followed, shirking his shoes and nothing else. Kurosaki faced him, fear in his eyes, and Grimmjow felt sick. 

_‘Can you do this? You have to drown me, you can’t stop.’_

Grimmjow frowned. “I’ve killed people before.”

Kurosaki looked hurt, and Grimmjow quickly realized his mistake. Kurosaki wasn’t just anyone, not anymore.

Dragging the merman into a stiff hug, he tried to reassure him, but it wasn’t his forte. “I don’t want to do this, but you’re relying on me. Of course I can do it.”

The merman didn’t return his embrace in its entirely, he merely leaned into his chest for a long moment, then quickly stepped back. _‘Okay, do it, before I lose my nerve.’_

Grimmjow had to agree. He grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him down beneath frothing water until his back hit smooth stones. He wasn’t as buoyant as a human should be, he sank like a rock, golden eyes flat with clear water separating them. Seconds passed...a minute. 

Kurosaki started to struggle. Grimmjow grit his teeth, steeling his heart to it. His body kicked and fought to survive, his claws tearing trenches into his arms. Blood obscured his view, clouding in the water.

Grimmjow put all his weight on him, keeping him firmly on the bottom of the river. His thrashing slowly calmed, his body twitching violently beneath his hands as his lungs flooded with water. The life in his eyes faded, and Grimmjow felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He wasn’t really dead. He wasn’t really dead. 

His arms trembled, so fearful he’d killed the one person in his life he truly began to care about.

Kurosaki suddenly thrashed, streaked with crimson aether. Grimmjow let go, and pain exploded on his side. He fell to his hands and knees with a splash, winded and feeling like he’d been hit with a falling tree. There was a lot of splashing, then sloshing water on the riverbank, then silence, and the sound of Grimmjow’s wheezing breath. 

He heard a ripple in the water, and saw Kurosaki’s fin breach the surface, just out of reach. He moved erratically back and forth, and Grimmjow quickly realized why he didn’t approach, despite his concern; He was too shallow. 

Despite how much his lungs struggled for air, he got his arms under him and heaved himself to his feet, staggering into deeper water. 

Sloshing down the pebbled slope, he waded in until the water reached his chest. Kurosaki’s hands were on his side, feeling along carefully where his tail had struck him. Grimmjow could see his wobbly outline through the water, his hair blooming like fire in the sunlight. _‘I hurt you.’_

“Just winded,” Grimmjow wheezed.

_‘You’re poisoned.’_

Grimmjow coughed, guts cramping up. “Really?”

_‘Yes, really.’_ Kurosaki tore his shirt to get at his skin, and Grimmjow felt his tongue over his side. He flinched, more startled over discomfort, and kept still. He started to feel hot, more than a little, and he didn’t think it was the sun. Whatever Kurosaki was doing with his tongue didn’t take long, and once done, he roughly pushed him towards shore with an order. _‘Get on land in case you pass out.’_

Grimmjow heeded that warning and asked, “Is it really that bad?”

_‘You aren’t human, I don’t know.’_ The strain in Kurosaki’s voice didn’t go unnoticed, and Grimmjow cursed his luck. It was a wonder Kurosaki wasn’t down for the count, but both of them?

Staggering to shore, Grimmjow collapsed on his back, his side burning. His limbs tingled unpleasantly and pain sang through his blood. That poison was nothing to laugh at, it’s a shame it had to be him, and not Szayel.

Fighting for consciousness, he lost that battle quickly, dragged down into feverish sleep.

\---xxx---

**Kurosaki Ichigo**

The instant he pulled himself out of the grip of instinct, he realized Grimmjow was in pain. Exhausted or not, it didn’t take him long to realize why. In his panic, he’d clipped the man with his tail. That worried him far more than any claw marks. The poison from his claws Grimmjow could shrug off, but his spines could be deadly.

His saliva had a chance to negate it, but he’d done all he could. All that was left was to swim in tired circles, waiting and anxious with Grimmjow just out of reach. Beaching himself just to anxiously panic _and_ suffocate did no one any favors. 

He had nothing to do but rest, half his senses aware on his surroundings. He didn’t like how vulnerable Grimmjow was, laid out in the open and unconscious.

More concerned about wildlife, he was startled alert by voices. Cautiously drifting into deeper water, he hoped he wasn’t seen. From the bits and pieces he gathered from their speech, they definitely saw Grimmjow. They didn’t sound concerned, but excited. That made his heart pound. 

The man was defenseless until he recovered from his poison. There was so little he could do from the river, other than convince them to switch targets.

He stayed close to the bottom, easing closer to try to make out their speech. Three of them from the sound of it. They noted Grimmjow was dressed from wealth. They were already close to him, and they didn’t seem all that concerned. They casually speculated what had happened, from heatstroke, to a lost duel, to rabies. The started to rifle through his things, Ichigo could hear rather than see them take apart the saddlebags. 

They found the sword, Ichigo heard it slide front he sheath, and they all got nervous. “What if he wakes up, lookin for his stuff?”

Silence. “Well...what if he don’t wake up?”

Rising to the surface, Ichigo swam quickly, fins breaking calm water. He slapped the surface with his tail, going out of his way to get their attention. _Look at me, assholes._

They noticed, he heard it in their voices, they’d have to be deaf, blind, and dumb to miss him. 

Needing to see where they were and what he was up against, Ichigo briefly surfaced, vision blurry outside of the water, and his hopes sank. Three strong men, and nets. _Nets_. He hated nets.

Swimming into deeper water, Ichigo tried luring them from shore. He couldn’t imagine they were used to fishing for animals that fought back.

“Reckon that’s what gottim?”

“Maybe, lookit the size of it.”

“What is it?”

“Mermaid?”

“Don’t be daft.”

“Wha’ else could it be?”

Of the three, one waded in after him, Ichigo saw dark boots in the shallows. Foolish. Flicking his tail, he edged in, then twisted away, luring him deeper, keeping just out of reach. 

He was exhausted, but he was also _pissed off_ . They hadn’t done anything yet, but they were well on their way to. Grimmjow was _his_ , and they dared to even consider harming him.

The man was in up to his knees, Grimmjow’s sword in hand. That pissed him off even more. Grimmjow treasured that sword second to his life, he saw the way he carried it with him, always within reach. This man held it like an amateur, there was no way he’d hit him with it in any way that mattered. 

Sluicing through the water with a powerful kick of his tail, he hooked his claws in his leg and yanked, beating his tail wildly in the shallows to drag him down. It worked, he was too startled to retaliate and Ichigo made sure the force of the water kept him stunned and at his mercy. 

He dragged him to the bottom of the river, the muffled shouts of the other two ringing out over the water. He dropped him there, the man dazed and unsure which way was up. 

All they’d had to do was leave Grimmjow alone. 

He doubled back, flattening the man to the riverbed with bared teeth. The man screamed, losing what little air he had left. Somewhere along the way he’d dropped Grimmjow’s sword, and he had nothing left to fight with. 

Living up to his namesake, Ichigo drowned him, he watched him die, he made damn sure of it. 

He abandoned the man at the bottom of the river with the intent to finish what he started. Rising back up near the surface, Ichigo prowled the edge of the shoreline, daring the others to try him. Neither stepped foot in the water, both shouting obscenities in rage and panic. 

A few moments passed, Ichigo swimming back and forth, fins splayed in aggression. He was beyond caring about consequences. 

They seemed to decide on a plan, keeping their voices low now that they feared he might understand. It mattered little, he’d already decided he’d kill them.

One edged into the water, the other beside him. If he hadn’t used up nearly all his aether dying and changing back, this would be over and done with. As it was, he had nothing but his dwindling strength.

Lashing out again, Ichigo reached for the closest. He heard the net unfurl, he saw its shadow, and he darted away. It dragged along his back, narrowly missing him. The man began to reel it in, and Ichigo swung back before he missed his chance.

The other man threw his own net, and he was too slow to avoid it. It closed over him and restricted his movements, netting cutting into his flanks. He thrashed, hoping to pull them in, net or not. 

They struggled against him, both hauling on the net with all their strength, and it was purely his exhaustion that kept their boots on the ground. 

Deciding he was making no headway, Ichigo saved what little strength he had left and let them drag him closer to shore, waiting patiently for a chance. 

Despite his rage, his heart pounded in fear. He hated nets, _he hated them_ . The memory of what could happen was burned into his heart, terror dragging his instincts to the forefront. _Focus_.

They heaved him onto the pebbly shore, making an effort to pull him headfirst. They were mistaken if they thought his tail was the most dangerous part of him. 

Fins still splayed, he thrashed again with a shriek, water foaming around him. They flinched, but less so than before. They thought they’d won, their guard was down.

His vicious thrashing had ripped their pathetic net in more places than one. In the places it had wound into itself into a thick rope, it held him captive, but elsewhere, it was fragile. He bared his teeth, hissing in fury, and one of them stepped a little too close. Arm flashing out, he yanked one to the ground. He hit with a grunt and a panicked scream. 

Ichigo dragging him over the shore, claws hooking into his clothes and flesh. The man’s boot clipped his head, then kicked him solidly in the shoulder, but Ichigo didn’t relent. He thrashed again, throwing himself on top of the man. All he needed was to be within biting distance. 

Ichigo hadn’t forgotten about the other. He’d found a hefty looking piece of driftwood, raising it up to strike. Ichigo snarled, twisting his tail, and with no one to hold him down, he was as lithe as an eel. He struck the man in the chest, and the prey in his claws had gotten his hands on his hair.

Attention torn from the man on the beach, Ichigo spun back, jaws snapping at anything in sight. He crunched down on something and the man screamed, yanking on his hair and beating his head. Twisting violently, Ichigo writhed, squirming back towards the water. He desperately needed to breathe, but he wasn’t willing to let his prey go.

Still tangled head to toe in netting, with a man fighting for his life, it wasn’t easy, but he was motivated. That he might be killed before he killed these men was unthinkable.

Dragging the man into the shallows by claws and teeth, he realized he’d snagged the man’s hand. His gills flared, and his panic lessened, that burning need sated. Wrenching his teeth from fragile bones and tendons, he launched for the man’s throat, screams ringing in his head. His teeth sank in and the man’s scream was abruptly cut off. 

Throat clenched in his jaws, Ichigo twisted, still trying to thrash his way into deeper water. He saw that the man on the shore had recovered his makeshift weapon, brandishing it with a throaty scream.  
  
Certain the man in his jaws would bleed out, Ichigo dropped him and beat his tail, water violently disturbed into frothing red. He got into enough water to cover his gills and the net tightened, trapping his arm to his side. Shit. The man wailed on his tail with the stick and it hurt, but Ichigo was tired, and in a few seconds he was going to be beating him in the head. 

Ichigo screeched in defiance, water churning in his efforts to free himself. The man was too close and he couldn’t twist to fend him off. He raised his weapon and Ichigo screeched in frustration. _He wasn’t done._

His attacker suddenly stiffened, freezing in place. 

Confused, but not about to waste his chance, Ichigo squirmed away, movements cut short by the net. The man collapsed facefirst, and behind him stood Grimmjow, wet, face flushed, bloody knife in hand. He panted. “Is that all of them?”

He was awake, hew as alive, it was fine.

_“Is that all of them?”_

Ichigo looked back towards the shore and saw that the man he’d throttled wasn’t getting back up. _‘Yes.’_

Grimmjow sighed, wiping sweat away from his eyes. His voice was breathy, all the words tumbling from his lips in an exhausting string. “Goddammit, fish.” 

Threat gone, Ichigo was free to panic over the loss of his mobility. He slapped his tail, writhing to free his arm. It only bit into him tighter, constricting in painful, burning lines.

Grimmjow yelled, “Hey! Cut that out, stop moving.”

Twisting to see over his shoulder, Ichigo looked at him from beneath the water with wild eyes. His panic was no less than before, but his fear he might hurt Grimmjow again willed him to stillness. 

Shoving the floating dead man out of his way, Grimmjow carefully edged closer, staggering to his knees. Ichigo flinched, startled. “Easy...easy.” He reached out and touched his flank, hand smoothing over his side. 

It stung his pride to be talked at like a frightened animal, but it helped. The shine of the dagger in the sun still made him feel cold with dread, but outside of his instincts, he knew Grimmjow wouldn’t hurt him.

For a long moment, Kurosaki watched him, gills flaring. Grimmjow panted, hand on his side, and didn’t move, calmly reassuring him. He murmured, “Easy...let me help you.”

He lifted the knife very slowly, lifting it to his side. Ichigo was tense, flinching when cold steel laid flush against him. “Shh, be still. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

It was a struggle, as simple as the request was. Grimmjow started carefully cutting away the net, sawing away at thicker strands. All the while one hand was pressed flat to his side, warm and reassuring. Strands snapped under a knife-edge and Ichigo felt his mobility slowly return. The water was murky with blood, and from the smell of it, a lot of it was his. 

Without rage and adrenaline, his exhaustion hit him like a wave, his heart slowly calming from its frantic pounding. _‘I protected you,’_ he offered weakly.

“Yeah,” Grimmjow sighed. “Yeah, I can see that.”

Grimmjow snapped the threads binding his trapped arm, and both Ichigo’s hands came to rest on the riverbed. He felt a twinge in his neck and he reached up, clawing at the net. Grimmjow’s hand caught his wrist, stopping him short, and Ichigo twisted to free himself. 

“Hey! Relax, I’ve got it.”

The concern in his voice and on his face was enough to make him obey. Watching Grimmjow steadily.

The man got his knee beneath his chest for leverage, and dragged him up and out of the water to see. Ichigo cringed at the sunlight, squeezing his eyes shut, and gripping the leg beneath him. Grimmjow very carefully slipped the knife between twisted strands and his throat. Ichigo stiffened and froze, fear spiking.

They snapped free, and Ichigo immediately shook off Grimmjow’s hands, throwing himself back in the water. That his fear was so blatant filled him with the uncomfortable weight of shame. He loathed being weak, and he had to admit he needed Grimmjow’s help, he wouldn’t have been able to manage this on his own.

Grimmjow was flushed and dripping sweat, probably with fever. He should still be asleep and resting, but from the determined look on his face, no matter how much Ichigo insisted on it, he wouldn’t listen. 

It took a long time before Grimmjow had successfully cut away the entire thing, and Ichigo was dutifully still through all of it, exhaustion chasing the tail of his fear until there was nothing left of it at all. 

Bundling up the heap of it, Grimmjow dragged the remains of the net to shore and threw it on the rocks. He sat heavily, twisting his back of stiffness with a grimace. He looked around the beach for the first time, his eyes lingering on his empty sheath. Ichigo couldn’t read his expression, but sensed he wasn’t pleased. 

With a few tired beats of his tail, Ichigo searched the bottom for the glint of steel. It didn’t take long to find, the water was clear and the sun was still high. 

Carrying it back to shore, Ichigo surfaced and lifted the sword over the water, offering it back to him. Grimmjow frowned, then heaved himself to his feet. He sloshed back into the water and carefully retrieved it, a small bit of tension leaving his shoulders. “Thanks…”

Ichigo had nothing to say to that, so he lazily turned, swimming into deeper water. His body ached and stung from a million small cuts. Grimmjow was safe, he was safe, so he curled up on the riverbed to rest. Small fish nibbled at the deeper gashes, and he was too tired to chase them away.

\---xxx---

**Grimmjow**

Kurosaki didn’t surface again, but he knew he was close, and so he let him rest. He’d fucking earned it. 

Grimmjow had a killer headache and bodies to hide. 

Two were on the shore, so he dragged them up off the beach and into the trees. He knew how the last one died; his dagger in the heart. But the other two? One looked like he’d been mauled by a wildcat, deep red trenches in his skin. His hand was just about gone, and his neck was a bloody mess. 

Even exhausted, Kurosaki damn near killed three grown men without aether, with just teeth and claws and pure vicious cruelty. He knew the merman was fearsome, but to see the proof strewn about the beach was entirely different. These men worked for a living, they weren’t small, and anything fighting for its life could be dangerous, let alone something like Kurosaki.

He could assume the man floating out of reach had been drowned. But this poor clawed up wretch had been fighting a desperate merman to the death with his bare hands. 

Even if Grimmjow hadn’t made it to the third, he thought Ichigo might have managed to kill him too. It was a mess, is what it was. If he hadn’t gotten his ass poisoned, none of this would have happened. 

At least the horse was okay.

Grimmjow checked on his side, satisfied it was healing, and decided to wash away the blood from the shore, just in case this riverbank was more well-traveled than he hoped. Not to mention wildlife. They could have the bodies, but he didn’t want a bear getting nosy.

Waking up to a fight to the death was something of a shock. Kurosaki had a screech that could wake the dead, so he could only hope no one else heard it, and if they did, they ran the other way.

Using the bucket the dead men left behind, he splashed water over the rocks, and once he was satisfied, tossed that into the thick underbrush. He contemplated keeping it, but it was simple in its uniqueness, and if someone recognized it, he’d be in for more questions than it was worth. 

He’d left the horse near the trees when he’d passed out, so now he led the horse to drink, leaning on its side more than he meant to. The other man had drifted close enough to the bank to retrieve, so leaving the horse to enjoy the river, he finished his work.

It was hot and tiring and did nothing for his headache, but it wasn’t like anyone else was going to do it for him. By then the sun was starting to sink, and Grimmjow couldn’t leave Ichigo alone any longer. 

The panic in his eyes haunted him, and the way he’d flinched under his touch still made his stomach flip. Whatever harm came to him before they met had left plenty of scars, scars Kurosaki clearly hadn’t meant from him to see. 

  
  


Wading in, he splashed water on his face and neck, then slapped the surface, hoping he got Kurosaki’s attention. A moment passed, and he saw his fins break the surface. “Can’t make camp next to a buncha fresh bodies, I’m taking the horse downstream. Follow?”

_‘I’ll follow.’_

He started walking, much slower in his progress than the merman. He cut through the water like a bolt, fins parting the surface in streamers. He’d get too far ahead, disappear, and reappear behind him, swimming lazy circles.

Grimmjow gave it an hour of slow trudging before he decided he was in a good spot. He made camp, noticing Kurosaki’s fins occasionally cut the water, watching him. 

Making camp in the state he was in took until twilight, but by then he had a fire going. The sun was gone, and he was still hot, so he could only assume it was a fever. He sat on his bedroll with his back to it, eyes on the river, and finally asked, “What happened, fish?”

It took some time before Kurosaki found it in him to respond. _‘They found you on the bank, they were going to steal from you-’_

“So you killed them?”

Grimmjow saw the surface disturbed by an angry tail flick. _‘No. They saw your sword, something about you scared them. They were going to kill you.’_

“Tsk.” Grimmjow’s teeth clenched. Gets himself poisoned, then nearly gets killed in his sleep by fisherman. Pathetic. “Are you okay?”

_‘I’ll live.’_

“That isn’t what I asked.”

He thought he heard humored resignation in the merman’s voice. _‘Tired.’_ The merman’s fin disappeared and he asked, _‘Are you okay?’_

Grimmjow was honest. “Fever, headache. I’ll live.”

Grimmjow couldn’t see beneath the water at all, so when Ichigo’s fin broke the surface not ten paces away, he was startled. The merman sat up from the water, holding himself up on his arms, hair clinging to his shoulders. The fire reflected off his eyes in a halo of green, predatory. _‘Come here.’_

“Y’know, I don’t actually like getting wet.” 

Ichigo’s quiet laughter shook the water, firelight glinting off his fangs. 

Complaints or not, Grimmjow complied, pulling off his boots and rolling up his pants. He sloshed in, finding it both awkward and interesting to have Kurosaki at his knees. He crouched and Ichigo said, _‘A headache I can help.’_

He climbed Grimmjow, one hand in his shirt, and the other around the back of his neck. He kissed him, sneaking aether in to mingle with his own. It was a lot like what he’d done so they could speak to one another, but this felt like ice on his pounding headache. Kurosaki was right, it was soothing.

The feeling didn’t diminish when they pulled away. Kurosaki shifted back into deeper water, submerging his gills. Grimmjow stayed crouched there a moment, and sighed, wondering if it was the fever making him sappy or his brush with death. “Was starting to get used to sleeping next to someone.”

_‘I haven’t gone anywhere,’_ Kurosaki argued.

Grimmjow watched him, straightening from where he was crouched to head back to shore. If he didn’t know any better, Kurosaki was heartbroken. He was underwater, but he was as shallow as he could go, as close as he could stand to exist. 

Stripping off the rest of his clothes, Grimmjow listened to be sure they were alone, casting his eyes up and down the beach. Satisfying himself that they were, he went back for his nighttime swim. It was almost nervewracking to climb in the water after seeing what Kurosaki could do, exhausted and beaten or not. 

He walked in until the water was lapping at his ribs. It was cold now that the sun had fallen, but with it, the wind had died, and the surface of the lake was like glass. Kurosaki’s silhouette was visible against lighter river rocks, and the merman swam tight, sluggish circles around him. 

He saw a lithe tail just barely miss breaching the surface, felt it brush his legs. It was like staring down into another world, it almost didn’t seem real.

Kurosaki’s hand smoothed over his side and Grimmjow winced. Yes, he was real. “That’s still tender. I think you cracked some ribs earlier.”

_‘You didn’t mention that,’_ Ichigo chastised. 

“They’re mostly healed, it’s fine.” He turned in a small circle with him, following the golden banner of his hair. His fingers trailed through soft ends, and he asked, “This better than a fish tank?”

_‘A puddle would be better if it promised freedom.’_ Latent anger simmered there, but it flickered out quickly. _‘Much better.’_

“Can I touch?”

There was barely contained curiosity in Kurosaki’s answer. _‘Yes.’_ He added, _‘You don’t need to ask.’_ There was emphasis on the ‘you’, and it stroked his ego to know this creature chose to accept him, and only him. 

Kurosaki was still wrapped around him, tail far more flexible than he’d realized. He reached down into the water, smoothing his hand over his side. He was gentle, feeling the deep ridges where that net had torn through flesh. “Does it hurt?”

_‘Not much.’_

Grimmjow took that to be permitted to carry on, yet he was cautious of any part of him that could be injured. It was hard to tell in the dark, all he had was touch, and his nightsight struggled to discern shapes through water. He smoothed his hand over his flank, over the ridges of ribs, and along his sides, a row of small bumps, in a line down to his tail. They felt almost like the ridge of a spine.

Kurosaki answered his unasked question. _‘Helps me sense the water.’_

Grimmjow’s hands moved on from his sides to his underbelly, softer, but just as muscled as the rest of him. Those muscles flexed and Kurosaki made a soft rumbling sound, his hands wrapping around his leg, fingers trailing over his thigh. Grimmjow tired of looking down at him and bent his knees, submerging in the water. 

Kurosaki climbed his chest, wrapping his arms around him in a tight embrace. Grimmjow returned it for as long as he had breath, his hands consciously low to avoid his gills. The cool water felt good for his fever, and Kurosaki’s chest against him was warm. When he pulled away to surface, Kurosaki reluctantly loosened his grip.

Grimmjow straightened, and Kurosaki shifted his embrace to his middle, the back of his claws tracing up his spine. He shivered, lifting a hand to Kurosaki’s head. His fingers tangled in floating tresses, hand coming to rest on the back of his neck. They were close, and both wanted to be closer, but Grimmjow was coming up empty. “I don’t know how to make you feel good,” he admitted. 

Kurosaki suddenly pulled away, and for a brief instant, Grimmjow thought he was going to leave. Merely readjusting so he was belly up, Kurosaki leaned into his chest, using him as an anchor. The merman caught his hand and brought it to his stomach, slowly guiding him down.

His fingers followed a v of coiled muscle, until his fingers dipped into a smooth, shallow slit. Kurosaki stopped him there with a sound not unlike a thudding purr. “This is…”

_‘Get me worked up, it’ll come out.’_

That made a lot of sense, his dick had to be somewhere. Kurosaki pushed his hand lower, over a smaller slit. _‘You wanna fuck me? Here.’_

That was forward, but honestly, Grimmjow appreciated it. He hadn’t the faintest idea, and now he felt there was some level of expectation. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he wanted to do _something_. “What do I do?”

Kurosaki laughed, but it was light, excited. _‘Shallow water, it’ll be easier.’_

“For me or you?”

_‘For you, I’ll be fine.’_

Uncoiling himself from around his legs, Kurosaki swam towards shore, just about beaching himself. He sat up, the water only up to the bend of his arms, waiting for him. From the way the fire reflected off the surface of the lake, it was like he was half-submerged in gold. 

Grimmjow was slow to join him. In the water he felt just as clumsy as Kurosaki must have with legs. He got a foot on either side of him and sank down, straddling Kurosaki’s waist. He had no fears he might be too heavy on top of him like he had with any other lover. Kurosaki was still recovering and tired, but he felt like pure strength beneath him. 

In the light of the fire, the shadows were deep and the contours of his body cut sharp, those golden eyes blazing against dark, threatening stripes. Kurosaki’s tail flexed in a wave, throwing Grimmjow forward. Kurosaki reeled him into a kiss, and then he fell back in the water, hair spreading around him in a fiery halo. 

Feeling like a fumbling virgin, Grimmjow just let himself explore, his hand sliding down his chest, over hardened muscle, tracing the dip of his naval down lower. Now he felt the tip of his cock from that slit, smooth and spearlike. Kurosaki shuddered, and Grimmjow’s fingers slid even lower, prodding his hole. He was smooth and hot and tighter than any human he’d ever touched, but he supposed that made sense. 

Pushing a finger inside, he felt Kurosaki’s muscles flutter, a sound so quiet and deep wrenched from him he could only feel it by touch. He pushed that finger in, then removed it and found it wasn’t hard to add another. Kurosaki arched, he felt his muscles bunch between his legs, his back lifting the riverbed to meet his touch. 

He leaned back, all his weight on Kurosaki’s tail; he wanted to see. 

He pushed his fingers deep, all the way to the knuckle, gently stroking his insides. Kurosaki’s hands clenched in riverstones, holding back from touching him, eyes clouded in lust. He knew he did that for him, not wanting to hurt him with those poisonous claws. It was a new feeling, being the one looked out for.

He twisted his hand inside him, pulling out just to add another finger. He was slick, so it wasn’t any more difficult than the first, and Kurosaki was so eager for him. His underside was smooth and slick against his cock, Grimmjow couldn’t help rocking into him, uncertainty overwhelmed by lust. 

The merman’s arousal grew fast, his cock just about the length of his forearm. Now he understood what Kurosaki meant, there was no way Kurosaki would even be able to fuck him, not without practice. His grit his teeth at his own thoughts. Why would he practice? He didn’t want to get fucked.

Eyes still locked on his cock, Kurosaki was sure to notice. His humor rumbled through a growl. _‘Intimidated?’_

Grimmjow scoffed. “Look at it! Who wouldn’t be?” He shoved his fingers in deep and Kurosaki’s muscles rippled in pleasure. “If this is normal for your kind, are you even gotta feel my dick?”

The merman growled, tail cutting the water in an annoyed swipe. _‘Don’t be so insecure. No one’s ever fucked me before.’_

A frown crossed Grimmjow’s face. “Feels like a justifiable concern.”

The merman rolled his eyes at him, the fucker. _‘Are you gonna whine or are you gonna fuck me?’_

He couldn’t exactly hear that word aloud, but the way that vulgarity sounded in his head went straight to his groin. Grimmjow shoved his fingers back inside, earning him a shudder of pleasure. He smirked. “Save my life just for my dick?” 

The merman flashed his teeth. _‘Worked hard enough for it, didn’t I?’_

That drew a short laugh from Grimmjow, withdrawing his fingers. He shifted his weight over him, taking his dick in hand. He rubbed it over his hole, but didn’t push in, purring, “Beg me for it?”

Kurosaki’s eyes flared with arousal, pressing up against him in need. _‘I changed my mind, I liked you better insecure.’_

Grimmjow chuckled, dropping down to kiss him. “Liar.” He teased him, rubbing the head of his cock against that slit with stilted, panting breaths. “Must not wannit that bad.”

Kurosaki looked tortured, jerking up against him to try to get him to do something, but Grimmjow refused. 

_‘Fine! I need it, just fuck me already.’_

“Need what?”

_‘Bastard. I need your cock,_ **_just put it in!’_ **

As amusing as it was to torment his lover, it was a single driving need he couldn’t shake. He shifted first, gritting his teeth at the aching pain that spread over him. His ears lengthened, then flattened against his head, tail thrashing. He bared sharp teeth down at the merman beneath him. 

Kurosaki rumbled in approval, raising his arms over his head, chin tilting back. It wasn’t possible for him to submit any more than he was, and it stoked a fire in him, lust throbbing with desire. The merman was laid out for him to take, those gold eyes trusting him to fill his needs.

Dropping his head to Kurosaki’s neck, water pooled in the hollow of it, making his skin taste like minerals and heat. 

The sound Kurosaki made gutted him, and he couldn’t wait any longer. He speared him with his cock, driving inside him with a forceful thrust. Grimmjow thrust in to the hilt, jaws around his throat. Fangs teased pain but never crossed that threshold, holding his life in his jaws. He exhaled across damp skin and growled, pleasure streaking through him. He was so tight and hot, it almost ached. He felt like his cock was being wrung out, and if Kurosaki was in any sort of distress, he saw no sign of it. 

The merman’s soft growl made the shallows quake, the sensation rolling through their shared contact and making his teeth itch. He sensed nothing but boneless pleasure, and when he jerked his hips forward, Kurosaki’s growl stuttered, rippling muscles shuddering. 

He pulled back slowly and his walls clung to him, Kurosaki’s heat calling him back, and he thrust in again, jaws tightening. Kurosaki moaned, the sound guttural and loud. That sent his instincts crashing to the forefront of his mind. He snapped his hips back and thrust in, hard and fast. Kurosaki bowed to meet each slap of his hips, body tightening around his cock. There was little to no rhythm, only heavy and fast fucking.

With every hard thrust he wanted to be deeper–in, in, _in_. He wasn’t going to last long and he didn’t care, he needed to find his pleasure in Kurosaki, ached for it. He dug his claws into the riverbed, the wet slap of his hips clashing with growls of pleasure and the splash of water on the rocks. 

His hips snapped home, pleasure throbbing as he spent himself deep inside Kurosaki. He groaned, hips rocking as his heart hammered through his orgasm. He breathed, jaws loosening, and he let go, licking his apology across his throat where he’d bled him. It was odd to not hear panting breath from his lover when he could smell their lust, but he could hear the thud of Kurosaki’s heart in time with his own. 

He held up all his weight on one arm, wrapping his hand around Kurosaki’s cock. It bent with his touch, which was new, but not noteworthy enough to stop. He purred, voice whispered to his skin. “You feel me inside you?” A groan was his only response. He stroked him slowly, pulling away from his neck to look down at the merman. His breath fled at the sight.

Kurosaki’s skin was flushed, it was plain to see, even in the stark light of the fire. Those golden eyes were narrowed, fogged with lust. His muscles clenched in a wave, lithe body flexing, seeking his pleasure in his hand in desperate thrusts. 

Grimmjow shuddered as his body tightened around him, pleasure throbbing almost painfully, and Kurosaki whined, eyes squeezed shut, his orgasm gripping him in a tight embrace. His cum was hot in his hand, dripping onto his own stomach and chest. They both groaned, Grimmjow’s heavy breaths filling the silence. 

Dropping his filthy palm to the water, he cleaned himself, and dropped his head to Kurosaki’s, resting his forehead against his. Somehow Kurosaki felt cooler, or he was just that feverish. It hardly seemed to matter when he was wrapped up in Kurosaki’s scent, buried inside him. He finally felt his hands on his back, fingers tracing his mane, following his spine to the base of his tail. Then he started over, repeating the motion, again and again.

It was soothing, The fizzing pleasure in his blood had begun to fade, and he felt exhaustion creeping up on him to take its place. He pulled out, immediately missing the heat of his hands and body. He didn’t want to move, but Kurosaki’s gills were barely submerged, it couldn’t be comfortable.

Pleasure receded, Kurosaki’s cock was tucked inside and he shifted, wordlessly asking for a hand. Grimmjow took it and pulled him into a tight embrace. He half carried and half dragged him to deeper water, the merman helping the best he could. 

Kurosaki didn’t leave, he merely submerged and waited for Grimmjow to sit and get comfortable. He wrapped around him, draped in his lap in a loose embrace. It was a little cold now that he wasn’t moving, but Kurosaki was a warm and welcome weight. 

The absurdity of the situation struck him suddenly and he chuckled. He felt Kurosaki’s eyes on him, and he shared. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”

“It’s working out alright so far.”

So far. 

He yawned, shivered a little, and Kurosaki shifted to look up, concerned. 

“I’m fine.”

_‘Good enough to fuck, sure, but you were poisoned, you should sleep.’_

“Psh, you were _dead_ . _You_ should sleep.”

_‘Fine, we both need sleep.’_ Kurosaki hooked his hand around the back of his neck and pulled himself up for a soft kiss. He sent a wave of aether into him, soothing and comforting where once it had been frightening. He leaned back, brows furrowed. _‘Now go lie down.’_

Grimmjow’s ears flattened, considering arguing. 

_‘You can’t tell me you aren’t completely miserable, you_ **_look_ ** _miserable.’_

“Not completely.” Grimmjow shifted his hands around Kurosaki, smoothing over his side. “I like this part.”

The merman smirked. _‘I know you do.’_ He pulled away, submerging and untangling himself. _‘Go.’_

Possessiveness swarmed under Grimmjow’s skin, frowning at the water. “Don’t like that I can’t see you.”

Kurosaki didn’t mock him like he expected, he took his hand and squeezed it. _‘I’ll be close. Call me and I’ll answer.’_

It was meant to reassure and it did. Grimmjow squeezed his hand back, and slowly let him go. He stood, legs a bit stiff, and slogged to shore. He looked back, seeing the last of Kurosaki’s tail vanish into the dark. His voice was smooth in his thoughts. _‘Get some sleep.’_

Easy to say, harder to do. He sat near the fire, drying and warming himself, and pushed the change back under the surface. He didn’t like to sit and stew in his thoughts, but he felt strange. For once in his miserable life, he was happy. That brought with it all new fears. 

He didn’t want to lose Kurosaki, but he didn’t even know if the feeling was mutual. They found comfort and pleasure in their company, but could it last?

Begrudgingly getting up to dress, Grimmjow pulled up his pants and put on his boots and laid down beside the fire, sweating with fever in spite of the chill of night. One day at a time.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmjow goes swimming.

\---xxx---

**Grimmjow**

He was startled awake when something struck him in the back. He was upon his feet, sword drawn, and deeply confused to find no enemy. His brows furrowed, frowning at the empty beach. He looked down to see what hit him. A fish.

_ ‘Rise and shine.’ _ The laughter was clear in his head even if he couldn’t hear it.

“Very funny, Kurosaki!”

_ ‘It was a good shot though, wasn’t it?” _

It was. Not that he was going to admit that. “So what’s this?”

Kurosaki sounded aghast. ‘Breakfast!’ 

“I packed food!”

_ ‘If you can call that food. I thought cats liked fish?” _

Throwing his sword back into its sheath, he tossed it on his bedroll. “If you’re gonna feed me fish you could at least give me more than-”

Another fish hit him in the leg. He whirled and saw Kurpsaki’s head poked out of the water, eyes narrowed in a smile. 

“...one.” He looked at it and sighed. “Thanks.”

_ ‘No problem.’ _

Committing to eating fish, he gathered some more wood for his dying fire, then he set to work cleaning and gutting them with a dagger. Kurosaki’s fins occasionally broke the surface, watching him. He couldn’t see from his spot on the shore if his injuries were healed or not, but there was more energy to the lazy swish of his tail, he no longer looked exhausted.

_ ‘You look better.’ _

Opposed to shouting a whole conversation, Grimmjow didn’t respond, but he did feel better. His fever was gone, and the ache in his body was merely due to sleeping on the ground. He could thank his aether for that, but Kurosaki was nothing to laugh at, that poison would have killed a regular human in moments. 

Spearing his fish on sharp sticks, he set them over the fire to cook and headed to the river bank to wash his hands and dagger, splashing water over his face and the back of his neck. 

Kurosaki moved as close as he dared and asked,  _ ‘Where are we going?’ _

“Downstream. We’ll hit a village soon, an hour or so away. I didn’t want to risk you being spotted outright, so we’ll pass through tonight.”

_ ‘You’re anxious.’ _

He thought he’d hidden it, but Kurosaki still somehow noticed, in that weird semi-psychic way. “Should have been through it by now, Aizen’s men might be there.” That was something of a lie, they were most definitely there.

_ ‘How could they know where to look?’ _

“Didn’t go to the docks, did we? Even if they think they’ve lost you, they’ll be lookin’ to kill me. Aizen doesn’t take traitors lightly.” He clenched his jaw and added, “Or insult.” Stealing something that belonged to him was insult enough.

_ ‘You can’t get near that town, we have to go around.’ _

“How do you propose we do that, fish? I’m not dragging your fat ass through 5 miles of woods.”

_ ‘I’m not fat.’ _

Grimmjow scoffed. “You’re  _ heavy _ , fish, and you’re not gonna be able to do that leg trick for awhile, are you?”

It took a heavy moment before Kurosaki gave in. _ ‘...No.’ _

“That’s what I thought. The best we can hope for is that they sent a weakling to guard the town.”

Kurosaki was swimming in agitated, thoughtful circles.  _ ‘You could scout it out?’ _

“And if I’m caught? Who’s going to help you?”

His tail snapped in agitation, sending water spraying over the surface.  _ ‘If I hadn’t poisoned you this wouldn’t have happened.’ _

Grimmjow growled, “ _ Fish _ . This ain’t your fault.”

**_‘All_ ** _ of this is my fault,’  _ Kurosaki snarled.

Genuinely pissed off, Grimmjow stood, stalking back to the fire. He took his cooked fish and wrapped them in spare linen to keep the birds from stealing it, and pulled off his boots. 

He splashed into the water, stopping when it reached his thighs. Not catching sight of Kurosaki anywhere, he slapped the surface. “Fish!” No answer. “Don’t hide from me!”

Movement caught his eye, and a shadow twisted closer “Hey!” Reluctantly, Kurosaki swam even closer, until the shock of his hair was visible in the dappled sunlight. 

“This isn’t your fault,” he hissed. “Don’t go feeling guilty on me now.”

_ ‘I’ve taken everything from you, I’ve asked something impossible. How could I not feel guilty?’ _

Grimmjow couldn’t even argue, because the merman was right. He’d even taken his heart. “I didn’t have to do this, I could have let you rot, I could have left you with Aizen, but just thinking about it makes me sick. I’d do nothing different, I regret nothing, so shut up with the blame game. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

_ ‘You make it sound so simple.’ _

“Isn’t it? I promised you I’d see you to safety.”

_ ‘Is that all this is, a promise?’ _

Grimmjow turned in an aggravated circle, willing his anger away. Kurosaki wanted him to lash out–damn him–but he wasn’t going to. “ _ No _ , of course it’s not. You think I fuck everyone I’m beholden to?”

_ ‘How would I know?’ _

Grinding his teeth, Grimmjow considered dropping it, but they had hours to go until nightfall and he wasn’t looking forward to simmering over a non-issue. “What is this? Why doubt me now?”

Kurosaki didn’t answer, and Grimmjow wished he could see his face. The merman was intentionally keeping his emotions obscured.

“Hey!” 

_ ‘I’m not used to relying on others, I don’t like being defenseless.’ _

“Don’t take it out on me,” he spat. Grimmjow tacked on. “And you’re not defenseless.” He turned back towards shore and muttered, “Put me down for a day  _ by accident _ .”

_ ‘I didn’t mean to.’ _

“Exactly, so shut the fuck up, Kurosaki.” He dragged half the river with him when he got on shore, shouting, “Made me get my pants wet!”

_ ‘I didn’t make you do anything.’ _

Grimmjow sat, pants soggy, and unwrapped his fish. He muttered, “Yeah yah did, with your mopey fuckin’ attitude.”

_ ‘What?’ _

“I’m eatin’!”

Kurosaki was right, fresh fish was a slight bit better than jerky. He ate, picking around tiny bones, and tossed the remains into the underbrush. He was still in the shade where he sat, but wouldn’t be for long, the sun was intent and it was only getting hotter.

He killed his fire and fed the horse, moving into the sun to stretch out his legs and dry his pants. It was a quiet morning, and a few ducks landed in the river, floating in the shade. He was just as startled as the ducks when one disappeared in a splash and some bubbles. They flew off, honking in surprise, and Grimmjow commented, “I didn’t know you ate ducks.”

_ ‘Sorry, did you want one?’ _

“No thanks.”

_ ‘I think I like this better than seabirds. It’s fattier.’ _

Grimmjow noticed clumps of feathers that rose to the surface, trying to remember the last time he ate duck. “They usually cook it with a sweet sauce in the taverns, makes your fingers sticky. I remember liking it.”

_ ‘What do you usually eat? You don’t seem too picky.’ _

“I’m not, I just like meat. Doesn’t matter much what it is. Human spices are a bit of a turn off sometimes.”

_ ‘I wouldn’t know.’ _

“Do you fancy wrapping your fish in seaweed before eating it?”

_ ‘Why would I do that?’ _

“Flavor?”

_ ‘I can’t taste.’ _

“Really? Huh.” Grimmjow’s brows rose, surprised. “Me neither.” That led him to wonder what else they might have in common. “How well can you smell?”

_ ‘I don’t know what to compare to.’ _

“Just tell me about it.”

_ ‘I can smell you, I can tell you’re not quite human. I can smell what you ate, where you’ve been, if you’re healthy.’ _

“Then we’re not so different.” His smirk crept into his voice. “What do I smell like to you?”

_ ‘Preening much?’ _

“I wanna know.”

The surface was disturbed by ripples, Kurosaki’s tail almost breaching the surface while he swam in thoughtful spirals.  _ ‘Hmm...It’s hard to say. I don’t have a name for some of the things I notice. I just know it’s...well,  _ **_you_ ** _. I recognize the scent of steel from your weapon, your jacket, the saltwater that sunk into your boots. There’s definitely something to it that tells me you’re a predator. It’s the lack of umm green smell.’ _

“Green?”

_ ‘Look, you won’t know the word I know. Your smell is sharper than that. Frankly. you stink.’ _

“Hey!”

Kurosaki’s laughter bounced around his head, and he smoothed over whatever offense he’d dished out with far too much ease.  _ ‘You’re hard to ignore, Grimmjow. Your scent demands as much of my attention as you do.’ _

Grimmjow’s ego was sufficiently stroked knowing that little fact, but he still wasn’t sure if it was entirely a good thing.

_ ‘It was always hard to relax around you.’ _

“Is that a bad thing?”

There was a pause.  _ ‘No. Not anymore.’ _

For a moment, Grimmjow was going to let it slide, unsure he wanted to hear his fears spoken back to him. “It used to be?”

_ ‘You scared me for a while.’ _

A scowl settled on Grimmjow’s face. “For how long?”

_ ‘Since we left the tavern.’ _

Grimmjow’s eyes tracked Kurosaki’s movement and asked a question he thought already knew the answer to. “What did you think I’d do?”

_ ‘Dunno. I wasn’t sure. I’m not used to being at someone’s mercy.’ _

“It shows,” Grimmjow muttered. And someone as strong as Kurosaki wouldn’t need to be afraid. That cold fear that crawled up his spine when he first jumped into the water with him was as close to understanding as he could get. He couldn’t imagine suddenly being defenseless and out of his element; he’d fucking hate it. It was a miracle Kurosaki trusted him as much as he had. 

Grimmjow asked, “What changed your mind?” The silence stretched long enough that he prodded. “Tell me.”

_ ‘Understanding just how much you sacrificed.’ _

Stilling, Grimmjow wasn’t expecting to have anything to do with it. Kurosaki spoke like he knew, but how could he? Shock was replaced with anger, lips curling into a snarl. “Pesche.  _ Motherfucker _ , I’ll kill him. What did he tell you?”

_ ‘Not as much as I hoped.’ _

Grimmjow leaned forward, throwing a stick at Kurosaki’s shadowy silhouette. “It’s my business!” 

The stick bounced on the surface, harmlessly floating above his target. Kurosaki was shockingly calm. _ ‘You’re a secretive man, it’s hard to get close to you.’ _

“I fucked you last night, it ain’t that hard.”

Disappointment was thick in Kurosaki’s voice. ‘I still don’t know your real name, I don’t know much about you at all.’

“Nobody does,” Grimmjow shot back. He sensed heavier disappointment in the lack of response, or his words had stung more than he thought they would. He shouted bitterly, “You don’t need to know, we’ll be at the ocean soon enough, and then you’ll be gone.”

No response.

Mood souring, Grimmjow sought a task, anything to distract him from feelings he had no right to have. He pulled a needle and thread from the saddlebags and sat back down to patch his torn shirt. Hunched over it the sun, he knew he was likely to burn, and it was nothing his aether couldn’t fix, but it still wasn’t comfortable.

Sewing his shirt back into one piece was a double-edged sword. The reason it was ripped in the first place was sulking somewhere in the river before him, and it hung over his thoughts, thicker than the climbing humidity and heat.

The silence between them was uncomfortable, but just as he was considering breaking it, he heard the telltale sound of footsteps crunching over stones. Looking up from his work, Grimmjow tensed, but didn’t get up. Luckily for him, the man just seemed to be out for a walk, given he carried just about nothing on him. 

He gave Grimmjow a curious once over, nodded, and went along his way. If an old man could take a casual stroll down the beach, they must be closer to town than he thought. They were probably lucky no one saw them...unless they had?

Paranoia could be useful, but this was bordering on irrational panic. Stick to the plan, and it would be fine. 

The man didn’t come back and Grimmjow finished with his shirt, stabbing himself more than once in angry carelessness. He left his shirt folded on the shore, placing the needle and thread back into a small pouch, and moved to the water. Washing sweat from his face and the back of his neck, he stayed crouched at the water’s edge, checking to be sure they were alone.

“Fish.”

_ ‘I’m listening.’  _

His tone was distant, merely reassurance that Grimmjow wasn’t talking to no one.

“It’s a habit.”

_ ‘What is?’ _

“Keeping to myself. Don’t mean anything by it.” There was no response, and Grimmjow ground his teeth, feeling insane for talking to the surface of a lake. A dragonfly flitted by, a fish lazily swimming in the shallows, and the waters were smooth as glass. “ _ Fish _ .”

_ ‘Give me something real.’ _

“I don’t understand.”

_ ‘If I die hundreds of miles from my home, I don’t want it to be with a stranger.’ _

Now Grimmjow got it, and he felt stupid for not realizing it. Fear. And it was a fear he understood. It haunted him every day of his miserable life, a whisper in the back of his thoughts when he lay awake at night;  _ you will die alone _ . 

Grimmjow scrubbed his hand over his mouth, then sat his ass on the shore. “We’re not strangers.” He spoke too quietly, so he struggled to raise it. “My real name is Jaeger. But I’m not that person anymore, so I let it die.” It felt strange to say that name again, after so long.

_ ‘What was so bad about who you were?’ _

“I was weak...you’re the only person alive who knows that name. Keep it that way.”

_ ‘...okay.’  _

\---xxx---

The day sped by suffering the heat and making small talk. Both were anxious, and it turned out the riverside was somewhat busy in the daylight. He saw kids on the opposite bank, more fishermen, and a rowboat. Worried Kurosaki would be spotted by the man in the boat, he was forced to make small talk. 

It turned out to be a good idea, because he heard some fisherman had gone missing, to be careful out here on his lonesome...and word that strangers had come to town, dressed not unlike himself.

Night crept up on him faster than he hoped, crickets and frogs singing by a still river. He felt childish in his fear. Small. It had been years since he’d been afraid to face what was coming.

It was Kurosaki’s fault. 

The merman had pried his way into his heart and he didn’t want to lose him.

Wading into the water was enough to get Kurosaki’s attention. The shadow of his form swept through the shallows to his feet. Grimmjow offered him a hand, and the merman knew what he was after without words. Kurosaki’s arms hooked around his neck and they held each other. Water soaked through his shirt to his chest, cold, but had quickly warmed between their heat. Wet again.

He didn’t like being wet, but he was quickly growing accustomed to it. The memory of his hands gripping warm and wet skin was far stronger a memory than touching him when he was dry.

“Remember what I said, all the matters is that you get through that town.”

_ ‘You can tell me to leave you behind all you like, but that doesn’t mean I’ll listen.’ _

Grimmjow’s embrace tightened, punishing. “ _ Fish _ .”

He didn’t want this to be their goodbye. He turned his head, cheek pressed to his hair and sucked in a breath, breathing in Kurosaki’s scent. He might call him a fish, but he sure didn’t smell like one. He smelled like fresh water, heat...power. “If you get caught, you go down fighting.”

_ ‘Didn’t have to tell me that.’  _ Kurosaki’s fingers threaded through his hair, claws brushing the nape of his neck.  _ ‘I remember the plan. Don’t you dare die.’ _

Grimmjow huffed a laugh. “Didn’t make it into the Espada for nothin’. He slowly untangled himself, and Kurosaki sank back below the surface, hand brushing his ankle before he returned to deeper water. 

\---xxx---

It was a quiet walk into town, the horse’s reins loose around his hand. He’d been right in assuming the town was close at hand; the ambient sounds of humans at dusk masked his approach. The riverbank became a controlled path that connected to a cobblestone road, the river narrowing to wind through the town. The path took him uncomfortably far from the river at first, hand slowly tightening on the reins. 

_ ‘I’m still here.’  _ Kurosaki reassured him, voice still as strong as if he’d been in his arms. 

His sword was a comforting weight on his hip when he stepped foot in town, leading the horse over a wooden bridge. Hooves thudded across old wooden planks, and he cast a look over the side, wondering if he’d see Kurosaki. There was nothing but rushing, dark water. That was a little reassuring.

The streets weren’t empty, but it was a far cry from bustling midday crowds. He scanned the people anxiously for a familiar face, and saw none. That made him even more anxious.

_ ‘There’s a net,’ _ Kurosaki voice interrupted his fears.  _ ‘I can probably jump, but I’ll be seen.’ _

“ _ Shit _ .” If only he had a way to communicate back. Kurosaki was supposed to keep filling him in on what he saw and what was happening, but this would be less stressful if he had a way to talk back.

_ ‘I see a bridge above me. A dock a little ways ahead. I think they’re using the bridge to anchor the net.’  _ A pause.  _ ‘There’s two nets, one on each side of the bridge.’ _

Grimmjow steered his horse down a small alley, trying to follow the river as closely as possible. A small, walled path followed the river up to the main road, and there he saw the bridge Kurosaki must have seen. The sides of the river here were paved with stone for high waters, the thick stone worked bridge resting on thick stone pillars with elegantly carved railings. Lamp posts lined the sides, glowing brightly in the fading twilight. It was wide, clearly the pride of the town. 

Kurosaki was right, the nets that were tied down onto the railings were draped across the entire width of the river, all the way up the storm walls. This net looked a good deal stronger than what he’d cut off of Kurosaki the day before, and these holes were bigger. It wasn’t a net meant to catch fish, it was meant to catch Kurosaki, or at the very least, stop him.

Compared to the rest of the town, this bridge was suspiciously empty, and it reeked of a trap. There was nowhere to hide if he went out onto that bridge to cut the net free, and if Kurosaki showed himself, he’d be as good as dead if it was a trap. Which it most certainly was. 

Grimmjow dismounted in the dark, having a feeling he wasn’t going to be coming back for that horse. He pat it’s neck, scowling at the empty bridge, and left the horse in the alley. His grip on his sword was white-knuckled, and he willed himself to settle.

He was a fool to run headfirst into what he knew was a trap, but he didn’t see a way around it. There was no need for Aizen to search for him, all he had to do was stand between them and the ocean. He reminded himself this was inevitable, and what he stood to lose.

Striding from the shadows onto the bridge, Grimmjow drew his sword, stopping only when he was dead center in the bridge. “Alright, I’m here! Show yourself!” He wasn’t only being loud to be obnoxious, he wanted Kurosaki to hear it. 

_ ‘You’re fighting?! What was the point of going at night if you were doing to be an idiot anyway?’ _

Grimmjow waited, jaw clenched, adrenaline singing through his blood. From the shadows at the far end of the bridge, a man strode out to meet him. His stomach sank. Not an Espada after all. 

“Tousen,” he growled. 

The disgust on Tousen’s face was clear, even in the dark. “ _ Traitor _ .” He drew his own sword, violet aether lacing up his arm in response to his anger. The mask he wore over his eyes might lead people to believe he was weak, but Grimmjow knew that was far from true. Aizen kept him close for a reason; dangerous and loyal.

Grimmjow responded in kind, aether curling around him like blue fire. “Yeah, yeah,” he drawled. “Let’s get this over with.”

He probably wasn’t going to survive this, but all he had to do was be a distraction, and Kurosaki would be free. 

Launching into an attack, Grimmjow flung his sword out in an arc, aether lancing off the side. Tousen batted his power away with his own and moved shockingly fast. Tousen was on him, hammering him relentlessly for weakness, and Grimmjow struggled to react, let alone cover his openings. 

He locked swords, purple aether clashing against blue. Teeth clenched, Grimmjow strained to push back, boots sliding. The runoff of their power cut trenches into the stone, their aether now the only light on the bridge.

Metal grinding, Grimmjow shouted, “Go!”

All of his attention was on Tousen, he could only hope Kurosaki listened. 

Tousen pushed him back with a surge of power, throwing him off his feet. Grimmjow’s back hit the bridge with a grunt, rolling out of the way of Tousen’s sword before it skewered him. Scrambling to his feet, he deflected two more blows with the ringing of steel, slashing with his claws when his stance was shattered. 

The aether in his claws glanced off Tousen, tearing his cloak, but leaving him unscathed. Grimmjow felt the punch of his sword through his left shoulder, pain screaming through his arm. Tousen drove him back by his sword, until Grimmjow struck the side of the bridge with a gasp of pain. Tousen’s sword sank into the stone railing, flared bright with aether. Pinned like a fucking butterfly.

“What’re you waiting for!” Grimmjow snarled.

_ ‘They raised the other net, I can’t get through.’ _ Kind of him not to interrupt him when he was fighting, but that was bad news. He’d wasted his shot at a distraction.

Tousen hissed, “I won’t kill you yet. I’ll leave that pleasure for lord Aizen.”

Ignoring that threat, Grimmjow looked to the side, and saw the numeros there, fussing with the net. Kurosaki was trapped under the bridge. If he brought the bridge down, he’d risk killing him.  _ Fuck _ .

“Are you listening,  _ Grimmjow _ .”

“Shut...up,” Grimmjow grit. He snapped his sword arm up and Tousen caught his wrist, twisting painfully until he was forced to drop it.

“You’ve lost, sexta.” Tousen twisted his sword through his shoulder and pain flashed through his arm. Grimmjow bit back a scream, sweat cold on his skin. “We have the merman, we have you, don’t embarrass yourself any further.”

_ ‘Grimmjow!’ _

One more option, just one. 

Eyes narrowed in rage and pain, he pulled on his aether, pouring his power into the change. This wasn’t halfway, this was everything. His bones shifted, grinding against the sword in his shoulder. He screamed, the sound melting into a guttural roar as the shift overcame him. Vision bleeding blue from the overflow of aether, Grimmjow saw Tousen cautiously back away, ripping the sword from his shoulder. 

It hurt, everything hurt, and he fell to his hands and knees, muscles tearing as they strained against his uniform. He heard the shred of his clothes and he grew, packing on more muscle. His spine elongated with his tail, mouth overcrowded with teeth, and fur raced along his arms. The bones in his hands burned with aether, becoming taloned paws. 

Even on all fours, he was eye to eye with Tousen, pain dousing his instincts with rage and fear. It would be all too easy to forget himself.  _ Don’t forget Kurosaki. Don’t forget him.  _

Tousen was startled, sword raised defensively. Grimmjow snapped feline jaws, ears flattened, and bolted for the numeros posted by the net. Every step sent jolting pain through his shoulder and neck, a heavy limp slowing him down, but he was still massive and pissed off. He hit the closest in the chest, crushing their head in his jaws with a wet crunch of bone. That was enough for the second to flee in panic.

Whirling, Grimmjow saw Tousen was advancing on him again, sword alight with aether. Snapping his jaws around the net, Grimmjow’s own aether spiked, ripping the net apart in aether strengthened teeth. It shredded like paper under his aggression, sagging on the side closest to him. 

Kurosaki didn’t waste time, Grimmjow saw him jump, his shimmering silhouette elegant, even given the circumstances. He made it, only brushing the top of the net with his spines. The merman hit the other side with barely any splash at all. 

Free.  _ He was free. _

Tousen’s sword cut through his side, searing through his ribs. 

Grimmjow whirled, blinding lashing out with a pain-laced roar. Tousen blocked his paw, staggering under the weight of his blow, and Grimmjow took the opportunity and fled.

Launching off the side of the bridge, he hit the water with a loud and clumsy splash. The river was freezing, sloshing against the manufactured riverbank in waves. Shaking the water from his ears, he blinked back stinging water, and started swimming. 

He heard Tousen yell, heard lots of people yelling, and he swam as hard as he could, sides heaving.

_ ‘You’re losing a lot of blood.’ _

Grimmjow yowled in annoyance. He knew that, but he was currently stuck in a wet, stone hallway with nowhere to go. The small dock Kurosaki had seen now had Numeros, just waiting for him to swim close enough. No thank you.

He heard horse hooves behind them and cursed his luck. What good was it to escape if they were stuck in a predictable line with a predictable destination? 

Swimming fast wasn’t going to happen, his left arm stubbornly refused to work, and that left him struggling to keep his head above the water. His thoughts were fuzzy, but fear and adrenaline were blocking enough of the pain to keep moving. He thought he felt Kurosaki’s hand on his side, but he could have been imagining it. 

It wasn’t a long swim, not with the current in their favor, and the river picking up speed as it narrowed. Those hoofbeats pounded somewhere to the left, but the echo at the bottom of stone and steep buildings threw off his sense of direction.

They came to a widening in the river, stretching into a deep darkness that must have been the ocean and there was Tousen, dismounting from a horse. There were steps leading out from the water, small boats tied up nearby. 

The man stood there, drawing his sword, and waited. Fucker was going to either watch him drown or kill him on the shore.  _ How pathetic. _

Paddling in a desperate circle, Grimmjow searched for a way out. The other side of the river was a sheer wall, built into a seaside cliff; there was no way in hell he’d be able to drag his sorry ass up a cliff.

Water lapped over his muzzle and he snorted the water away, desperately paddling the water with a splayed paw. He made a distressed sound, and he felt Kurosaki beneath him, trying to lessen his burden. The merman’s shoulders were beneath his chest, saving him the effort of fighting to keep his head above water.

_ ‘You’re going to drown.’  _ He sounded so panicked, it must be true.

Tousen’s irritating voice drifted over the water. “Give up, beast. Your death will be swift if you give in.”

Grimmjow could feel Kurosaki’s growl through their contact. He had no doubt if he wasn’t fighting so hard to keep him from drowning, he’d be trying to kill the bastard himself.

Every second that passed was a struggle, he might bleed out before he drowned at that rate.

“What the fuck do we have here?”

A new voice, one he didn’t recognize. He didn’t bother to look, he was so tired.

_ ‘Keep swimming, asshole, or I swear I’ll kill you myself.’ _

The clash of swords, shouts, and the flare of aether, echoed over the sound of his own panting breath and gentle, lapping water. His entire world shrank to the water before his nose, pain, and Kurosaki’s touch.

_ ‘Grimmjow!’ _

He felt Kurosaki’s hands beneath him, sinking into his fur and fighting to keep him afloat. If those were his hands, then who was grabbing his neck? Suddenly there were many hands, pulling and grabbing, and he sank into unconsciousness.

  
  


\---xxx---

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll get a better kitty Grimm description next chapter, promise uvu


	10. Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo is on a boat now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied its 11 chapters now lmao Thank you Mire for beta reading this atrocity! I'll have you know my roommate wanted me to name this 'Boats and Hoes'

**Shinji**

\---xxx---

It would have been no loss to him if he’d managed to kill Tousen, but it hadn’t worked out that way. It took them a hot minute to figure out the big cat was the fleeing Espada, and that really big looking fish was what he’d stolen from Aizen. They needed to scram, so Tousen was left on the docks shouting at them.

Getting his boots back on the deck of his ship, Shinji felt extremely smug knowing he’d taken something Aizen wanted. It might not hurt the man to steal away his Espada, but it would make him look a fool for letting a single man escape. Or in this case, a single cat.

After a lot of heaving with ropes, the cat was sprawled out on the deck in a growing puddle of water and blood. “ _ Haachi _ ,” he called.

The giant of a man crouched beside the cat and the glow of his aether spread over it, quickly healing the worst of it.

“Will he live?”

Haachi didn’t look up from his charge, frowning in concentration. “His own aether was holding him together. He’s strong, I have hopes.” 

Hiyori let out an aggravated scream, throwing something overboard. Shinji didn’t see it, but he heard the splash. “Shinji, for fucks sake! Get in a rowboat and get down there, the fish won’t shut the fuck up!”

He looked at her, wide eyes and confused, and was drawn to the red dripping from her elbow. “It hurt you?”

“Stuck me with his claws and it burns like a motherfucker!” She picked up another sacrifice and Shinji pried it from her hand. “Explain in words, Hiyori.”

She opened her mouth and annoyance took over her features. She leaned back over the side and screamed, “AHHHH! I can’t think with you screaming at me! Shut up!” 

She looked back at Shinji and spat out the words. “It needs contact with blood, then it can speak. Now get down there and let it scream at you instead.”

Shinji looked over the side, spying the large and aggressive looking fan of a fin in the water below. “Hnnnn...tell it to wait until we’re further from shore.”

Hiyori looked aghast. “I’m not gonna put up with this for hours, Shinji.”

“Then tell it what it wants to hear.”

She leaned over the railing and shouted, “We’re running away! Wait a goddamned minute! The cat is fine, now shut up!”

Hiyori didn’t complain as much after that, leading Shinji to believe the fish did in fact, shut up.

He got the ship going in the right direction, and luckily no one cared enough to give chase. Satisfied he could afford a break to chat, he ordered a longboat down to the water, going alone. Nobody liked that idea, but he’d rather feed himself to the sharks than himself plus one crewmate.

The metal squeaked and squealed as they lowered the boat down to dark waves. That fin was still visible, several yards away, turning in agitated circles. The second the waves hollowly beat the underside of the longboat, the fins disappeared. 

A healthy fog settled on the still surface, leaving Shinji feeling a bit nervous. He drew a dagger. “I’m here, what do you want?” he called.

It was only a few seconds before he got his first good look. Bright gold eyes and a very human-looking face save for a pair of dark stripes appeared over the far end of the longboat. Those eyes glared at him from beneath long, fiery hair. “Fuck me” he breathed... “A mermaid?”

Fangs were bared in a throaty hiss, and the mermaid pulled itself up, the boat dipping precariously. That gave Shinji a good long look at a bare chest, and thickly muscled arms. “Oh...mer _ man. _ ..I see.”

The merman extended a hand to him, wicked black talons curling from each finger. Shinji frowned at him and said, “Mermaids are killers, I don’t think so.” The merman’s shoulders fell in frustration. He slipped back beneath the water, then pulled himself up again, with far less caution than before. Breathing, that made sense.

Extending a hand again, the merman waited at the far end of the boat. Shinji realized the merman wasn’t being cautious in his distance, he was being thoughtful. He wasn’t scared, not in the slightest. He was letting him choose, and he was shockingly patient.

Swearing, Shinji shifted, scooting over to the other end of the boat, knife firmly in hand. He took the merman’s hand in his own, surprised to find his palm warm. The merman slowly curled his fingers tight, talons breaking his skin. He felt a rush of aether that wasn’t his own, jerking his arm back on reflex. The merman let him go without a fuss, sinking back into the water.  _ ‘Don’t chase out my aether! I need it there to speak to you.’ _

The merman surfaced once he caught his breath, arms folded over the side of the boat. Shinji leaned forward slightly to see, getting a good look at the serpentine body disappearing beneath the waves. “And what do you have to say?”

‘I want on deck. I want to see him.’

“Are you mad? You need water to breathe, right? There’s not a lot of water up there. Unless you count the small pool the cat dragged on deck with him.”

The merman’s mouth twitched up into a fleeting smile. _ ‘I’m not crazy. I want on deck.’ _

“You’d throw yourself at my mercy? You don’t know the first thing about me. I could turn right back around and sell you to Aizen.”

_ ‘You wouldn’t. You hate him too. Don’t know why, but I feel it, you can’t lie to me.’  _ Golden eyes burned, daring him to deny the truth. It was eerie, as if he really knew. 

Shinji sat back and leaned forward on his knees, still nervous, but accepting the merman wasn’t going to drag him overboard. “Okay, so I let you on deck. Then what? You die.”

_ ‘That’s the plan.’ _

Shinji might have laughed in his face if he didn’t look so serious. He frowned. “What’s the catch?”

_ ‘I have to die to change. I can live on land for a short period, but it isn’t fun or pleasant.’ _

Shinji stopped toying with the knife, stopping the blade on his fingers in surprise. “That’s how you escaped. Makes a lot more sense now. Wouldn’t have guessed the big ass cat was the Espada they were looking for either, not if Aizen’s men hadn’t been crawling up your ass.”

The merman curled his lip in disgust, eyes flicking towards shore as if expecting to see them. 

“Got no reason to help you anymore, I’ve got what I’ve wanted already.”

The merman looked back, hands tightening into fists. His claws scraped lines into the lacquer of the boat, and he looked murderous. Shinji leaned back, cautious. 

_ ‘I can’t make you help me, I’ve got nothing to offer.’ _

Eyes narrowed, Shinji only grunted in affirmation. For the moment, the merman was just a burden, but that was subject to change. “...I’ve got nothing to lose, and neither do you.” He let out an annoyed sigh and shuffled to the far end of the boat. “Well, get in.”

The merman sank down into the water again, his hand on the side of the boat to anchor him. “The spines on my tail are poison, if you’re cut, you’ll probably die.” His eyes flicked up to the deck and back. “Tell them. You won’t have time to tie me down, just keep me out of the way. Dying isn’t pretty.”

Shinji could have argued the merman was interested in their well being so they didn’t come after his hide in revenge, but from the look in his eyes, he really didn’t want to hurt him or his crew. That was interesting.

“I’ll be back, we should move the waterlogged cat out of the way.”

The merman let go of the boat, and dove back beneath the water, swimming again in circles beside the hull. 

Committed to this plan, Shinji did what the merman asked, making sure the deck was clear and his crew was informed.

It took four of them to drag the cat to the other side of the boat, but it would be a waste to drag his ass all the way to the deck just for him to get poisoned by accident.

It was only when the merman dragged himself into the longboat that he realized why he’d been so insistent on caution; the thing was long, and those spines looked far bigger up close. He was essentially a massive snake, if any of them got hit with that tail they’d be down for the count.

Dragging the merman over the banister onto the deck in an awkward hug, Shinji did the smart thing and got as far away as he could the moment he was on deck. 

The merman was right, it wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t quick. It turned his stomach to watch something like that die, but beneath that feeling was a flicker of fear. The deck was scored with claw marks, and that tail had dented iron as the merman’s body spasmed in death.

He had to see the change to believe it actually happened. Red aether crawled over his skin, almost eating him, his form melting away like foam, fizzing out on the deck in dying arcs. 

Then merman didn’t look so fishlike anymore—he looked human, legs and all. He rolled over, coughing up a lungful of water, and gasped for breath. Even at a distance, it was easy to see how much he shivered and trembled. Before he’d looked healthy, but now he just looked sick. It seemed this change took more than pain as its price, he wasn’t going to be a threat to anybody for a long time. 

Shrugging out of his coat, Shinji crossed the deck to drape it over his shoulders. Even human, he wasn’t necessarily small, but he discovered when he reached to help him up, he was shockingly heavy. “Kensei! Gimme a hand.”

“Pick him up yourself,” Kensei muttered, but he was on his way over. The now-human merman eyed them both warily, arm around Shinji’s shoulders. Kensei got his arms under him and he swore. “Christ, he’s heavier than he looks.”

The merman scoffed. _ ‘Weaklings.’ _

Kensei readjusted his grip, muscles straining, and gave the merman a look. “Is he talkin’ shit?”

“Of course he is,” Shinji muttered. Take him to the cat.”

Kensei got him to the other side of the ship, setting him down with more grace than he probably had to, and Shinji followed, leaning on the mast behind them. “You look like death. Need anything?”

The merman pulled the coat around his shoulders and curled up against the cat’s side, tangled orange hair bunched up around the collar of the jacket. _ ‘Nothing you can give me.’  _ He ran his hand through white fur with a tenderness that  _ hadn’t _ been in the reports.

“What’s your name?” Shinji asked.

A shudder rocked his frame and he answered, _ ‘Ichigo.’ _

“Ichigo...I’m Shinji.” 

\---xxx---

**Kurosaki Ichigo**

\---xxx---

He wasn’t going to question why these people were saving Grimmjow’s life, and at that moment he couldn’t give a single fuck if they were trustworthy. He wanted Grimmjow alive, and they were willing to do that. 

They’d taken him out of sight onto an even larger boat, and that just wasn’t acceptable. It was too soon to make that change, he could feel it, but he couldn’t leave Grimmjow alone. He wouldn’t die if he made the change, but he wouldn’t be happy either.

Lying on the deck next to him, he felt like death, but he also felt it was worth it.

The crew left him alone, even if he sometimes felt their eyes on him. The sun dried his hair and soothed aching, torn muscles. Sleeping on a wooden deck was less than comfortable, but he wasn’t going to leave Grimmjow’s side. 

They’d healed him as well as anyone could have, and now the rest was up to Grimmjow. A whole day and night, and the cat did nothing but breathe, Ichigo didn’t budge from his side. 

He’d never seen something like Grimmjow before, but judging from other’s reaction to him, his size was unusual. 

His fur was soft and white, with faint stripes running along his flanks that darkened near his face, outlining the shape of his eyes in sharp streaks. His ears weren’t so different from what he’d seen before, but now they were black tipped, tufts curling from the tips of them. The stripes on his tail turned the tip pure black, the same with his massive paws. Even relaxed and asleep, Ichigo could see sharp claws poking from between fuzzy black toes. 

In this form he was sleek, and built like a battering ram. While he might look different, his scent was the same, and he still made him feel safe. His fur was warm beneath his cheek, his side rising and falling with steady breaths.

It was only once night fell on the second day that he felt strong enough to sit up. His entire body ached and his skin buzzed with sensation, prickling like needles, but he wasn’t shaking anymore.

Shinji finally came back, Ichigo recognized the thud of his boots on the deck before he turned. “Brought you something to wear.” 

The blonde had long, pin straight hair drawn back into a tail, the straight edge of his bangs cut just above his eyes. How he managed to keep his hair so straight on the sea was baffling to Ichigo. He was still without a coat, since it was currently draped over his shoulders, and he looked slight, unthreatening, but Ichigo couldn’t shake the feeling he was dangerous.

Ichigo turned back to Grimmjow, feeling that despite how much he hated clothes, he was supposed to be grateful _. 'Thanks.' _

“You might not be human, but you look like you need sleep. Could probably stand to eat too. He isn’t going anywhere.”

_ 'Why do you care?' _ He was too tired for it to come out spiteful, he just sounded weary. 

“You’re on my ship, you’re my responsibility.”

Ichigo glared up at him and Shinji crouched beside him, meeting his glare head on. “ _ Clothes _ .”

It really wasn’t that much to ask of him. Ichigo shouldered off the borrowed coat and reached for the shirt, sluggishly pulling it over his head. He frowned at the pants with a blush and hissed.  _ 'Hate pants.' _

“Well that’s too bad.” It took some awkward maneuvering, but he helped him get the pants on, pride be damned. Ichigo ended up half in his lap, head on his shoulder, with Shinji’s hands between the pants and his thighs. It was a little more intimate than either of them were happy with. 

Pants on and mortification over with, Ichigo crossed his legs and sat next to Grimmjow again, close enough for his legs to touch. 

Shinji dropped the coat back over his shoulders. “What do you eat?”

_ ‘Fish.’ _

“Alright. Sleep, when you wake up you’ll eat.” He turned and left him, muttering, “Not gonna watch you die twice.”

He didn’t think he’d die, but he did have a pounding headache. Before Shinji had fully wandered off, Ichigo added,  _ ‘I’m really thirsty.’ _

“Fish and water. At least your demands are simple.”

The night dragged on and Ichigo didn’t want to sleep, but he still found himself curled up against Grimmjow’s side, blinking back blazing sunshine. He must have been asleep for hours, well into the day, and Grimmjow still hadn’t woken up. He could feel his heartbeat, steady and strong, so he could only hope it was the change itself that had exhausted him so thoroughly.

It didn’t take the crew very long to realize he was awake, and as promised, they brought him water and fish. A small girl with green hair kept hovering, watching them from the rigging, but she didn’t try to talk, and Ichigo couldn’t get a read on her feelings.

It was uncomfortable being on a boat with strangers, dangerous strangers no less, but so far they’d been accommodating, which was more than he could expect. 

He devoured the small pile of food Shinji left him, his stomach upset, but not quite turning. 

Energy rising with sleep and food, Ichigo stretched out cramped legs with a wince, leaning on the railing to watch the waves. It was hot, but at least on the water the wind was strong, and it brought with it some relief. 

Lost in his thoughts, it took him a moment to realize Grimmjow had stirred. Ichigo turned, wide eyes locked on blue.  _ ‘You’re awake!’ _

Grimmjow had sat up, fixing him with a glare that felt no different than if he’d been in his human body. His eyes shifted from his face to his legs and he huffed, baring his teeth.

Of course he wouldn’t like that he’d changed so soon.  _ ‘I had to.’ _

Grimmjow snorted in disbelief, ears flicking back. Despite his annoyance, Ichigo saw relief. He turned his head, licking his shoulder to smooth flat, ruffled fur. Ichigo realized most of that must have been his fault. Grimmjow paused, sniffing his own fur, and looked back at him with dry accusation.   
  
Ichigo shifted on his feet and defended,  _ ‘I was worried about you.’ _

Grimmjow struggled to stand, legs shaking as he slowly got his feet underneath himself, but he managed. That put him at eye level, absolutely dwarfing him, and Ichigo was struck again by how massive he was. 

Grimmjow closed the small distance between them, dropping his head to press it solidly to his chest. Ichigo folded over him, wrapping his arms around his head and dropping his cheek to the soft fur on the back of his neck. Grimmjow let out a satisfied huff, a rumbling growl trembling between them.

Ichigo was content to stand there for as long as they both were able, but Shinji’s approach had Grimmjow swinging his head around, ears flattened in distrust. 

_ ‘They saved your life.’  _ Ichigo shared, _ ‘They didn’t tell me why, but they hate Aizen. I think it’s safe to assume that’s reason enough.’ _

Grimmjow wasn’t outwardly aggressive, well, no more than usual, but he didn’t look happy.

Shinji kept at a distance, just as wary as Grimmjow, and leaned against the far railing. “Now that you’re among the living, we can have a proper introduction.” He gave the cat a mock half-salute. “ _ Grimmjow _ . I’m Shinji, and this is my ship. I don’t expect the merman to understand or be able to answer my questions, but I’m not going to give you that pass. How long are you gonna be big and furry?”

Grimmjow sat, head dipped in thought. A moment passed before he looked to Ichigo. He shook his head until Ichigo guessed right, nodding slowly.

Ichigo answered for him. “No more than a day.”

Shinji nodded and folded his arms. “Would Aizen care enough to give chase?”

The cat shook its head, slowly and carefully enough that Ichigo suspected a headache. 

“Good. Until then, keep on deck. I hope you like fish.”

Having already lost interest, Grimmjow’s nose hovered near Ichigo’s leg, sniffing. The cat glared at Shinji, teeth bared, and Ichigo felt his cheeks grow hot. 

“What’s his problem?” Shinji asked.

_ ‘He knows you helped me put on pants.’  _

The blonde rolled his eyes. “I ain’t interested in yer boy toy.” He waved him off and straightened, pausing to warn. “Be nice to my crew, Espada.” 

He left them alone on their portion of the deck, and Grimmjow lost some of his bluster. He sagged, jaws parting to pant, and Ichigo reached out to lay his hand on his side. It was several moments more before Grimmjow had the energy to get back on his feet and move to the shade. He laid down and Ichigo joined him, sitting down between his paws to lie on his side. 

Grimmjow seemed to like that, shifting to better accommodate him, which Ichigo found absurd. Grimmjow was massive, he didn’t need to move around for Ichigo to find a spot to put himself.

The rest of the day was spent dozing in companionable silence and idly watching the crew. Not that his fears for Grimmjow had collapsed, there was nothing left to do but see to his own needs. Which meant resting, something both of them didn’t want to do.

It was well into the night when Grimmjow gathered himself up and went to drink from the bucket Shinji had brought them. He got near the bottom of it and paused, raising a dripping muzzle to look at Ichigo. Ichigo grimaced and said, ‘I’ll pass, you can have it.’

He killed off the bucket of water and started a lap around the boat. Ichigo noticed he had a slight limp, and he could only hope it wasn’t permanent. Pausing in his first lap to butt his head up against Ichigo’s shoulder, he went again, then again, pausing in each lap to share some concern and attention for Ichigo. 

By the time he stopped in his laps, he was breathing a little harder, and looking all the more annoyed about it. He nosed Ichigo’s legs with his muzzle in question, and Ichigo sighed.  _ ‘Hurts, but I’ll live.’ _

A gust of hot breath warmed his thigh, and from the look on Grimmjow’s face, the second he could speak, he was going to hear an earful about it.  _ ‘Yeah, yeah. What’s a little pain as long as I’m not stuck in the ocean while you’re on deck dying.’ _

Grimmjow growled at him, nudging him hard with his nose.

_ ‘You’re not allowed to be mad, you didn’t tell me you could change into a giant cat!’ _ He shoved him in the shoulder and Grimmjow didn’t budge. Not only was he huge, but he was feeling extra pathetic. Instead, Grimmjow butted him in the chest, knocking him on his back.

Back hitting the deck with a grunt, Ichigo sighed and didn’t get up.  _ ‘Mean.’ _

He could have sworn the cat laughed at him. Grimmjow rasped a rough tongue over his forehead, licking the hair away from his face, and Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut and let him. Lying there, Ichigo said,  _ ‘I really didn’t think I’d see the ocean again.’ _

Grimmjow stopped, and Ichigo looked up at him. The cat looked disappointed, but more than anything it looked like Grimmjow had something to say. 

_ ‘I know it’s not fair when you can’t answer. I just wanted to say thanks.’ _ Thank you felt like too simple a word for how he felt. It wasn’t just gratitude, but relief so deep it ached. Grimmjow pinned him to the deck with the weight of his head, draping a heavy paw over his legs.  _ ‘No more sacrifices for me. No more, Grimmjow.’ _

The cat growled, his opinion more than spoken for on that front, but Ichigo wasn’t going to change his mind. He wasn’t going to watch someone he loved suffer for him again. He raked his claws over Grimmjow’s head, comfortable with that heavy weight.

Eventually, Grimmjow got up, nosing him awake, warm and wet against his cheek. The sky was brightening with sunrise, and the deck was still empty. Ichigo realized quickly why he’d been woken.  _ ‘Now? You’re sure?’ _

The cat bobbed its head in a nod, and while Ichigo wasn’t convinced, he knew Grimmjow was just as stubborn as he was. If anything, he was rushing it because he didn’t want a crowd.

The shift for Grimmjow was similar to his own, but seemed far more painful. Aether raced over his body, ripping him apart from the inside. His scream was soundless, yet Ichigo could feel the agony rolling off him in waves. It was relatively quick, but it looked like hell. When his aether finally rolled off of him, he was human again, curled in a ball on his side.

It felt sickening to see Grimmjow so weak. He wasn’t supposed to be naked and shivering on some stranger's deck. 

Shrugging out of the coat Shinji had given him, Ichigo draped it over Grimmjow’s shoulders and collapsed next to him, his hand on his shoulder.  _ ‘Are you okay?’ _

“Aether shock,” he grit out.

With how much aether it took to shift, that wasn’t surprising, but that was nearly the best case scenario. It meant this wouldn’t last. 

The flood of aether woke the crew, which annoyed him. More than anything, Ichigo wanted to be alone with Grimmjow. He couldn’t talk to anyone but Shinji, so their sudden presence on deck earned them his teeth and a hiss, his own aether flaring. 

Shinji pushed another blonde out of the way and barked, “Stop gawking! Since you’re all awake, hop to it.” 

They scattered with grumbled complaints, and Shinji strode up to the pair without fear. “He’ll live?”

Ichigo wasn’t so sure how he felt about Shinji’s lack of fear. He almost preferred him when he was cautious.  _ ‘Yes.’ _

“Fuck...off,” Grimmjow spat. 

“I’m going to ignore that,” Shinji said, “On account that I’ve seen men hit with lightning that look better than you.” He looked to Ichigo. “I’ll bring him something to wear. When he can get up, we’re having that talk.”

Aether sparked across Grimmjow skin and he flinched, muscles seizing. Shinji hesitated. “Aether shock?” he asked. 

_ ‘Yes.’ _

A thoughtful look crossed Shinji’s face as he left, and Ichigo was curled around Grimmjow, a hand to his chest, more than happy to absorb what little aether escaped his skin. 

True to his word, Shinji came back, dropping a stack of clothes and some boots. He crouched by Grimmjow’s head and held a tube out to him. It had a lot of extra pieces to it, and a small gauge on the side. “Do you know what this is?”

“Battery,” Grimmjow said.

“Close enough. It’ll absorb your excess aether. Grab here.” The metal at one end was colored differently, with several bolts holding it together. Grimmjow snatched it, and as Shinji said, it lit up in brilliant blue, siphoning off the power Grimmjow couldn’t contain.

It was a fast process, and Grimmjow’s relief was immediate. He dropped the rod with a clatter, panting, sweat bright on his skin. “What are you doin...with something like that?” Grimmjow asked.

“Get dressed, then we’ll talk.” Shinji picked up the rod from the other end, then turned heel back to his quarters.

Slowly sitting up, Grimmjow winced, pulling the coat tighter around him with one hand, only to reach back for Ichigo with the other. He reeled him in by the back of the neck and kissed him roughly. It was contact, sloppy and uncomfortable, but Ichigo’s heart flipped in joy. He broke away, breathing hard and smiled. “I didn’t think I’d get to do that again.” His fingers slipped from his hair, brushing beneath his jaw as he pulled away. “Chin up, Kurosaki.”

Ichigo let out a breath, struggling not to smile back. It really was something of a miracle that they were both alive at all. He watched Grimmjow hastily get dressed, not jealous at all that he could put pants on by himself. He noticed one of the girls was staring, shamelessly getting a good look at his crotch.  _ ‘She’s staring at you.’ _

“So what?” He smirked at him from over his shoulder. “Jealous?”

_ ‘Yes!’ _

Grimmjow chuckled, leaving the shirt unbuttoned to pull the jacket on over top of it. He looked dashing, like he belonged, whereas Ichigo felt like an imposter in clothes annoyingly too big. Ichigo stood beside him, his legs protesting that decision. His hair blew into his face, wilder when it dried from seawater, and Grimmjow pushed it back without thinking. “You look like you’re in pain, you’re okay?”

Ichigo managed a smile.  _ ‘Better than I was.’  _

Grimmjow didn’t look convinced, but he let it go. “Let’s go see what the captain wants.” Despite nearly dying, Grimmjow looked leagues better than he did. He recovered remarkably fast, but he was also good at hiding pain. He could fake being back to normal, but Ichigo could feel his stress.

He followed Grimmjow to Shinji’s quarters. The blonde frowned and threw down the paper he’d been reading as they approached the open door. “No, don’t knock,” he drawled, ”come in, make yourself at home.”

“Thanks,” Grimmjow snapped. 

He steered Ichigo for the only other chair and sat him down in it. Ichigo tried to get up, but damn him, his weight on his shoulders had his legs buckling and he was stuck.  _ ‘Asshole.’ _

“I owe you, I get it. What do you want?”

“At the moment? Information.”

Grimmjow deadpanned. “On Aizen.”

Shinji smiled. “Of course. You were an Espada for years.”

“You think he trusted me with shit?”

Shinji shifted to sit at his desk, hands folded in his lap. “Oh, I know he’s clever, but you know places, names, resources.”

The exchange of information turned out to be rather boring. Ichigo didn’t have the slightest clue what they were talking about. His knowledge of Aizen was limited to what he’d seen through warped glass. If it was up to him, he’d never see Aizen again, and if he could help it, he never wanted to think about him either. 

Fussing with the hem of his own shirt, Ichigo drifted in and out of the conversation, catching names here and there, but not caring what was said. It was even less interesting when he was so preoccupied in his own private hell. He’d moved on to playing with the stuff on Shinji’s desk when his attention was sought. “Ichigo.”

He looked up at Shinji, dropping the paperweight to sit back in the chair. 

“Are you okay? You look awful, no offense.”

Grimmjow growled, “He wasn’t supposed to change again so soon.”

Curling his lip in a snarl Ichigo folded his arms.  _ ‘I’m fine.’ _

Shinji didn’t look any closer to believing him than Grimmjow did. He waved his hand and said, “Tell me about this. I don’t know shit about mermaids and we’re a week from port.”

_ ‘I’m okay, but if I try to change back again so soon, I think I really will die. I can’t stay like this forever. Eventually, I’ll have to make the change.’ _

“If you don’t?” Shinji asked.

Distress crossed Ichigo’s face before he could hide it. _ ‘I’m not sure, but I know I’ll be in pain.’  _

Ichigo could feel Grimmjow’s mounting aggravation when he asked, “Can you take him home?”

“Where is home?” Shinji asked.

Both men looked at Ichigo, and he could do nothing but extend an arm and point.

“That tells me nothing.”

_ ‘Far away. That way.’ _

Shinji rubbed his temple and frowned at him, realizing that was all he was going to get. He looked up at Grimmjow. “One of you is dead weight, and you’re still days away from being useful. What can you offer me?”

“I can work a ship.”

“I have a crew,” Shinji shot back.

_ ‘You have me,' _ Ichigo blurted.  _ ‘I can’t work, but I have skills. Surely they’re worth  _ something _.” _

Shinji leaned forward. “Enlighten me.”

Ichigo started to hum, forcing all of his influence into a soft song. Shinji blanched and leaned away. “What is that?”

Grimmjow wrapped his arms around him, his nose in his hair. “You lied to me back then, when you sang to me. It was never this strong.”

Wrapping his hand around Grimmjow’s arm, Ichigo felt no regret.  _ ‘Because I like you.’  _

It was Grimmjow that answered Shinji. “Turns out Fish is half siren. Can get your attention, lower your guard.”

Ichigo stopped humming, and Shinji was flushed, rattled. Ichigo felt a streak of pride knowing he’d managed to do that, even while he was weak.  _ ‘I can sense feelings, my claws are poison. I have a lot of aether.’ _

Grimmjow added, “Lots of aether. Aizen had a suppression collar on him. They were going to use him as an aether generator.”

“What class of aether?” Shinji asked.

“Gotta be S,” Grimmjow answered.

_ ‘What’s that mean?’ _

“Aether is ranked based on potency. Had yours in me for a while now, can’t mistake it.”

Shinji said, “You’re both weak, you’d trust me with that information?”

Grimmjow slowly unwrapped his arms from his chest and straightened. “Don’t have a silver to my name, I don’t really have a choice.”

Ichigo spoke to Grimmjow alone.  _ ‘I don’t sense any ill intent.’ _ He didn’t get the feeling Shinji wanted to hurt them, and he hadn’t since the moment he spoke to him. He definitely would if he had to, there was no doubt, but for now, they were safe. 

Shinji reached into his desk, rummaging, and pulled out a pen looking object. He tossed it, and Ichigo’s hand snapped up to catch it.  _ ‘What’s this?’ _

“Put some aether into it. It’ll test your grade.”

Grimmjow muttered, “How do you have all this shit?”

“Perks of my last job,” Shinji said. 

Slowly filtering his aether into something so tiny went well given how weak he was. A little bar on the side lit up, and Ichigo handed it back, assuming that’s all that was needed. Shinji lips tightened into a thin line. “No wonder Aizen wanted you.”

“Fucker didn’t know what he had,” Grimmjow snarled. A blush burned Ichigo’s ears, feeling like a lovestruck girl with how happy such an offhanded comment could make him.

Shinji dropped the small rod on his desk with a frustrated sigh. “I can’t smuggle triple S without raising suspicion.”

“Triple? Really?” Grimmjow reached for the rod and squinted at it. “Huh.” He frowned. “So...mix it with mine.”

Shinji narrowed his eyes. “ _ Mix it _ , like it’s so easy. Does this look like a lab to you?”

Ichigo shifted and asked,  _ ‘So...it’s useless?’ _ He felt like a burden, and his stupid, useless body wouldn’t even let him help. His whole body was different, no callouses, no scars, he was as good as a child. 

He wasn’t sure if he was pissed off, or upset, but he felt Shinji’s eyes on him as well as Grimmjow’s, and he didn’t like how transparent his feelings were.

“Look,” Shinji began. “I can’t draw unwanted attention. You don’t jump from peddling silver to diamonds overnight without raising some eyebrows. ”

With a snarl, Grimmjow slapped his hand down on the desk. “It’s all we got!”

“I’m well aware!”

“So we’re too rich?! We need to get-” Grimmjow gestured vaguely in the direction Ichigo had indicated. “That way.”

“Very articulate,” Shinji said blandly. “If you want to lead Aizen and a handful of opportunistic gangs and poachers to your doorstep,  _ be my guest _ !”

Ichigo stood abruptly and all but tripped towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Grimmjow asked.

Ichigo didn’t give him an answer, bursting through the door to throw up over the side of the ship. It was only a moment before Grimmjow was at his side, pulling his hair back to hold it in a bunch while he emptied his stomach. His throat burned with bile, flipping in turmoil with undue stress. 

The waves slapped the sides of the ship, foam swirling, the depths yawning beneath his feet, and it took all of his willpower not to jump overboard.

A few unpleasant moments later and he slumped against the railing, sliding down until he hit the deck, arms pressed to his aching head. 

“Are you-”

_ 'Useless,' _ Ichigo hissed.

“You need to rest.”

_ ' _ Useless _. Ever since I got dumped in that tank.  _ Fucking useless _.' _

“You’re not useless! You’re not. Nobody can be strong all the time.” Grimmjow’s hands pulled at his arms, wrenching them away from his face. Ichigo felt vulnerable, facing those shocking blue eyes. They were narrowed in concern and frustration, and Ichigo realized he wasn’t the only one feeling useless. “You’re not weak, you’re  _ sick _ . You  _ died _ more than 3 times in the last few days.”

Letting out a shaking breath, Ichigo gently tugged his arm free and pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead.  _ 'Fine…' _

The man growled, unconvinced, and straightened. Moments later, he came back, carefully scooping him up in his arms, holding him from the bend of legs and his shoulders. He went slowly, but it didn’t feel slow enough, his stomach lurching. He didn’t have the energy left to argue or ask questions, but he could hear Grimmjow’s heart racing in his chest, he could feel the sting of his fear in the back of his nose. He was afraid. 

He was set down on something soft, Grimmjow’s arm still propped behind his shoulders. His skin felt sticky with sweat, but he didn’t feel hot either, he almost felt too cold. Perhaps Grimmjow was right to be afraid. 

Even the dark of the room stabbed into his brain and he kept his eyes squeezed shut. Grimmjow demanded, “Don’t fall asleep on me just yet, fish. You gotta tell me what you need.”

Blinking at the room, Ichigo realized they were back in Shinji’s quarters.  _ ‘Water.’ _

“Kurosaki, elaborate.”

_ ‘Thirsty. Want to feel the water on my skin...need it.’ _ It was more than yearning, it was an aching need that felt like pure punishment.

Grimmjow was snapping in front of his nose, pressing a glass into his hand. “Wake up. Drink.” 

It felt wildly pathetic to need help for something so basic, but once he started drinking, he couldn’t stop. Several glasses ended that animal desperation, and Grimmjow let him sink back into sleep.

He was dragged from sleep again when he felt Grimmjow’s hands on his skin pulling at his clothes. Those hands could belong to no one but Grimmjow. The calloused pads of his fingers never lingered. He was rough, yet careful, the bony wave of his knuckles brushing his lower stomach, then stripping those twice damned pants off.

He was lifted again, and this time he wasn’t set on a bed, but lowered into water. A groan fled his lips, cool water soothing over his skin in a caress. He felt Grimmjow’s hands on his skin, keeping his head above water. His touch was rhythmic, slowly stroking the top of his head, and he collapsed into sleep once again.

\---xxx---

**Grimmjow**

Kurosaki was a good liar. Knowing how close he’d been to collapse made him feel like a fool. He thought it was unpleasant turning himself into a cat, but the merman had been suffering a change that was more like a curse than a gift. He couldn’t stay on land, Grimmjow wouldn’t put him in this position ever again.

The blonde had been amiable enough to surrender his quarters to help, and Grimmjow was still unsure if he did so because he was kind, or because he stood to profit. Either way, he’d gotten Kurosaki a bed and a saltwater bath, and he wasn’t sure the reason mattered.

Throughout, Shinji just gave orders and silently watched, his stare unnerving, but Grimmjow could hardly tell him to fuck off when they were imposing on his ship, and his room.

Sitting on a chair by the wooden bath, Grimmjow held Kurosaki in a loose embrace, his back already aching from keeping still after being hunched over so long. 

Shinji broke the silence. “You love him.”

Grimmjow flinched, head snapping over to look at the man. “ _ What? _ ”

“The merman clearly loves  _ you _ , but I wasn’t sure about you, Grimmjow.” Shinji’s eyes slipped to Kurosaki. “The way you look at him, touch him. You don’t treat a mere companion like that.”

A sliver of fear wound around Grimmjow’s heart. It was one thing to willingly spill information, but something else entirely to have his greatest weakness picked out and thrown in his face. “What of it,” Grimmjow threatened.

Shinji’s eyes narrowed, leaning back in a squeaky chair. “Nothing...I’ve had my fill of tragedy.” Some of the tension smoothed out his shoulders and he let his head fall back, closing his eyes. “Relax, Espada. You and the merman have no more to fear from me or my crew than you did before.”

The water sloshed as he shifted his grip, hand raising to smoot Kurosaki’s hair back from his forehead. He looked too young when he was asleep, furrowed brows relaxed. “Why tell me?”

“I told you,” Shinji drawled. “I’ve had enough of tragedy. The merman can’t stay.”

“I know that,” Grimmjow hissed.

“I’m not done,” Shinji threw back. “ _ You _ can.” 

Grimmjow looked at him, waiting for more. 

Folding his hands on his lap, Shinji dropped his head to look at him, completely serious. “Join my crew. You’ve got nowhere to go, and you can see your merman whenever you choose.”

“I was an Espada. You really trust me that much?”

“No, I don’t,” Shinji said bluntly. “But...I trust that you need me. Desperation isn’t a strong foundation for loyalty…” his eyes slipped to Kurosaki again, “but love is.”

Grimmjow grunted, thinking as he stared down at the merman. 

The sun was setting behind Shinji, shining through orange and yellow cut glass and casting the room in amber. Ichigo looked crowned in gold, fiery reflection bright on the surface of the water. 

Grimmjow's fingers played with gold locks, silky soft in the water. He’d noticed the merman’s skin glowed faintly with aether, which was pretty, but he was fairly certain it was just Kurosaki’s body trying to hold itself together. 

“If…” He trailed off, struggling to commit. “If Kurosaki wants me nearby,  _ then _ I’ll choose.”

“Good,” Shinji said cheerfully. “When you aren’t taking care of him, you work.”

“Fine.”

“You report to everyone, but Kensei–the guy with white hair, lots of piercings–he’s your go-to.” The man stood and said, “I’ll be back later tonight. If you need help, ask Mashiro. She thinks you’re both interesting.”

They were left alone and Grimmjow wasn’t sure if he was grateful for that kindness or if it made him feel sick. He didn’t trust it, or his crew, but now Shinji knew Kurosaki was valuable. He could very well sell him and he wouldn’t be able to stop him. If he couldn’t trust kindness he could hope he could count on the man to want to keep Kurosaki’s aether for himself. It was a frustrating, hopeless cycle of paranoia, but there was little else to occupy his thoughts. 

The room slowly pitched into darkness, leaving his with the silver cast of his night sight. He was so distracted, he didn’t notice Kurosaki was awake, the merman’s eyes unfocused and weary.

“You’re awake.”

_ ‘I had a dream I was drowning.’ _

“That’s typically called a nightmare.”

_ ‘I wasn’t scared.’ _

Grimmjow sighed before he could stop himself. He couldn’t untangle what Kurosaki meant, but he remembered killing him, he couldn’t forget the feeling of his life slipping away beneath his hands. It was a sickening memory.

Kurosaki shifted in the water, resting his cheek on Grimmjow’s arm.  _ ‘It’s a strange feeling.’ _

“What is?”

_ ‘Being alone.’ _ Kurosaki lifted his hand to squeeze Grimmjow’s fingers, his grip weak.  _ 'I’m glad you’re here, I’d be dead already if you weren’t. But…' _

“I get it...as much as I can.” Grimmjow’s grip shifted to squeeze Kurosaki’s hand right back, his tone slipping into something uncontrolled. “You don’t belong here and it’s killing you.”

Kurosaki twisted to face him, reaching a dripping hand for his face.  _ ‘I don’t blame you, none of this is your fault.’ _

“Hard not to feel like it is. You’ve gotten worse since I’ve met you. Much worse.”

Amber eyes burned in the dark with a confidence Grimmjow couldn’t understand.  _ ‘I won’t die. I can’t, not when you brought me this far, not after what you did.’ _

“Dumbass, don’t live for  _ me _ .”

The merman smiled _. ‘Does the reason matter?’ _

“It does.”

His smile widened with a chiding huff.  _ ‘If you say so.’ _ His hand slid up to the nape of his neck, curling in his hair and he tugged.  _ ‘Now kiss me like you mean it. If I die, I’m not letting that pathetic excuse for a kiss be the last kiss I get.’ _

Grimmjow shifted on the chair so he could reach him, his back screaming in protest. “That’s rude, it was a perfectly serviceable kiss.”

_ ‘You get points for your lips touching mine.’ _

Hand slipping into damp, gold hair, he held Kurosaki still and started soft, the merman’s lips were soft and salty. He made up for his rushed and desperate kiss, slowly tasting the merman, uncaring of those sharpened teeth. Kurosaki seemed content to let him do as he pleased, and Grimmjow was fascinated by the tingling aether that simmered through their contact. 

Kurosaki pulled back first, panting, lips swollen.  _ ‘Stop, or we’re going to have a problem.’ _

“So what?”

_ ‘We’re not going to fuck around in Shinji’s quarters. _ ’

“Fuck him, why not?”

Kurosaki blushed, cheeks darkening.  _ ‘No! What if he comes back?’ _

Grimmjow made an irritated noise and sat back in the chair.

_ ‘Are you pouting?’ _

“Tsk,  _ no _ .” He folded his arms and tried to will his flaring arousal away. “You feeling any better?”

‘Yes, actually. The water helps.’

“How long before you can change back?”

Kurosaki leaned against the side of the tub, eyes scanning the room in thought, never lingering on any one thing _. ‘I think...I think I need to hold out as long as I can.’ _ He looked at his hand, still faintly glowing.  _ ‘The pull is strong, and it’s only been three days. It feels like obsession, and it’s only getting worse. But when I make that change, it uses up almost all of my aether, it leaves me weak, and I can’t be in open water when I’m defenseless.’ _

“Why not?” Grimmjow didn’t doubt he was right, but he wanted to know what was out there, swimming beneath his feet while he was blissfully unaware. 

_ ‘Other clans, leviathans, even sharks. There’s a lot out there that wants to kill or enslave me and it would be pretty stupid to get this far only to be eaten.’ _

“So how do we get around that?”

_ ‘Shallow waters, docks, humans. Not much will risk getting so close.’ _

“Shinji said it’s about a week until port. Can you wait that long?”

Kurosaki looked at him, concern clouding his face.  _ 'I think I have to.' _

Leaning forward on his knees, Grimmjow poked him in the forehead. “Don’t stress, Kurosaki. I’ll protect you.”

Wrinkling his nose, Kurosaki glared at him.  _ ‘Hate being weak.’ _

“It isn’t permanent. One day I’ll get to see you as you should be.” He leaned down, resting his arms on his knees and said, “The first time I saw you, I couldn’t shake how wrong it felt for something so beautiful to be collared like a  _ pet _ .” 

Shame flashed across Kurosaki’s face, and Grimmjow caught his chin before he could look away. “Don’t be ashamed for what they did to you. You’re a survivor, Kurosaki.”

_ ‘I don’t like you seeing me like this.’ _

“I don’t like to see it either. One day I’ll see you in your prime, but until then, trust me.”

Kurosaki’s brows furrowed.  _ ‘I do.’ _

“Then stop hiding your pain, trust me to help you.”

Kurosaki turned away, and Grimmjow slowly lowered his hand, feeling he’d lost.

_ ‘I’m trying.’ _

Swallowing the urge to snap back, Grimmjow pushed his anger aside, letting his instincts pick apart Kurosaki’s weaknesses. He was a pitiful sight, the merman didn’t need to be told how defenseless he was, and shouting at him wasn’t going to make him give in any faster. It would only make him more defensive. 

He let out a sharp breath, betraying his coiled anger, and Kurosaki noticed—read it in the tightening of his jaw. Grimmjow got up before he said something he’d regret, straightening his sore back and stretching out his tension. He wasn’t expecting Kurosaki to speak first. 

_ ‘Every day I spend with you it becomes more and more apparent that you’re stronger than I thought, and every day I’m trapped in this body the more overwhelming my instincts become. You’re not my kind, it’s easier to hide my weakness than be vulnerable around a predator.’  _ His words carried the weight of an apology.  _ ‘I know you won’t hurt me, but it’s getting difficult to convince my instincts that’s true.’  _

Kurosaki has still turned away, Grimmjow couldn’t read his expression and his tone was carefully distant. _ ‘Don’t let me near the sea. Not until it’s safe.’ _

That unsettled him more than any distance Kurosaki could put between them. “Why?” Grimmjow asked.

_ ‘Just don’t.’  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1more chapter + possible epilogue in the works uvu so close now


	11. Drowned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much Crypt for helping me remove spaces and fix shit Ilu so much ; A ;

\---xxx---

**Grimmjow**

The night was interrupted by Shinji’s return, and after some light argument over leaving Kurosaki, Grimmjow left after the merman pressured him to get some proper sleep. Shinji would be within earshot of Kurosaki if he needed anything, and the captain made sure he knew how unenthusiastic he was about sharing his quarters with a fish. And so, Grimmjow was sent below deck for the first time to claim a hammock. 

It was hell to sleep around strangers, but he wasn’t up to speed as much as he pretended he was, and a hammock was leagues more comfortable than sleeping on a wooden deck. He slept so deeply, it was into the day when he woke. He was surprised they let him sleep, and that he was so out of it he’d slept straight through the morning routines. While that bothered him, it wasn’t a courtesy he thought he’d be given. 

He was loaded with tasks the moment he found Kensei, and they were as shit as he expected. Scrub the desk, fix the sails, wash dishes; he hadn’t been so far down on the ladder since he was a kid. 

As irritating and depressing as it was to feel like he was starting from scratch, it kept him occupied and he didn’t have the energy left to spare on his anxieties. 

The only member of the crew that seemed to actively hate his guts was Hiyori, the rest merely watched him with distrust. It was always when they thought he wasn’t looking. A lingering stare, hushed conversations, or silence.

It could have been worse, they could have thrown him overboard, so he really had no complaints.

Two days slipped by and he only saw Kurosaki for an hour or two at best. They were keeping him busy and Kurosaki was sleeping a hell of a lot. The merman was looking simultaneously better, and worse. He was getting stronger, but he was more irritable, and Grimmjow saw the shadow of pain behind those eyes. They spoke, he talked about the crew and Kurosaki told him about his home, or how he felt. 

He told him stories about great whales and fights with sharks or neighboring clans. It was proof Kurosaki lived a completely different life, and proof he deserved better than to be reduced to a sickly pet in a wooden tub. He thought he caught the shame on Kurosaki’s face, and he didn’t know how to erase it. He loathed that look, and it spurred his determination.

One night, he startled Kurosaki with a touch on the back and to both of their shock, Kurosaki hissed at him. 

Neither wanted to talk about that, and Grimmjow was left worrying in silence. Kurosaki’s warning still rang in his mind, but the merman hadn’t brought it up again. He stopped talking about his dreams, but Grimmjow was sure they persisted.

The merman was slowly slipping from weak and weary to restless, eyes roaming and claws digging into the sides of that wooden tub. It worried him, but Kurosaki brushed him off, pulling away from his concern.

It was the third day when Shinji came for him on deck with little to no explanation and had him drop everything. 

He brought him to his cabin, and Kurosaki wasn’t in the water. He looked to Shinji and the man nodded to the back of the room. “Under the desk. He won’t respond to me.”

Crossing the room, Grimmjow cautiously circled the desk, boards creaking under borrowed boots. In the dusty gloom of the cabin, tucked in a dark corner, was the fiery curtain of Kurosaki’s hair, draped over his naked back. The merman was curled in a ball, knees to his chest, arms wrapped around his head. He was breathing fast, uneven. 

Grimmjow’s chest tightened and he crouched, one hand braced on the edge of the desk. “Kurosaki, talk to me.”

Kurosaki flinched, startled by his voice. He looked at him from beneath his arm, pupils blown black. Then his eyes flicked down, and dread settled in Grimmjow’s gut. 

Beneath a groaning wooden ship was a yawning deep. 

He was beginning to understand the merman. There were things Kurosaki didn’t intend to hide, but did all the same, by virtue or nature. Even outside of the circumstances, he didn’t think Kurosaki was an open person, nor did he have any inclination to show weakness. He should have seen this coming, but it was too late for regrets, and Kurosaki was slowly being swallowed by instinct.

  
  


This felt like resounding proof: Kurosaki was never meant to leave the water. This change was a curse. He was no fish, he was something else, tied to the sea in ways he couldn’t understand. 

“Kurosaki.”

The merman squeezed his eyes shut. _‘The water hides the pain, but makes the urge worse.’_

“The urge to do what?”

A hysterical little laugh was squeezed from Kurosaki’s chest, the sound small and aspirated. _‘Drown myself.’_

“Shinji how far are we from port? 

The man had ventured closer, concern noticeable in the set of his jaw. “Three days if the weather holds.”

Kurosaki’s entire posture crumbled into despair. _‘Too long.’_

_Shit._ Grimmjow let out a tense breath, steadying his nerves. “Do you want to go back in the water?”

_‘No.’_

Rubbing his hand over his mouth, he sat, frowning at the merman. If he made the change here, so far out at sea, every risk Kurosaki had explained and hinted at could come for him, powerless and exhausted. Grimmjow wouldn’t even know what happened, he’d just be gone. 

_Don’t let me near the sea._

“Let me watch him for a while,” Grimmjow said.

Shinji narrowed his eyes, and for a moment Grimmjow thought he would argue. Kurosaki was an unknown risk, the captain had every reason to argue to drag him out and contain him, or throw him overboard like he so desperately needed. Instead, he sighed. “Try to get him out from the desk.” 

Then they were alone again.

The fear on Kurosaki’s face reminded him of the net. Instinct was a hard thing to suppress when afraid and in pain, but this was a step further. 

“Come out, Kurosaki.”

No response. 

Jaw tight, Grimmjow settled in to wait, crossing his legs. 

There was no change in Kurosaki for what must have been an hour. He watched him with calm wariness, and it stung that he sought no comfort from him. 

Time passed and slowly, Kurosaki moved, uncurling to reach for him. It seemed a massive effort to do something so simple, and Grimmjow didn’t take it for granted. He took Kurosaki’s hand carefully, gently reeling him in. 

Once he was in his arms, it was much easier to keep him there. The merman’s trembling persisted, but his fears eased, and along with it, his tension. Grimmjow carried him to the bed, and managed to get pants on him before Kurosaki started to fight and hiss. Deciding it wasn’t worth it to push his luck, Grimmjow stopped trying to bully him into clothing and let the merman put his back to the wall.

Kurosaki watched him with a flicker of longing, and he apologized. _‘I’m sorry.’_

It was less the apology and more the way he did it. It was too submissive, too quiet; it was nothing like the Kurosaki he knew. “Don’t you dare start apologizing. You are what you are, Kurosaki. Ain’t gonna blame you for that. Now try to rest.”

_‘Sleep brings dreams.’_ That seemed to genuinely scare the other.

“If you won’t get back in the water,” Grimmjow argued, “you need to rest.”

The merman curled his lip in a challenging snarl, and pulled his legs to his chest. 

Stubborn. That was far as the conversation went. Shinji came and went, and Grimmjow silently watched, back propped against the wall. 

Kurosaki’s decline from fearful to sick seemed so quick. The merman did eventually end up asleep, kicking and squirming, sweat shining on his skin. Grimmjow hated watching him suffer, but there was next to nothing he could do but wait.

With a jolt, Grimmjow sucked in a sharp breath, neck stiff. 

He’d fallen asleep. 

And Kurosaki was gone.

Lurching to his feet, he scanned the darkened room and saw the streak of moonlight along the floor, cabin door ajar. It swung, squeaking on its hinges. A shout rang out from the deck. 

Dread heavy in his gut, Grimmjow burst from the room, and took in the scene with confusion. 

Waves of aether were rolling from Kurosaki across the deck, those warlike markings streaking down his face. He was trapped in a bright yellow prison of aether, the big one seemingly the one containing him. 

The merman blindly attacked his prison with claws and reckless abandon, screaming like an animal. The hair on the back of Grimmjow’s neck stood up, instincts clawing their way to the surface. 

Shinji shouted his name, and when he failed to turn, the captain grabbed his arm, forcing his attention onto him. “He tried jumping overboard, Rojuro tried to stop him and Ichigo damn near killed him. I’m giving you five minutes, then Haachi lets him go.”

Let him go? Kurosaki might not make it if he changed too soon. Grimmjow’s eyes widened. “You can’t-”

“ _Five minutes_ ,” Shinji hissed. He shoved Grimmjow at the barrier. “Haachi! Let him in.”

Kurosaki seemed more interested in escape than any of them, he didn’t even look when Grimmjow stepped up to the barrier. It split apart for him, then snapped shut behind him the instant his boots were within the barrier. 

All of Kurosaki’s attention was suddenly on him, hair falling wild into his eyes, wavy and clumped from salt. 

There was no recognition in the merman’s eyes. Amber irises were thin rings, buried by black pupils. He was trembling, Grimmjow noticed even at a distance, and if it was pain driving him, he was going to be even more desperate and dangerous. 

The merman bared his teeth in a warbling hiss, crouching with claws ready. Grimmjow didn’t wait for Kurosaki to gather the courage to attack, he shifted, pushing the change to the surface to respond with a hiss of his own, ears flat and tail thrashing.

The merman swiped with his claws and Grimm lurched out of the way, back slamming into the barrier. Not enough room to move. Kurosaki swiped again with no finesse at all, and Grimmjow easily grabbed his wrist. The panic was instant, the merman jerked and thrashed, more willing to dislocate his own arm than be caught. 

The struggling alone would have been easy to ignore if the merman didn’t throw just about all of his aether at him. His hierro protected him from the worst of it, but Kurosaki was strong; flared red aether cut trenches into his shoulders and limbs, sharp pain blooming from damn near every limb. 

Grimmjow pushed forward, grabbing the merman’s other arm. He held tight, claws scoring skin, and Kurosaki snapped his teeth. Before the merman could sink his teeth into anything, Grimmjow threw him bodily onto the desk on his back. 

Kurosaki screamed like a dying thing, loud enough to shake his eardrums and make him wince. Grimmjow steeled his heart to it, but Kurosaki didn’t give up the fight. The merman’s aether flared wildly, striking him across the chest in a stripe of pain and blood. He hoped to all hell the merman hadn’t just managed to gut him, so he carried on like he expected to live, leaning away from snapping teeth. 

Grateful he was much larger than Kurosaki in this form, he raised back and slammed him back into the deck once, twice, stunning him long enough to make a move.

A second was all Grimmjow needed to pin his arms to the deck and snap his teeth around his throat. He hoped Kurosaki’s instincts knew better than to fight when he’d lost. 

He threatened to break skin, Kurosaki’s breath rushing past his ear. The merman was still, his aether churning around them both, oppressive and painful, so Grimmjow growled, slowly tightening his jaws.

With a frustrated whine, the merman went limp, his aether falling around them like a broken wave. Kurosaki’s breath was hot and loud in his ear, hitching in pain like he was the one bleeding from a thousand cuts. 

Unsure if this submission would hold should he let go, Grimmjow didn’t move, ears twitching towards the thud of boots across the deck, until Shinji was within sight. He crouched, holding a collar in hand. Grimmjow snarled in opposition, and Shinji frowned. “The collar goes on, or we throw him overboard. I’m not going to risk my crew again.”

The merman tested his hold, twisting, and Grimmjow tightened his jaws with another rumbling growl. 

He glared at Shinji, not so much angry at the captain as he was pissed off he was forced into this choice at all. He’d gone to great lengths to get the first collar off, now he had to put on another by choice? 

Three days from port had them in the open ocean, there was no real choice to be made at all.

Quickly pulling his teeth from Kurosaki’s throat, Shinji didn’t waste time snapping the circlet around the merman’s neck. The merman wrenched his arms and kicked in his grip, but could no longer lash out with aether. 

Grimmjow hated to be the one doing this, but Shinji wasn’t wrong either. Kurosaki wasn’t in there, he was driven mad by a single overwhelming need.

Sitting back on the desk, Grimmjow lifted a hand to his chest, bringing it away hot and bloody. Not gutted, but damn close. 

“Take him to the brig,” Shinji ordered. “Haachi, make sure the cat doesn’t bleed out again.”

It took three of them to tie Kurosaki up, dragging him away to pitiful screeches of protest. He wanted to follow, but it would be stupid to bleed out because of his soft heart. 

Haachi’s aether washed over him, fixing the worst of the damage with a scowl of concentration.

The giant chided, “Try not to lose any more blood in the next week.”

“Wasn’t exactly eager for it this round either,” Grimmjow snapped. The man hit him with a disapproving frown, and Grimmjow looked away, letting slip a begrudged thanks.

After Kurosaki’s shrieks disappeared below deck, the silence left in his wake was stiff and uncomfortable.

“The merman’s aether is different,” Haachi said. They looked at each other, and the man said, “It doesn’t feel human, or animal.”

That didn’t surprise Grimmjow at all, not anymore. “Because he’s part of the sea.”

\---xxx---

Grimmjow sat below deck, covered in bandages for the lesser of his injuries. Haachi took care of the worst of it, but saved his strength for Rujuro. The sting of split nerves felt deserved. Grimmjow knew this was coming, but he hadn’t wanted to be right. If Kurosaki had known, fear and instinct had buried that truth.

The lantern he’d brought with him cast deeper shadows than what it could illuminate, but Grimmjow wanted to see the color of his hair and the blush in his skin. Not entirely for selfish reasons, he didn’t know if this much pain and stress would kill the merman. He wouldn’t let Kurosaki die in a cage. He’d rather set him free to face whatever dangers lay below the surface than suffer dying in pain behind bars.

All he had left of Kurosaki was a caged animal, hissing and growling. His change was devolving hour by hour, he barely looked human anymore. Those stripes covered him. The only thing missing were gills and a tail. 

He’d been sat down there for hours, slivers of sunlight reaching this deep, but it wasn’t enough to brighten the underbelly of the ship. The slap of a rope against wood accompanied the lulling drift of the shift, the rattle of chains and shuffle and groan of wood accompanying him in the dark.

Shinji eventually joined him and said, “This is only hurting _you_. Leave him, get some sleep.”

Grimmjow went to cross his arms, thought better of it with a wince, and asked, “That an order?”

A sigh, and the blonde leaned up against the wall. “Two days until landfall. Do you really want to be useless when we get there?”

“Why?” Grimmjow demanded. He looked at Shinji from over his shoulder, expecting something more.

“Why what?”

“Why help us? I can’t figure it out. It sure as shit isn’t because you like me, and _he_ ,” Grimmjow gestured at Kurosaki, balled up in the corner of his prison, “is nothing but a threat.”

“Does the why bother you so much?”

“I considered stealing a longboat. That answer enough for you?”

Shinji shifted and sucked in a deep breath. “You’re right, it isn’t for you, it’s for him.” Grimmjow stared, waiting, and Shinji bared his teeth. “I ain’t a soft idiot, but he doesn’t deserve this. The sea gave me everything I needed to save me when I needed it. Feels like spitting in the face of good fortune to let him die.”

“Seems like a soft answer.”

“Then curse me and call me superstitious,” Shinji growled. “But it actually doesn’t cost me much to help.”

“Almost cost you your man,” Grimmjow muttered.

“Waste of energy to hate an animal for lashing out when it’s afraid. Now are you gonna tell me why we aren’t letting the fish back in the water?”

“It isn’t complicated,” Grimmjow said. “Kurosaki told me not to, and if I don’t have to, I’m not gonna leave him out there defenseless.”

“I can believe that,” Shinji said. He pushed off from the wall and paused. “Try to sleep.” He took a single step and turned back again. “Oh, and for fuck’s sake, eat something.”

\---xxx---

Time passed, and Grimmjow did actually manage to eat something. He tried to feed Kurosaki, but whatever he offered was ignored. There was nothing behind those eyes but animal pain and fear. 

Whatever fearful reputation he might have had was dissolved overnight. The crew no longer looked at him with mistrust, but pity. He loathed it, much preferring the hushed conversations and furtive glances. 

The next day dragged, and Shinji left him below deck after trying and failing to convince him to leave. To his relief, Kurosaki ate something, if he could call that eating. He devoured the fish he gave him, defensive and aggressive at the same time. Grimmjow took it to be a good sign that he wasn’t so fearful and stressed that he wouldn’t eat, but it didn’t feel good to be snarled at like he was a threat. 

Nothing about the situation was pleasant. When Kurosaki got too eager clawing at the suppressor around his neck, he made himself the bad guy, hitting the bars with a crowbar. The sound alone would have been enough, and thankfully it was distraction enough to make the merman cease. If the merman was hissing and snarling at him, he was too busy to hurt himself, and that was fine by Grimmjow.

Sleep came in the form of uncomfortable, stolen naps, waking to the merman’s shrieks or the rattle of rusty bars. 

Landfall couldn’t come fast enough.

The instant port was in sight, Shinji came for him, enlisting Kensei’s help to drag Kurosaki on deck. The merman was going to go kicking and screaming, which would be unpleasant for everyone involved. 

Simply getting him out of the cage took some forethought, because even half-mad and exhausted, Kurosaki was a threat. Grimmjow had stronger resistance to poison, so he went first, crowding him into a corner and pinning his wrists to the bars. Kensei snuck in close, getting a grip on his legs so they could carry him. 

From the click of snapping jaws and his snarls, the merman was none too happy being manhandled.

Once on deck, Grimmjow had his arms around him in a crushing hug, grateful he was tall enough that Kurosaki couldn’t knock his teeth out with the back of his head. The merman kicked, but he was weak, and it was more pathetic than it was harmful.

Grimmjow’s arms were the last thing holding him back, squeezing him hard enough he couldn’t even breathe. 

Grimmjow didn’t want to know what would happen if Ichigo drowned without access to all his aether. He might actually die, and Grimmjow didn’t know if he’d be able to live with himself if he was the reason. He held him tight while Shinji removed the suppressor collar, and that was it, nothing stood between Kurosaki and the ocean. The railing was pulled open, he wouldn’t even need to jump.

He let Kurosaki go, and after a split second of shock, with unsteady legs, Kurosaki stepped off the side. Grimmjow heard the splash, craning his neck to look down into foaming waves. Kurosaki didn’t surface. 

It was overcast and windy, a thin mist making his clothes heavy with humidity, and there was no light to spare to see deeper into the sea. Hope clutched his heart every time he thought he saw a fin, or a flicker of orange hair.   
  
He stood there, searching the waves in desperation, even as Shinji barked orders to pull in the sails. 

Nobody bothered him, they left him standing there, watching. Kurosaki’s aether inside him was already gone, it had been since yesterday, and the merman had been in no frame of mind to renew it.

It started to rain, smoothing the surface of the waves with rolling showers, obscuring the depths even more. Standing alone on deck, Shinji stepped out into the rain to get his attention. “We can’t make dock until this clears up, but that’s as long as we wait.”

“Fine.” Grimmjow’s eyes never left the water, and Shinji left him alone. He got tired of standing still and climbed up onto the railing, leaning into the rigging. Soon the rain stopped, and still he was left with nothing but the wind and the creaks and groans of a sleeping ship.

\---xxx---

**Kurosaki Ichigo**

For a while, he forgot himself. 

There were flashes of impulse and prey and pain, but no coherent thought. Instinct ruled and cared for him, keeping him safe, keeping him fed; there was no room for thought. 

He found himself in the shallows, watching an octopus fading from a brilliant blue back into a rocky brown. 

_Grimmjow._

He had no idea where he was, and he couldn’t sense Grimmjow anywhere. What the fuck was he doing?

Panic gripped him, and he surfaced, seeing nothing but the rolling crests of gentle waves. No, no, no.

He swam blindly, seeking shore, any shore. In his blind panic, he tired quickly, and it was enough to taking stock of his aether, he concluded it must have only been hours since he’d changed. The last thing he remembered was Grimmjow’s arms, his scent, and the low timbre of his voice. He didn’t remember what was said, he only remembered his presence. 

It was a miracle and a half when he ran into a pod of dolphins. They were wary of him, but they shared what they had seen in clicks and whistles, sending him in the direction of humans.

  
  


He’d swam too far, too quickly, so when he finally found the humans, he didn’t know what to do with himself. It was a busy cove, full of nets, shouts, ships, and anchors. If Grimmjow was there, he would never get close enough to find out.

He swam up and down the shoreline, hoping for no good reason that he would find him. When he hadn’t come back, Grimmjow had no reason to stay. Not a single, rational reason. 

He hoped anyway.

Hours spent swimming back and forth, careful not to get too close, he wasn’t even sure what he was looking for.

Then he passed a cove and sensed aether. _His_ aether. It swirled in the surf, dragged out into the water like a beacon, and it had to be him. He surfaced and got a good, long look at a man standing alone in the surf.

Grimmjow.

He looked shocked, worried, hesitant. It spoke volumes to how they’d parted in the first place.

Submerging again, Ichigo swam as close as he could manage, heart pounding, until every outgoing wave left his fins and tail bare. He pushed himself up on his arms to get above the foamy surf, and got a good, long look at Grimmjow. He looked tired. Dark purple smudges were noticeable beneath his eyes, and the normally strong line of his shoulders were slumped. 

He damn near beached himself for this man and he was standing there with a stupid look on his face. He slapped the water impatiently, like Grimmjow had done to him so many times before.

That snapped him out of it, he sloshed through the waves and fell to his knees with a clumsy splash, flattening him to his back in a crushing hug. The hug was nice, but he was more interested in a kiss. Getting a fistful of Grimmjow’s hair, he yanked his head back and crushed their lips together, replacing all the aether that had been lost. 

Another small wave dragged his hair beneath him onto the sand, his gills getting an uncomfortable amount of sand dragged over them as well. He rolled over, climbing Grimmjow to get out of the surf, and the man broke away, arm shooting out to catch their combined weight. ”I waited,” Grimmjow breathed against his neck. “I waited.”

The broken relief in his voice shook Ichigo, his stomach tightening in sympathy. _‘How long?’_

He answered as if he’d been keeping careful track. “Two days and a night.”

_‘Two days?!’_ How much time had he lost? It felt like hours, but clearly he’d been very wrong. It unnerved him to know he’d lost control of himself so completely, and he never wanted it to happen again. 

His brows furrowed and he asked, _‘How long were you going to wait?’_

“As long as I had to.”

Shock widened Ichigo’s eyes, because it was as good as a confession. _‘Grimmjow…’_

“Hate that look,” he hissed.

_‘What look is that?’_

“Pity.”

_‘Then you’re stupider than I thought.’_ Ichigo lifted his hand to his face and said, _‘I love you.’_

Grimmjow’s expression shattered, whatever composure he’d had left crumbling. He hid his face against Ichigo’s neck and growled, “Sap.” 

Even through whatever emotional crisis the man was having, he still thought to drag him out to deeper water so he could breathe without also breathing in sand. Grimmjow sat in the rising surf, water swirling around his chest, and held Ichigo in his lap. It was easier to breathe with the waves doing all the work, which left him to press his cheek to warm skin, listening to the rhythm of his heart. 

The sun was slowly sinking on the horizon, soon they would be in the dark, but neither moved. “I have to talk to you.”

Ichigo didn’t like that tone, it was the tone someone got when they needed to give bad news. He couldn’t keep the attitude out of his own tone. ‘ _Nothing’s stopping you.’_

“Don’t be a smartass.” His hand smoothed over the back of his head. “This isn’t going to work.”

_‘Shut up.’_

“Kurosaki… you’re not meant for me.”

Wrapping his arms around his torso, Ichigo squeezed him tight. _‘Don’t tell me what I’m meant for.’_

“Do you remember?”

Lost time. 

_‘No…’_

“You didn’t see yourself. You went mad from it, and you did it for me.”

_‘Don’t you dare.’_

“I’m not good for you. You can barely breathe around me. I’m always gonna be around humans, and if they saw you, they would kill you. Don’t tell me your kind wouldn’t do the same for me.”

_‘You can’t tell me you waited here just to say goodbye.’_

“I promised I’d take you home, but I won’t ever let you become human again. So where does that leave me? I’m useless to you.”

_Useless_ . That felt like a blatant lie. If either of them had been useless, it was Ichigo, weak and recovering from the very moment they’d met. Ichigo tried another route instead. _‘You would break your promise?’_

“For you? Yes.”

A growl trembled in Kurosaki’s chest, unsure he even had words to express how much he disliked that.

Voice quiet, Grimmjow argued, “It’s only been days, you’ll forget me.”

_‘Those days were not spent idle,’_ Kurosaki hissed. His claws teased at his skin in his rage and he swore. _‘If you leave me on this beach, I won’t go home. I’ll stay right here until you come back and keep your promise.’_

“You wouldn’t,” Grimmjow growled.

_‘Try me.’_

The man sighed, the rush of air leaving his lungs depressing his chest. “Stubborn fucker. You really would, wouldn’t you? _Selfish_. What about your family?”

_‘They’d understand.’_

Grimmjow snorted. “They’d rather never see you again because you’re a lovestruck idiot?”

_‘No, but they’d get it.’_

Ichigo heard the disapproval in the noise he made and he laughed, the sound too distressed to be joyful. “I can’t watch you get hurt again.”

The surf pulled his hair around Grimmjow’s chest, pinched between the circle of his arms. _‘And you won’t. Stay with me. Just stay with me.’_

He’d been very close to him, he couldn’t help but spread his fingers over a new scar on his chest, visible through the low v of his shirt. Grimmjow pulled his hand away, and Kurosaki knew. _‘I did that?’_

“You were just scared.”

_‘You’re so worried about hurting me, look what I did to you.’_ He nosed along his collarbone, teeth grazing his skin, and Grimmjow’s grip tightened on his shoulders. _‘You took care of me. I remember.’_

“You said you didn’t.”

_‘I remember **you** _ _.’_ He let his hands sink lower, palms gripping the curve of his ass, it was getting to be more difficult for the both of them as the tide rose and the waves came faster. So Ichigo pushed Grimmjow back, beating his tail until the man’s back struck a smoothed boulder. That was just perfect, now they were deep enough and he was all stretched out for him, all within reach. 

“What’re you doing?”

_‘What’s it look like I’m doing?’_ He tugged his pants down, stretched from being waterlogged, and he was glad he didn’t have to fuck around with buttons with clawed hands. He pushed his pants down to his knees and that put his cock right at eye level, obscenely close to his face. The ebb and flow of the tide tugged his soft cock against his thigh, balls pulled up close to his body in the chill of the sea. 

“Oh,” Grimmjow said dumbly. Ichigo took him in hand, squeezing gently, and Grimmjow let out a broken sounding, “ _Oh_.”

It thickened in his hand, stiffening rapidly under his touch. His ego liked that more than the flicker of arousal it spurred. This man wanted him, he couldn’t hide his body’s reaction. 

He couldn’t use his mouth like Grimmjow had, not entirely, but he could get creative. Ducking low, he wrapped his tongue around the spongy head and pressed his lips to the tip. He sucked. 

Grimmjow’s hands were suddenly on his hair, gripping tight. He didn’t pull him down, but he didn’t push him away either.

Kurosaki sucked harder, mouthing his shaft while his hand kept a regular pace. His skin was silk under his hands, recalling the way his stiff cock had filled him up. _‘Greedy.’_ Grimmjow’s feet had slid apart as far as his pants around his shins would allow, buried by sand. Ichigo’s palms grabbed his ass, hiking him up on the rock.

Grimmjow’s hands tightened in his hair in panic. “Wait! What are you doing?”

_‘Relax,’_ Ichigo purred, his hands pet the underside of his thighs. _‘I’m not gonna fuck you. Not really. Put your legs on my shoulders.’_

“What’s that mean?”

_‘Trust me.’_ To his delight, Grimmjow didn’t argue, fighting the way his nearly discarded pants shackled his legs together to drape his legs over his back. Ichigo shifted his grip, pushing his legs higher, and took a moment to enjoy the sight. Not only did it feel good to have the man spread out for him to do whatever he wanted, but knowing he’d gotten someone so prideful and stubborn to let him have his way. Grimmjow wouldn’t ever let anyone get this far without a hell of a lot of trust. 

He mouthed his taint, nosing beneath his sac, and his tongue brushed over his hole.

“Hey, hey, wait.” Grimmjow’s hands clenched in his hair, holding him still. 

Ichigo stayed where he was, kissing and sucking delicate flesh. _‘Let me.’_

Grimmjow said nothing, he merely breathed, hands clenched in his hair. Slowly, his grip loosened, and Ichigo took that to mean he had permission. 

He couldn’t use his hands to loosen him up, all he had was his tongue, and he was going to make the very best of it. He prodded his clenching hole. He pushed through the tight ring, reaching around his leg to take his heavy cock back in hand, stroking and teasing the tip. It helped him relax, and he thrust his tongue deeper, parting his jaws to go as deep as he could manage.

Grimmjow arched, legs tightening around his shoulders, tugging his hair. “That-that’s-!”

Teeth pressed to delicate skin, he felt Grimmjow’s muscles flutter around his tongue, his cock twitching in his hand. _‘How’s it feel?’_

“Weird,” he breathed, “wet.”

Ichigo chuckled, twisting his tongue inside him, pressing up.

Grimmjow’s voice crested with the action, hands jerking his head closer. “Wha-! What is that?”

_‘That’s how it’s gonna feel good.’_ He stretched his jaw, lapping up inside him, and his hand slowly jerked his cock. Grimmjow’s hips mimicked the motion, thrusting shallowly into his palm. Very quickly, Grimmjow fell apart, panting and writhing on his tongue. His jaw started to ache, but he paid it no mind. It was worth it for every choked back moan and whimper he coaxed out of the man. 

_‘One day I’ll fuck you.’_ It was a growled promise, one that either frightened or excited Grimmjow. Maybe it was both. _‘You’re so eager for it, my tongue is barely enough.’_

“Shut up, shut up. Just get-I need it deeper.”

_‘Can’t get deeper, kitten.’_

“Call me that one more time and I’ll make you bleed,” he snarled.

Ichigo tilted his head, baring his teeth enough to threaten, pressing into vulnerable flesh. _‘I wouldn’t.’_

Grimmjow gasped in what Ichigo could only interpret to be pleasure. _‘If you get to call me fish, it’s only fair.’_ He jerked his head, jabbing his tongue as deep as he could. Grimmjow moaned, balls tight, and Ichigo knew he was close. He held his cock in hand, refusing to move more than small, tight circles. _**‘Here** , you’re mine, kitten.’ _

“Kurosaki,” he hissed. A demand to please him, and Ichigo ignored it.

_‘All this is mine.’_ His hands squeezed his thighs, having a new appreciation for legs, especially Grimmjow’s. He pulled his tongue out, stabbing it back inside him, and his entire body flinched. _‘You want my cock, don’t you. Wanna feel it pulse in your guts, making your body mine.’_

“I don’t,” he lied.

_‘Imagine how good it’ll feel when I split you open on my cock.’_ A moan, hips wiggling. Ichigo thrust his tongue into him, timing the rough fisting around his cock. _‘The first, and last man, to ever fuck you.’_

“I didn’t… hah, ah! I didn’t agree to that.”

Ichigo teased his teeth with a deep strike of his tongue. _‘Why should I ask to take what’s mine?’_ He was right to think the man would like that. Grimmjow started thrusting up into his fist, grunting with each jolting twitch of his hips. Ichigo folded him in half with a hand under the bend of his knee, stopping that motion in its tracks.

A frustrated whine accented Grimmjow’s panting breath. “Fuck!”

_‘Yeah, I’ll fuck you.’_ He thrust his tongue in again, growling. _‘Your ass would be tight, squeezing my cock.’_

Grimmjow moaned, clamping tight around his tongue. “Shut up,” he snapped, “you’re too big.”

_‘To make sure my cum stays where it belongs.’_

“Fuuuuuck,” he groaned, muscles tensing.

_‘You like that, huh?’_

Grimmjow arched, cock pulsing as he shot his load into his stroking fist. His growl was guttural and long, legs falling limp against his back. Kurosaki removed his tongue from his twitching ass, hands sliding along the underside of his thighs while he helped him back onto his feet.

“What about you?” Grimmjow panted.

_‘I got what I wanted.’_

“Did you mean it?”

Ichigo kissed his belly, just above his navel, and felt his muscles flutter. _‘Mean what?’_

“Fucking me.”

Ichigo laughed in his thoughts, the sound little more than a growl in his chest. _‘One day I will. One day you’ll spread your legs and beg for it.’_

“Arrogant,” Grimmjow growled. His toes curled in the sand and he messed with his pants, swatting Ichigo’s hands away. “Ripped my pants, asshole.”

Despite his tone, Ichigo knew he didn’t mean it, and that made him smile. He helped him pull up his pants, then flicked his tail, plastering himself to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his neck to keep himself out of the water, and kissed him.

Grimmjow chuckled, turning his head away. “I know where that tongue’s been.”

Ichigo arched a brow. _‘Are you calling me gross?’_

“Your words, not mine.”

Ichigo leaned in to kiss him again, more of an attack than a kiss, and Grimmjow’s palm flattened to his face, holding him back. Ichigo licked his palm and Grimmjow’s nose crinkled with faux disgust. The man laughed, pushing him back into the water. “Get your freak tongue away from me.”

Ichigo knocked his feet out from under him, leaving Grimmjow sputtering in a wave. He was careful with his land animal, a solid hand on his back pushing Grimmjow to the surface. He shook water from his hair, swiping it back off of his face, and looked for him, those blue eyes always snapping to the trail of his hair.

Ichigo surfaced behind him, draping himself over his back, much to Grimmjow’s surprise. “You’re fucking heavy, y’know that?”

_‘Don’t make me drown you.’_

“This doesn’t count?” Grimmjow spat out water from a particularly aggressive wave.

Ichigo let out a possessive, rumbling growl, teeth teasing the curve of his ear, following his jaw down to his neck. Grimmjow said, “If you can bat me around this easily you must be feeling better.”

_‘Much,’_ Ichigo agreed.

“You haven’t stopped touching me since I got in the water.”

_‘Is that a problem?’_ Ichigo growled.

“Lots of territorial behavior.”

Ichigo made a thoughtful noise, dropping back into the water so he could circle him, pulling himself up to eye level with his arms around his neck. Grimmjow’s hands came to his sides, one slipping to his lower back. _‘You tell me you want to leave me.’_

“I don’t want to,” Grimmjow snapped.

_‘So don’t!’_ Ichigo’s grip tightened with his fear, and Grimmjow winced. Unhooking his claws from his shoulders, Ichigo bumped noses in apology. _‘I can live with this; short moments where I can finally touch you. Just don’t leave me.’_

“You don’t think I’ll lose my appeal when you get back to your kind and you don’t need me anymore.”

Ichigo’s expression fell. _‘You think I’ll hurt you.’_

“I didn’t-” Grimmjow started, and snapped his mouth shut. He glared and said, “Don’t you need to breathe?”

Annoyed by the deflection, Ichigo dropped back underwater and cut off any escape Grimmjow might have been contemplating with his tail. Pulling himself back up by his shoulders, Ichigo turned Grimmjow’s glare back on him. _‘Don’t you dare run from me, I didn’t fall in love with a coward.’_

“You’re okay with living your life tied to shore?”

_‘How many times do I have to say yes,’_ Ichigo growled. _‘If you leave me alone out of some sense of misguided justice, I swear to God, I will kill myself and hunt you down.’_

“You’re insane,” Grimmjow hissed.

_‘You’re impossible!'_

“I think I hate you,” Grimmjow snapped.

_‘Liar,’_ Ichigo accused, lips pressed against Grimmjow’s. 

The man bit his lower lip, that kiss punishing. He pulled back, breathing hard, and raised his hand to the back of Ichigo’s head, wet hair bunched beneath his palm. “Shinji offered me a permanent spot on the ship.”

Ichigo’s eyes widened, leaning back to look at him. _’You said yes, right?’_

“Wasn’t sure if you were coming back.”

_‘Go tell him yes!’_ Ichigo shouted. _‘If you’re so worried about me, stay with the people that_ **_didn’t_ ** _try to kill me.’_

Needing to breathe, Ichigo slipped back beneath the water, and found Grimmjow’s hand on his flank. “I’ll tell him yes, relax.”

_‘Relax, he says, like he wasn’t ready to leave me.’_

Flaring his spines, Grimmjow snorted in answer. “I’m staying, Kurosaki. I’m staying.”

Those words sparked a possessive sense of longing in Ichigo’s chest. He’d come so close to losing him too many times to not feel immeasurable relief that he still had him. It forced a sense of need in him, by instinct or not, he didn’t care to untangle why. He wanted to keep Grimmjow within sight, but that just wasn’t possible, so that left trust. _‘Deep breath.’_

“What?”

Ichigo yanked him down below the surface, tail coiled behind his back, and kissed his startled land animal. His hair floated around them in a cloud, tugged across his neck when Grimmjow grabbed him. _‘Don’t fear me. I’ll protect your heart as fiercely as you protected my life.’_ Grimmjow pulled back to look at him underwater, squinting against saltwater.

Ichigo let him go, and Grimmjow surfaced with a gasp, water lapping at his chest. Ichigo pressed his forehead to his back, arms wrapped around his middle. Grimmjow wrapped his hands around his arms, returning his embrace almost timidly. “Watched you rip a man’s throat out with your teeth, and fuck if you still aren’t somehow a sap.”

Tightening his grip, Ichigo growled. _‘One of us has to be.’_

“Debatable.”

_‘I’m less sweet than stubborn.’_

“Bossy too. Like a-”

_‘Like a woman,’_ Ichigo snarled. _‘Yeah, yeah.’_

Grimmjow’s skin was starting to chill from the darkened sea, and the tide had come in, covering rocks and stretching into the rocky cave. ‘You’ve been in the water too long. Tell me how to find Shinji’s ship, you need to go.’

“So demanding,” Grimmjow muttered. “You don’t even know if he agreed to take you home or not. Well… I guess at this point he’d only be taking me.”

_‘Even if he won’t make that journey, it’s where I’ll find you, and I’m not leaving you.’_ He untangled himself from their embrace and swam in a lazy circle. _‘Just because I’m free doesn’t mean I’ll go back on what I said. If Shinji wants my aether, he only has to ask.’_

“I’ll tell him,” Grimmjow said. He reached out for his side, smoothing a long stripe towards his tail. He chuckled. “I’m not sure what the bottom of his ship looks like… did dumping my aether in the water even help you find me?”

_‘It did! That was smart. I was swimming up and down the coast for hours.’_

The man snorted. “I dunno if I’d call it smart, was just desperate.” He left his hand on his side, humming in thought. “How far away can you speak to me?”

_‘Hmmmm, I’m not sure. With my own kind, I know how far, but I can also sense their distance. You’re a little different.’_

“The bay is only a couple of miles across, if you can’t find me, call me, I’ll work out something.”

Ichigo’s tail cut the water in irritation. _‘I don’t like not knowing.’_

“I’m never letting you change again,” Grimmjow said. His tone was strange, and it was spoken as a promise. Ichigo wasn’t sure what he missed in his memory gaps, but it was enough to shake Grimmjow’s confidence. Ichigo wasn’t thrilled to re-experience it either. ‘Then I won’t. Not unless you disappear on me.’

“Bastard.”

_‘I can live with that.’_

Grimmjow shivered, and Ichigo gave him a solid push toward shore. _‘Go, I’ll find you.’_

The man fought the waves, climbing over rocks to get on shore, and hesitated, the waves dragging his feet below the sand. He didn’t say goodbye, Ichigo didn’t want him to. He finally looked back, a slight smile on his face, and Ichigo knew whatever misgivings he had were set aside. “Don’t get lost.”

_‘Don’t give shit directions.’_

Grimmjow turned away with a laugh, heading up the beach. “I don’t speak fish, I’ll see what I can do.” He yelled back. “You owe me pants!”

_‘Then don’t wear them next time!’_

Grimmjow made a rude noise and was finally gone from Ichigo’s sight. He stared off where he’d gone, hoping Grimmjow wouldn’t do something stupid, and swam back to open water, anxiously waiting.

\---xxx---

**Grimmjow**

It was a pain and a half to slog back to the docks with half-ruined pants, weighing an extra ten pounds from ocean water alone. He got some weird looks but at the very least he had a belt to keep his pants up, no thanks to Kurosaki.

_Kurosaki_.

The fish should have left, should have gone home and moved on, but that look in his eyes. The fish wasn’t lying, the fucker really would kill himself just to aimlessly wander until he found him. If he found him.

He was a bastard and a half, but he wouldn’t let Kurosaki do that. Part of him was thrilled. He was wanted. That was a weird feeling, so absent in his life, that he didn’t trust it. Happiness never lasted, and love was a fantasy for fools. And what a joke, falling for a fucking fish.

He stomped up the gangway and saw Shinji sprawled out in a chair, drinking alone. He could only imagine he’d sent the crew into town. The blonde gave him a once over, eyes narrowed on his pants. “What happened to my-y’know what, don’t answer that. That’s coming out of your paycheck.”

“You don’t pay me,” Grimmjow grumbled. He shrugged out of his wet shirt, tossing it over the railing, and followed Shinji’s eyes to his chest, discovering he was covered in claw marks, red welts only made more noticeable from how pale he’d gotten with the cold. Well, too late to hide that.

“I take it you found him,” Shinji said. He was spinning a bottle between his fingers, expectant.

“Yeah, I found him.”

“You almost sound disappointed.”

Grimmjow snatched the bottle from Shinji, and the captain frowned at him while he took a swig. “Please, help yourself,” he said dryly.

“I’m freezing my balls off,” Grimmjow snapped.

“I forgive you,” Shinji teased. “You’ve got reason to celebrate, I suppose.”

“I knew he’d come back,” Grimmjow said.

Shinji shrugged. “Wasn’t talking about the fish. Welcome to the crew.” He held the bottle up in salute, and took a swallow, handing it back to Grimmjow. “Bad luck to drink alone.”

Grimmjow accepted it and sneered. “Sounds made up.”

“Mermaids and werecats aren’t real either.”

Grunting, Grimmjow took another swallow, winced, and rasped, “This tastes like shit.”

“Then give it back.”

“No,” Grimmjow answered. 

He carried the bottle to the rail, studying the ship, and Shinji asked, “What’re you looking for?”

“Didn’t really give a shit what the ship looked like. I dunno how to tell Kurosaki where I am.”

Shinji crossed his leg over his knee and gestured at the bow of the ship. “Figurehead is a masked harpy. But for now, tie something to the anchor. It won’t stay there, no other ship will have it.”

Leaning over the edge, Grimmjow saw Shinji was right. He’d never noticed, he’d been too preoccupied. Grimmjow looked back, and said, “Thanks.” He didn’t trust how forthcoming Shinji had been, never had, and his skepticism never passed by unnoticed. 

“This works in my favor. I get a strong worker, albeit a distracted one, and an underwater guardian.” He raised a brow. “I don’t even have to feed the fish, just you.”

“I’m very happy for you,” Grimmjow drawled. He took another swig, and passed the bottle back. “Direct me to some rags before I use your shirt.”

“Tsk, _Espada_ , is that any way to speak to your captain?”

“Ex-Espada,” Grimmjow snarled.

Shinji held up his hands in mock defense. “Try the kitchen. And before we leave port, you’re going into town and buying your own clothes to ruin.”

“You don’t pay me!” Grimmjow shouted over his shoulder, and he descended to the sound of laughter. 

Grimmjow found a rag, grateful for some activity to keep himself from blatantly shivering, then struggled to tie it around the anchor without falling overboard like a dumbass. Shinji shouted some mocking encouragement from his place across the deck, and Grimmjow managed to tie it down without getting wet. 

That left him to wait and drink with Shinji, resisting the urge to stare out at the water. Ichigo shouldn’t and wouldn’t try to get close while they were at dock, and while eager to see him, it would also be much needed time for the merman to get back up to speed. 

The next morning, Shinji did actually boot him into town with a pouch full of silver, begging him to get something to wear, and something to repair it. Shopping for clothes was a pain, especially when he wanted nothing more than to see Kurosaki again, but he really did need something to wear. 

The sun was high in the sky when he returned and they shoved off. Shinji wanted to talk to Kurosaki again, which meant he’d have an excuse to take a boat down to see him. He tried to hide how giddy that made him feel, but the blonde bastard noticed. 

A shout from the crows nest had most of the crew looking over the side, and a voice purred through his thoughts. “Found you.” Grimmjow saw the fan of his fin slice through the water, the silhouette of his tail and the brilliant flag of his hair noticeable beneath the glittering surface.

It only took a few moments to get him and Shinji in the boat. The longboat had barely hit the surface of the waves before Kurosaki was draped over the side, brilliant hair spilling into the boat. Grimmjow met him with a kiss and instantly regretted it when he was dragged overboard.

Kurosaki was laughing so hard Grimmjow hoped he choked, and he dragged himself back into the boat with a shout. “I hate being wet!”

‘And I like pushing you around.’

“Fuck you. I’ll be sticky for days.”

“Stop flirting, I got business to talk,” Shinji drawled.

As promised, Ichigo got to sink his aether past Shinji’s defenses, and they spoke about what was fair and what was owed.

Kurosaki swam circles around the boat, the brilliant mane of his hair just about glowing in the light of the sun. Grimmjow would like to pretend he wasn’t staring, but he was. He was being circled by a very beautiful predator, one that had every reason to leave, but had stayed. It was sinking in as they sat there planning for the future, that he had a future at all.

Kurosaki made another tight lap and Grimmjow leaned over the side to stick his hand in the water. He stifled the urge to smile like an idiot when Kurosaki’s hand squeezed his wrist, fingertips trailing over his palm. 

‘What’s realistically stopping you from selling my aether?’

“We’d be undermining any established blackmarket trade.”

Judging from the silence, Grimmjow assumed it was out of confusion and offered bluntly. “They’ll try to kill us, or take over.”

Kurosaki’s tail flicked with more force. “Can you kill them first?”

“I dunno, do I want to?” Shinji asked sarcastically. “I’m not interested in a criminal empire.”

Grimmjow leaned forward and threw out a suggestion. “Can’t just fence it?”

“Gonna be hard to hide my source from a bunch of greedy bastards. You interested in round two of all this shit when they catch the fish?”

_‘Well if I can’t give it to you,’_ Kurosaki growled, _‘Can I use it_ **_for_ ** _you?’_

Shinji smiled. “There’s the right question.” His eyes tracked the twist of his tail and he asked, “You could flip this boat right?”

Kurosaki sounded as if he were insulted. _‘Easily.’_

“What about a ship?”

_‘You’re joking, I can’t flip a ship.’_

Shinji’s brows shot up. “You could sink it.”

Kurosaki swam silently, thoughtful. _‘I could, but I’m not drowning a whole ship for no reason.’_

“It’s good to know, regardless,” Shinji said. “And that siren trick, how far can that reach?”

_‘Don’t rely on it, I’m not very good.’_

Shinji laughed. “At least you’re honest..”

Surfacing, Kurosaki pulled himself up, folding his arms against the side. _‘Why_ **_are_ ** _you helping? It isn’t out of the goodness of your heart.’_

Shinji smiled wide, all teeth. “After that stunt I pulled, I’ll be lucky to trade in that port ever again, gotta find fresh water anyways. I’d be a fool to give up two irreplaceable assets. What captain can say he’s got eyes underwater?”

Kurosaki didn’t quite bare his teeth, but there was a threat behind gold eyes. _‘Only as long as you’re fair to him. He’s mine, I’m only loaning him to you.’_

“My, my, very possessive.”

Grimmjow blushed, equal parts insulted and flattered. “I can take care of myself, _fish_.”

A mischievous smile turned up Kurosaki’s lips. _‘I’m well aware. Just marking my territory.’_ Now Grimmjow did flush, and Kurosaki smiled wider. _‘That was between you and me.’_

“You better hope to God it was,” Grimmjow grumbled.

Kurosaki smiled slow and wide, flashing dagger teeth at him, and Grimmjow couldn’t even pretend to be mad. Grimmjow scowled and muttered, “If you don’t let me see him he’ll sink the whole damn ship.”

Shinji snorted and said, “I’ll take you where you wanna go, but keep him outta the water until we’re near port.”

_‘Fine,’_ Kurosaki brushed him off. _‘But you have to let me see him at night.’_

“Needy,” Shinji complained, “But doable.”

Somehow Kurosaki’s grin grew. _‘Then it’s a deal.’_

\---xxx---

Once Shinji charted their heading with some vague yet concise directions from Kurosaki, Kensei hit him with so much work his back was screaming by the time he was done with it all. 

His day could have been worse. Throughout it all, Kurosaki occasionally spoke to him, even if he couldn’t answer. Stupid, little comments that reminded him he was right there beneath his feet. He felt like an idiot laughing for what looked to be no reason, but how was he supposed to react when Kurosaki happily chimed, ‘Shark!’ or ‘This fish is getting suspiciously close to my dick.’

Even as he lay there on the deck, rearranging his spine, he realized he’d never been happy like this before. Joining Aizen felt like he’d finally scraped his way to a future, but he hadn’t been happy. He hadn’t had to worry about food or shelter or protection, and that was about it. It felt good to actually look forward to the future.

A future with Kurosaki… huh.

Kensei nudged him with the toe of his boot. “You dead?”

A snort fell from Grimmjow’s lips, cracking an eye open to glare up at him. “As if a mop would kill me.”

“Yeah, yeah, deadly Espada,” he drawled. He raised a bowl and said, “Missed dinner.”

“Whose fault is that,” Grimmjow snarked.

Kensei kicked him in the shoulder. “Ow!”

“I’m bringin’ it now!” Kensei crouched, setting it next to his head on the deck, and surveyed his work. “Not bad, for a fish fucker.”

Grimmjow snorted again and sat up, wincing when his back protested that choice. He took the bowl and did his best not to scarf it like a starving animal. “Thanks.”

Kensie’s brows shot up. “He _does_ have manners, color me surprised.”

That earned Kensei a glare from behind a mouthful of stew, which was less than frightening when he was stuffing his face. He swallowed and said, “I need a spotter.”

“Don’t think Shinji didn’t tell us you’re not supposed to get in the water,” Kensei said.

“Who said I was gettin in?” Grimmjow said, “I wanna talk to him.”

“So do it from the deck,” Kensei argued.

“Do you really, _really_ wanna hear me shout all about how I’d rather be fuckin’ that tight, hot-”

“Stop! Stop,” Kensei somehow managed to blush and look disturbed all at once. “But I’m not gonna stand up here all night, you’ve got a few minutes, tops!” 

Kensei added, “Starting now.”

Grimmjow inhaled the rest of it, then grabbed the ladder and tossed it over the side. He climbed down, wrapping his legs around the rungs to sit a few feet above the water. Kurosaki’s fin cut through the water beneath him, that blazing hair noticeable beneath the surface even in the dark. 

_‘Hey.’_

“Hey yourself.”

_‘I hate the open ocean, it’s boring.’_

A clever way to say he’d been missed; it almost made Grimmjow smile. “Picky,” he chided. “I guess you’re not happy unless you’re on the run and dying.”

_‘Yeah, that must be the case,’_ Kurosaki said dryly.

The ladder creaked and squeaked, unhappily holding his weight, and small waves slapped the sides of the ship. It was enough noise that he didn’t think Kensei could hear him. “I think this could work,” Grimmjow said.

Kurosaki silently waited for him to continue.

“It’s… working out. It isn’t completely ideal, but…”

_‘Are you trying to apologize?’_

“No!”

Disbelief rang inside Grimmjow’s head, and it felt deserved, because that’s exactly what he was doing, wasn’t it?

“I’m just… fuck!” The words fell from his lips in a rush, “I’m glad you’re here, that’s it. Don’t get full of yourself.” 

He’d barely finished speaking when he was startled by Kurosaki leaping clear out of the water at him. The merman caught himself on the side of the boat with his claws, holding himself at eye level with coiled muscles, arms on either side of him, his wet chest pressing into his shoulder. Grimmjow knew exactly how heavy the merman was, and it was… impressive. He swallowed, staring into smouldering golden eyes full of confidence and desire.

He was clinging to a wood and rope ladder with a creature that thought sharks were adorable just inches from his nose. His skin shone with saltwater, hair clinging to the tense swell of his shoulders, outlining the thick column of his neck.

Grimmjow kissed him first, arm tight around the ladder to keep from falling in. He was eager and restless, he cut himself on those teeth. It stung, and Kurosaki greedily lapped it up, his tongue burning his mouth and twisting around his tongue. He knew what that tongue could do, and lust ached between his legs, forceful enough to make him squirm. 

Grimmjow was the one to start it but he was also the first to end it. He pulled away, panting, “Cut that shit out, or I’m gonna have a problem.”

The merman wasn’t arrogant, but it did seem to boost his confidence, a prideful smile streaking across his face. _‘So if I keep this up every night, you really will be begging me to fuck you.’_

A blush settled on his face, and from the way Kurosaki’s eyes danced, it was very, very noticeable. “ _That’s_ where your mind goes? Really?”

Kurosaki stole a short, chaste kiss, then fell back into the water with a splash, laughter bouncing around his head. _‘Better start practicing.’_

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Grimmjow muttered. He said that, but he was already considering the logistics. Damn his libido, his willpower to refuse was wearing down, especially when Kurosaki was _like that_. Nobody looked at him like that.

_‘If you’re not allowed to get wet, I’m really going to have to work on my upper body strength.’_

Shifting on the ladder to readjust himself in his pants, he said, “Seemed fine to me.”

_‘I’m flattered, but my little vacation in a tank didn’t do me any favors. I did say I was bored, didn’t I? At least I’ve got a goal.’_

“Kissing me?” Grimmjow snorted.

_‘I didn’t say it was an admirable goal.’_

Kensei’s voice floated down from the deck. “Wrap it up!”

The night air was cold, the wind cutting uncomfortably through his shirt. The bars of the ladder cut into his shin and his ass and it was the farthest thing from comfortable. His shoulder and knee were wet from their kiss, and his lips tasted like iron and salt. His heart ached in a way that buried it all, making it seem meaningless. 

“Fish… I could get used to this.”

_‘You’d better.’_

_\---xxx---_

**Check out the pervy porn Kashi made! owo _[HERE](https://twitter.com/sharksmut/status/1326654948982001664?s=19)_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make a pervy epilogue uvu Also I think I might revisit this universe next mermay, we'll see~ Thanks for reading guys! /w\


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promised this didn't I, but I'm me so it's padded in 8k of angst. I hope the wait was worth it ; A ;

  
  


**Grimmjow**

Days spent slogging around the ship, mopping and doing manual labor weren’t fun, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it kept him busy, and he kept him from getting lazy. He wasn’t about to whine about it, that was as good as admitting weakness, and he felt the crew relentlessly prodding him for it. 

Between all the chores he’d been strapped with, it deeply bothered him that he’d had to leave his weapon behind. Between saving Kurosaki and his sword, there was no contest, but years having it at his side had made him more dependent on it than he thought. He reached for it, hand clasping air with the sting of loss.

To his surprise, once they hit their next stop, Shinji dumped money into his hands and kicked him into town to buy a sword. They were going to be tied up in port for over a month, and he was told to make it count. He was surprised they trusted him enough to give him a weapon, but then again, his goals were very transparent. 

He didn’t care about money, or popularity, his whole world had shrunk to Kurosaki. That was kind of insane, even to him, but he didn’t have anyone to impress.

He got exactly what he wanted: a weapon of his choosing, and an entire month to fuck around with Kurosaki.

It was a good month. He spent most of it wet rather than dry, and from the amount of time spent naked or nearly naked on the beach, he’d moved on from burning in the sun to a tan. Kurosaki made fun of his tan lines around his crotch, and some arguing later, Grimmjow humored him and went balls out on the beach.

Once he discovered it was a fun way to tease, his complaints evaporated. He could sunbathe until he was nauseous with heat, and Kurosaki was trapped in the surf, watching and waiting like a hungry predator. That tickled Grimmjow’s sensibilities something fierce, and when Kurosaki finally got to touch, he was damn near rabid with desperation.

No matter how careful the merman was, when he was teased, he left bloody trails, the imprint of his passion strewn about his entire body. There was no hiding the bites to his neck, the bruises and claw marks, and Shinji’s crew teased him relentlessly.

As annoying as the attention was, it held no ill intent. They treated him different than before, almost like a friend. Their jabs and jeers devolved into naked curiosity, asking questions with so much detail, sometimes Grimmjow couldn’t help but flush.

“Okay, but _where_ is his dick,” Lisa asked seriously.

Hiyori gagged. “Oh God, shut up. I’m leaving.”

Lisa adjusted her glasses, not in the least bit joking. “I know you fuck, but I’ve never seen it. How does it work?”

Hiyori left.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Grimmjow snarled.

“No.”

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Grimmjow said. “Figure it out yourselves.”

They didn’t figure it out, and they didn’t stop asking, much to his eternal embarrassment.

Beyond the nagging questions from the crew, he was tasked with the daunting challenge of _privacy_.

Just about nowhere on the ship was safe, and no one could be fucked to leave him in peace. Which made masturbating a fucking fantasy.

He had to go through the humiliating experience of finding a brothel, then explaining what it was he wanted. They didn’t seem surprised by his requests, only excited to help. They were...overly kind in their explanations, using gestures that made even him blush, and in the end gave him far more than he’d paid for. That was a trip and a half, and something he never wanted to experience again. 

The bag he left with was heavy, and despite no one knowing what it was he carried, he felt like they all somehow _knew_. He wouldn’t be caught dead trying to use it on the ship, it was going to be challenging enough to hide it. That left him to get creative and use his time wisely. 

Beating his shame back, he found a shady, secluded place in the trees not far from the beach he’d been meeting Kurosaki at. Pulling the burlap bag from his carry bag, he laid out his haul.

Three very obvious cock sculptures, carved from dark stone and polished to a slick shine, with very human details carved to form a rounded head and thickened shaft. They ranged from small––only over an inch in diameter––to the thickness he remembered when his hand circled Kurosaki’s cock. Daunting. 

He sat there, cross legged beneath his chosen tree, and scowled at his purchase like it could somehow judge him. 

No one forced him to do shit, he’d planned this himself, he wasn’t going to pussy out. 

He’d already experimented with his own fingers, and to his dismay, it wasn’t enough. No amount of flexibility and determination in the world would have been enough, not without some help. That ‘help’ was laid out in a line on a cheap, burlap bag, and he was chewing his lip like a nervous bride.

It wasn’t a real dick, he could just...relax. He wasn’t sure why he was so fucking embarassed. He was alone; it was just him, a dildo and his stupid, god-forsaken pride.

He took the oil he’d been given, letting it pool in his palm, and slicked up the smallest stone cock. It was a warm day, but it was still cool. He held it in a closed fist, warming it, and sat up on his knees to tug down his pants.

Those first few steps were very goal-oriented, he hadn’t considered how the mechanics would work and he was already changing his mind on how he should have approached it. It was a little awkward to reach around to finger himself, getting himself good and wet. For the first finger, it was nothing but necessary, shoving it inside with a familiar burn and stretch. There wasn’t much to call sexy about it, until he made it to the third finger, and his eyes slipped shut.

He couldn’t think of anything but Kurosaki’s tongue, spearing inside, wet muscle stretching him. He jabbed his fingers deeper, up to the knuckle, and curled them, pressing against that bump inside. He clenched his teeth, wrist already aching, and spread his knees, pushing back on his own fingers. 

Then he remembered what he was doing out there to begin with, pulling his fingers out to replace them with something bigger. He leaned forward, the tip of the false cock cool and very solid against his hole. He froze, biting his lip. 

It wasn’t even real, and he was scared? Fuck that.

He pushed, immediately got nervous and clenched up. Irritated with his own nerves, he sat back, forcing it with a wince. It was slick enough to slip in past tight muscle, but he froze again, breathing hard, and tried to relax. He was all too focused on just what he was doing, he was never going to relax at that rate. 

Keeping one hand around the dildo inside him, he took his cock in hand and stroked himself. That was a good reminder of why he was going through all this trouble in the first place. He slowly relaxed around the dildo, pushing it a little deeper. He stroked himself faster, remembering the tight squeeze of Kurosaki’s body, but that fantasy quickly shifted, imagining Kurosaki’s hand around him, cock forcing in. 

He already liked this better than his fingers. It was long enough to keep a grip on and still reach deeper than his fingers. The dildo was so solid, and twisting it, he could jab that place inside him that felt so good. 

Panting hard, his cock was throbbing, remembering inhuman growls against his skin, his throat. He gave up on the position he was in and bent over, facedown on the forest floor. He spread his knees, pushing the cock in deeper. He felt too vulnerable, too needy, and his chest tightened with shame, but the drive to seek orgasm overrode any thoughts of stopping. 

He realized he didn’t use enough oil, it was starting to burn, but he didn’t care. His fantasies were flooded with the feel of Kurosaki’s claws, his teeth on sensitive skin, and the heavy weight of his cock on his stomach. He wanted it, stabbing up inside him, filling him up. 

He moaned, stabbing the cock inside him, his other hand jerking his cock in desperation. He came with a strangled groan, cum splattering dead leaves and he forced that dildo deep, imagining it was Kurosaki. He wanted his weight draped over his hips, holding him down, taking. “God, Kurosaki.” 

He wrung the last aching pulses of his orgasm from his cock, and he was left sated and spent, feeling a sliver of shame replace his pleasure. He pulled the dildo out with a hiss, giving it a once over. No blood, thank the powers that be. Explaining that to Kurosaki and his hyper sensitive nose wouldn’t be fun.

Cleaning it off, he sighed at the size of the other dildos. One down. He could only hope Kurosaki didn’t notice a dip in his sex drive. With the way the merman went at him, he didn’t think it would be a problem. All he had to do was grip his hips and he was hard as a rock.

Days evolved into a month of nervous and careful practice, and he wasn’t certain he was any more confident about it than the first time he tried. 

Finally, with the threat of the future looming over him, Grimmjow was brave enough to try.

He’d run through it all in his head for the past couple of weeks, over and over. He shouldn’t be nervous, but he was. They'd fucked around countless times, he knew the merman’s body inside and out. He knew just where to touch to made him moan, to make him growl, or to make him impatient. And Kurosaki knew him, or more precisely, his limits. 

Kurosaki wanted to fuck him, that was no secret. But the merman never pushed for it, and he was never upset when he was turned down. He'd even gotten creative with it, pinning him down only to fuck himself. 

Grimmjow flushed. It was a good memory. Strong hands pinning him to the sand, a heavy body holding him down, almost crushing him. The solid weight of lean muscle grinding down into his hips, the erotic slap of their bodies, the surf trapped between them, wet and sucking and slippery. He licked his lips, tracking the waves for any sign of Kurosaki, irritated he was late. 

Impatient, he shirked his clothes, tossing them onto a rock well out of reach of high tide. He waded into the water and sat, the water cold on heated skin, but he quickly grew used to it. The feeling of his bare ass on the shore, of the push and pull of the waves over his skin was rapidly growing to be familiar. He used to hate it, but now it only reminded him of Kurosaki.

Kurosaki...

The merman’s lips on his, stealing his breath and making him dizzy with lust, squeezing his cock, hot, holding him inside. 

He took his own cock in hand, palming himself, slowly fondling in a way he’d become far less ashamed over, especially when he’d been practicing.

_‘I don’t want to interrupt,’_ Kurosaki hummed.

His words spread like warmth over his skin, and he growled his complaint. “Took too long.”

**_‘You’re_ ** _eager,’_ Kurosaki noted. He surfaced, pushing his hair out of his face, and leaned back on an arm, waiting with a barely concealed smirk.

The merman really was beautiful, the late afternoon sun highlighting every curve and contour, saltwater sparkling in his hair like a halo.

_‘Don’t just stare,’_ Kurosaki chided.

“You’re pretty. Hard not to.”

Kurosaki rolled his eyes. **_‘Pretty_** _. I’m not a woman.’_

“Well aware,” Grimmjow muttered. He sloshed into the water, gripping Kurosaki’s shoulder only to push back. Kurosaki let himself be flattened to the sand, staring up at him through crystal clear water with patient expectancy. 

“You told me to practice,” Grimmjow said. His voice came out nearly hoarse. “I practiced a lot.” Admitting he wanted this after keeping it to himself for so long felt strange, like a well guarded secret finally confessed, but he knew there would be no judgement.

Kurosaki’s eyes widened, knowing full well what he meant.

Shrugging off the hand on his shoulder, the merman looped his arms around his shoulders, and Grimmjow braced himself with a hand on the sandy ocean bed. Kurosaki pulled himself up into a kiss. It was tamed, nearly chaste, but Kurosaki lingered, salt stinging his lips.

The merman moved lower, kissing and nipping along his throat. That was something recent, the merman liked to bite just as much as he did, but his bites would arguably cause more damage, so he’d usually stayed away, worried he’d harm him. Kurosaki was always very careful, never causing more damage than he meant. It might have annoyed him once to be treated with such care, but now he was eager for it. 

It was proof someone gave a damn about him, and he hadn’t thought that was ever something he’d have. He sure as fuck didn’t think he deserved it, but Kurosaki didn’t seem to give a single shit what he thought he did or didn’t deserve. 

One leg on either side of Kurosaki, he straddled him, thighs tightening around corded muscle. Kurosaki flexed, grinding up against him, and Grimmjow felt a throb of lust in his guts, wrenching through him with anticipation he hadn’t expected. Kurosaki was strong, terrifyingly so, and he was right there between his legs. 

He wished their roles were reversed, but it was uncomfortable for both of them to breathe, so he would have to wait. He didn’t want to push for selfish desires before he was sure they had time. They could make it work, but it was still a pain to work around something as simple as breathing.

Reaching down between them, he rubbed the pads of his fingers along Kurosaki’s opening, fingers easily slipping inside. He worked them in and out, petting his lovers insides, watching Kurosaki’s expression shift from adoration into wanton lust. 

Working the merman up was easy, the dark pink head of his cock emerging and thickening as rapidly as his own swelling erection. He fisted his hand around the speared head of his cock and Kurosaki arched off the seabed, eyes slipping shut. 

Grimmjow readjusted, thrusting against his opening, the head of his cock catching on the folds of his slit. He was overeager and nervous, and he hoped they were both more than worked up to try. 

He stopped mid motion and Kurosaki growled, bucking up against him for more. “Wait,” Grimmjow panted, “Just wait a sec.”

Taking Kurpsaki’s dick in hand he leaned forward, spreading his legs further, and lined up the swollen head of his cock with his hole. He leaned back, the pressure no longer as startlingly new after all that fucking effort to get used to it. But now it was real, _very real,_ and he could feel Kurosaki’s pulse in his cock, hot and eager to split him open.

He sat back, and after a long moment of uncomfortable stretching, the head was in, twitching and hot inside his clenching walls. Fucking _finally_ . This was arguably one of the most difficult things he’d ever fought to get, and it was embarrassing as hell. Or it would have been, if not for the look on the merman’s face. Kurosaki looked up at him with blackened lust, hands tight on his hips, lips pulled back from sharpened teeth in barely contained restraint. Kurosaki wanted this too. Want. That word felt too pathetic to be right, so did need. It didn’t adequately contain the agony he felt when he fell asleep to the creaking of a rocking ship _alone_.

Panting, Grimmjow let his head fall forward, eyes closed, and sank back on more of him, until he was too tight to force without waiting. 

Kurosaki had a death grip on his hips, claws scoring his skin, and Grimmjow looked down at him, lips parted as he sucked in desperate breaths. It still wasn’t easy, but he knew he could do it.

_‘I wasn’t sure if you were serious.’_

“Shut...shut up. Been...thinkin’ about this for awhile.” More than awhile. Ever since he’d been prawled out beneath him in the light of the fire.

The merman watched him with patience that betrayed just how much he cared, his cock throbbing inside. Slowly, Grimmjow took more of him, saltwater prickling his skin. So focused on his task, he flinched, gasping when Kurosaki took his neglected cock in hand. He slowly stroked him, fingers moving slowly, feeling every inch of him.

The merman was paying very close attention to him, but his eyes were glued to where his cock disappeared inside him. Grimmjow reached down, knocking his attentive hand away to pull his balls and cock up, giving Kurosaki a good look. “Spent weeks trying to do this, you better get a good fuckin’ look.”

Irises only a thin ring, Kurosaki’s growl vibrated between them. _‘I’m looking.’_

Grimmjow felt his eyes raking over him in appreciation, focused as only a predator could be. It was a little embarrassing, but he’d never have it said he was going to half-ass something. 

He sank slowly back, his smooth shaft sinking in deeper, deeper. He’d done this before, _technically_ , but not with an audience, and never with an eager participant. It was somehow more daunting. Kurosaki thrust up a little, his cock stabbing in another inch, and Grimmjow clenched his teeth, breath catching on the pain and gasped.

_‘Sorry.’_ The rumbled apology was real, but looking down at the merman through shifting waves, there was a striking intensity in those eyes; Kurosaki really was struggling to hold back. That was…

Lust pooled in his belly, aching in his guts, and he squeezed his own cock. He focused instead on finishing what he started. He had what he wanted, he had something powerful between his legs, cock splitting him open. He could feel the hot pulse of Kurosaki’s pleasure inside him, the water making it easier to take it slow. Instead of dwelling on his own feelings, he attacked Kurosaki’s. “Usually you can’t shut up.”

_‘You want me to say something?’_

He didn’t know why he wasn’t expecting a question, but he realized he did. “Yeah,” he panted.

Kurosaki’s tone wavered, his thoughts crowding his words together as if they were about to scatter. _‘I’m trying my hardest not to hold you down and fuck you, I’m not really thinking about anything else.’_

His breath left him all at once and he took more of Kurosaki inside, hand leaving his cock before he came. He wanted to do this without the help from his other form, but his patience had nearly run out. He wanted him _now_. 

Pushing his shift forward, he tightened around the cock inside him, aether splashing over them both, dissipating in the water and streaking off his body into the air. 

Tail twitching, he wrapped it around his thigh to keep it still, and his ears flattened, bracing himself for what he was about to ask for. He looked down at Kurosaki and growled, “ _Now_ you can hold me down and fuck me.”

Permission was all Kurosaki needed. He warned him to take a breath, and Grimmjow knew what was coming. The merman dragged him below the surface, crushing him to his chest, arms like steel banded across his back. His own cock was trapped between them, squeezed in the valley of taut muscle. He tightened his legs around his tail, holding his cock inside.

Eyes squeezed shut against saltwater, each undulating motion of his tail thrust his cock in deeper, and no matter how brief, being trapped against Kurosaki’s chest, completely at his mercy, hit him with a dizzying wave of lust. 

Kurosaki’s hand shifted to the back of his head and the merman breached the surface, flattening him to a rock. His hand took the brunt of the impact, rather than the back of his head, which was more consideration than he expected to get. Water splashed up around his shoulders as he sucked in a desperate breath, the ache in his lungs subsiding with a pleasant throb and dizziness. 

His lower back was pressed to smooth, cool stone, literally trapped between a rock and a hard place. He let out a breathless laugh, amused by his own thoughts, and his ears flicked back, more submissive than he expected to be. Kurosaki’s chosen rock wasn’t quite flat; it kept him above the surface, giving Kurosaki plenty of leverage, but left the merman above water as well. Kurosaki held himself up on his arms, gold eyes molten against those dark stripes, and Grimmjow felt good and caught. 

Kurosaki’s tail rolled forward, his cock stabbing fully inside him. Grimmjow cried out, panting, and dug his claws into the rock beneath him. He’d made the grave error of grasping his shoulders before, and sticking his claws into open gills hadn’t been pleasant for either of them.

Kurosaki held still inside him, letting him adjust as he nipped and sucked along his throat. Grimmjow felt so full, he didn’t know if he was ever going to catch his breath. His body ached, but that pleasure hadn’t subsided, stretched tight around Kurosaki’s thick cock. _He was so fucking big._

Well aware they were on a ticking clock while his gills were above water, Kurosaki still behaved as if they had all the time in the world, waiting patiently for any sign he could move. So careful, even when he didn’t need to be. It annoyed him as much as he relished it. He shifted his hips, cock rubbed between their bellies, and he sucked in a tortured breath. Kurosaki pressed down against him harder, his legs forced further apart. 

He was breathing short and fast, head swimming, even as Kurosaki sacrificed his own breath to hold him. The merman hummed against his chest, the sound sweeping into his thoughts and helping him relax. For as rough as Kurosaki could be, the moments where he was nothing but gentle always served to surprise him. He languished in the care, but he’d never admit it. 

It was one thing to fuck himself with a stone replica and another thing entirely to be fucked. He hadn’t anticipated how dominating it would feel to be bent in half and held down. Slowly he grew used to it, his breaths calming into something less panicked. Kurosaki’s nose nuzzled his throat, taloned hands seeking his own. Kurosaki pulled the werecat’s claws from the rock and pinned Grimmjow’s arms at his sides, palms pressed to his wrists, holding him captive while still somehow making it painfully tender. 

Kurosaki’s hands slid up, taking his hands in his own. He’d had this fantasy over and over, but in none of them did Kurosaki hold his hands. For being in as compromising a position as he was in, he didn’t think that would be the thing to tug at his seams. Hands that could main and kill and flay and he chose to hold him, palms wet and hot against his own. 

Grimmjow couldn’t remember a single time in his life he’d ever felt more vulnerable. It turned his stomach in a disgustingly pleasant way. Kurosaki well and truly had him; he was inside, hot against his chest, teeth and claws pressed to coursing blood in ownership. He’d craved this, and hadn’t wanted to admit it, not in so many words. 

Something in the change of his breath or the tension in his body was enough for Kurosaki to act. The merman’s tail rolled, withdrawing just enough to suck Grimmjow’s breath from his chest in a sharp exhale. Kurosaki snapped back inside, a jolt of pleasure throbbing in his groin. He moved again, knocking a moan from Grimmjow’s chest. He couldn’t bite it back if he tried, Kurosaki was all over him and _inside_ him.

Again and again he thrust forward, cock filling his guts and pinning him in place. He stayed deep, hardly withdrawing at all, but every powerful thrust knocked the air from him, until he was breathless, suspended on the edge of orgasm. He had no idea how far along Kurosaki was, but he knew it was in his nature to drag it out as long as he could.

Kurosaki stabbed in, harder and faster, his teeth marking up his throat, gifting pain and then lapping it away in apology. Grimmjow ached to touch his cock, but Kurosaki pinned his hands in place, and he was left to hold on and wait. 

Kurosaki’s voice in his thoughts growled dark, barely comprehensible through need and instinct. _‘I like having you at my mercy.’_

“Every fuckin’-NGG! Time I get...fuckin’ wet––Hhahh, I’m at...your mercy.”

_‘Like that, don’t you?’_ Kurosaki stopped, deep inside him, and the hot pulse of his cock ached with his own arousal.

“God, moooooove, what the fuck.”

_‘I don’t have to thrust to get off, I do it for you.’_ He sucked his throat, tongue swirling against his pulse, rapid and fragile, like prey.

“Really?”

_‘You do so much for me, this is all for you.’_

He rocked into him, stomach wet and hot against his cock, and Grimmjow groaned, tightening shaky legs around his tail. “What..d’yu mean?” His brows furrowed in annoyance. “You don’t owe me.”

Kurosaki chuckled, the sound rumbling like a growl in his chest. Gods, that sound, it trembled between them like distant thunder, and it made him crave the sting of his teeth on his skin.

_‘You let me have your body, your submission, that’s a lot.’_ He jerked his tail forward, cock filling him up, and Grimmjow made a sound he refused to acknowledge as a whimper. _‘I just wanna show my appreciation.’_

“Can-hhh-can feel that _appreciation_. Don’t gotta...lay it out like that.” Grimmjow panted. His brows scrunched, remembering they were very much out of the water. “Breath-Don’t you need to-”

_‘But I’m not done with you,’_ Kurosaki interrupted, fingers fitting snugly between his own, tightening in possession. That was something else, something that curled in his chest like a sigh.

“Well, it won’t be fun anymore if you pass out.”

Kurosaki laughed, the sound bouncing around in his thoughts and ears. _‘Don’t worry about me,_ **_kitten_ ** _.’_ The nickname was woven through a groan of lust, rocking into him, and Grimmjow forgot to be angry about it.

His palm felt cold for a brief moment, then Kurosaki’s hand was on his cock, firm around the head. He tugged, laying into him at the same moment, and Grimmjow’s tail snapped, curling around Kurosaki’s lower back. What it wanted to do was curl up between his legs like a fucking coward. 

Clenching around his cock with a pathetic sound, Kurosaki kissed him, tongue pressing against his own, drinking his moans. His hand was free, but he didn’t know where to put it, so he tightened it in Kurosaki’s hair, fisting in cool locks. 

The merman’s voice soothed through his thoughts, stroking him faster. He broke away from their kiss, leaving Grimmjow panting, and Kurosaki purred, _‘I have to cum, you ready, kitten?’_ His words were sweetly languid, so adrift in his own pleasure.

Hooking his ankles around Kurosaki’s back, he held him tight and groaned, “Stop talking.”

He felt the smile on Kurosaki’s lips when he kissed him, clumsy and somewhat chaste. His jerking pace as he stroked his cock lost any illusion of rhythm and he felt the thick pulse of his cock, his own heart fluttering away like a trapped bird in comparison. He felt the heat pool inside him and he kneaded the hair he’d captured, feeling smugly satisfied that he’d brought Kurosaki to orgasm first. The burning pressure in his lower half made his legs tremble, muscles mercilessly clenching around his cock. 

Kurosaki broke away from their kiss with a throaty growl, teeth clenched. He was holding back _for him_. Something about that was always highly arousing. Lust throbbed in his cock, so close he was seconds from jerking himself off regardless of Kurosaki’s opinion. “How’s that feel?”

**_‘Now_ ** _you wanna talk?’_

Tightening his grip in his hair, he asked again, a low growl accenting his voice. “How’s it feel?”

_‘Too good,’_ Kurosaki moaned. _‘Tight and hot, you’re squeezing me so good.’_ He licked his lips, eyes narrowed and thrust forward hard, hard enough to knock the air from Grimmjow’s lungs. _‘Cum for me kitten, I wanna feel it.’_

“You didn’t-ahhhh, say what you w-aa-ah! Wanted to say.”

The merman stroked him, wringing his hand around the head, jerking him off fast and hard enough he wasn’t going to be able to hold back.

‘I don’t wanna hurt your pride,’ Kurosaki admitted.

Grimmjow growled, his annoyance directed mostly at himself. “Dealt with...that...weeks ago.”

_‘Fine,’_ Kurosaki hummed. He looked down at him, letting go of his hand to brace himself on the rock beneath them. _‘Feels like I’ve finally claimed a mate. Instincts don’t know I can’t knock you up, but it feels good to know that even if I can’t follow you on land, the ache of my cock will be in your body and on your mind for hours.’_

A flush of lust and shame spread over his skin, deepening his pleasure, and he came hard, tensing in a wave. He groaned, tightening around the softening thickness of Kurosaki’s cock. He couldn’t make eye contact, not when he enjoyed it so much, so he squeezed his eyes shut and breathed, gasping when Kurosaki moved, his cock caressing his insides. 

Kurosaki’s attention returned to his throat, allowing that privacy, and let go of his cock, petting a shaking thigh instead. He waited, holding him until his breathing began to settle, and slowly pulled out. Grimmjow groaned at the loss, his legs cramped from being locked in the same position for so long. Still, the stupid bastard lingered. 

Pushing Kurosaki’s head back, Grimmjow sighed, “Get outta here. Breathe, Kurosaki.”

The merman reluctantly left him, settling back underwater with barely a splash at all, and Grimmjow was content to lie there and breathe himself. His front felt conspicuously cold with Kurosaki gone, and lying there on his back made him feel vulnerable, so he sat up, wincing at the tightness in his lower back. Resisting the urge to clamp his knees together, he managed to sit up without too much discomfort. 

For the time being he tried to set aside the reasons for that discomfort and focused instead on the fact that that was some of the most satifying sex of his life. His limbs tingled with his pulse, drifting in the aftermath of that pleasure, and he took those few moments to enjoy it.

He saw the coiling shape of Kurosaki’s tail just at the base of the rock, the merman lazily adrift in the waves while he caught his breath. The cloud of his hair and the turbulence of the surface obscured his form as much as those stripes. He knew what lazy activity was normal, and what was not. He asked, “You okay.”

_‘Better than okay, just tired.’_

“You’re tellin’ me,” Grimmjow muttered. His tail curled around his leg, the tips of his ears drooping in sated exhaustion, and he watched the sparkle of gold on Kurosaki’s body in the sunlight, pale fish darting by the base of his rock. 

He felt light, despite the settling aches he felt. He wasn’t used to giving up control, not unless that person was Kurosaki. It was still frightening and new, but Kurosaki never took it for granted, and never held it over him. The meman treated it like a gift; he knew how hard it was to convince himself to let go, and he let Grimmjow handle it without dragging his weaknesses and vulnerabilities into the light. Not when he wasn’t ready for it. Too considerate of his fucking pride.

The merman’s voice interrupted his thoughts. _‘I can feel which way is up again, will you get in the water?’_

Frowning down at his wobbly outline, Grimmjow chided, “That was good. Really good. But if you pass out the next time we fuck you aren’t getting anywhere near my ass again.”

_‘Next time?’_

“Don’t change the subject!” He thought he could blame his blush on the heat, but Kurosaki already knew his enthusiasm made his ears burn in embarrassment.

_‘Fine,’_ his tail flicked curtly beneath the water and he turned to face him. _‘I solemnly swear I will not pass out.’_

“You have the stubborn willpower of a drunken sailor, don’t push your luck.”

_‘It’s cute when you care.’_

“Fuck you, I’m not cute.”

_‘Cute little ears, and a cute fluffy tail...’_

“Is this a play to get me in the water? You won’t feel very accomplished when I’m strangling you.”

Kurosaki chuckled, surfacing only up to his nose. _‘So will you get in?’_

“Depends, you miss me already or are you worried?”

_‘Both can’t be true?’_

Frown deepening, Grimmjow scowled at him, then leaned forward with a wince at the spark of pain at the base of his tail. Fucking on rocks was far from comfortable, at least in hindsight. “Don’t get water in my ears,” he warned. “That shit hurts.”

_‘Sorry.’_

Grimmjow growled and slid into the water. “Don’t give me the kicked dog look.” The water here was a lot deeper than it looked, and he kicked his legs, treading water, until Kurosaki grabbed him around the middle. Cheek pressed to his chest, Kurosaki easily kept Grimmjow’s chin above water. “I can swim, you know.”

_‘So can I. Better than you.’_ Kurosaki’s hands slid up his back, fingers pressing in around his shoulder blades. He seemed fascinated by his lack of gills, always touching his back and holding him. His fingers pressed down the stripe of his mane, following it to where it stopped around his lower back. If he wasn’t so thoroughly fucked, that would have been arousing. Now it was just pleasant, gentle and thoughtful in a way Kurosaki never was with others. 

The merman readjusted his tail, giving Grimmjow little choice but to straddle him around the middle. Grimmjow’s hands settled naturally around Kurosaki’s shoulders, careful to keep away from his gills. The merman’s hand on his spine slipped lower, curling around the base of his tail. It tickled, and it twitched, curling away from his hand, so he squeezed harder, palm and fingers flattening dense fur. 

“Why do you pet me like that?”

_‘Isn’t it obvious?’_ The merman’s eyes glittered up at him from the water. _‘You’re soft.’_

“Your hair is plenty soft,” Grimmjow argued.

Kurosaki smiled. _‘Soft-different.’_ He cocked his head. _‘You seem to like it, what’s the problem?’_

“Cheeky bastard, always deflecting.” He considered not answering, because it made him feel stupid for caring at all. “Makes me feel like a pet.”

_‘You’re not a pet,’_ Kurosaki growled. 

Grimmjow winced, realizing that was a bit tactless. If anyone he’d ever known would never consider him a pet, it was the merman trapped as one for nearly a year. He ran clawed hands through his hair in silent apology and said, “Not you. Reminds me of other people.”

_‘I’m not them,’_ Kurosaki insisted.

“No, you’re not,” he agreed. He leaned on his shoulders and watched the waves, not upset, but thoughtful, and Kurosaki was patient as he always was, waiting. “Couldn’t always control this, ya know? When I was a kid, I was the cat freak. Was a lot furrier back then too.” He grimaced. “Had fur all up my arms too.”

_‘You don’t now. What changed?’_

Grimmjow snorted. “I did. Was tired of all the weird looks, of being called a freak or an animal. I wanted the power to hide it, or make them shut the fuck up. I got both, and I still wasn’t happy.”  
  


The merman searched his face, brows drawn tight. _‘Are you happy now?’_

Shock widened Grimmjow’s eyes, and his answer was quick. “Yes! Yes, you stupid fish. You think I’d subject myself to being sopping wet all the time if it didn’t make me happy?”

The blush on the merman’s face was just as visible beneath water as it was out. _‘Just checking.’_

Grimmjow scoffed. “Yeah, I’m happy.”

_‘I don’t have to pet you if you don’t want me to.’_

There it was again, the kicked dog look. Grimmjow sighed in annoyance, tightening his grip on his hair to be punishing, but just for a second. “Don’t stop on their account. Reminds me of shit I thought I left behind, hadn’t realized it had been that fuckin’ long since anyone could get close enough to touch my ears and tail. That’s all.” 

He threaded his fingers through floating locks, watching it sway with the waves. “You’re right, I do like it. I just…”

He just... what? He didn’t talk about shit that happened before he abandoned his name. Well, he hadn’t, but it seemed to come easily when he spoke to Kurosaki. He listened. There was no judgement, or pity; he listened and understood. “I didn’t tell you to give you a reason to stop, I just...wanted to.”

Kurosaki’s growl was so much like a purr, squeezing him tighter in his embrace. 

“Don’t be _too_ excited about it,” he scowled. “It's embarrassing.”

_‘It’s hard to get things out of you, Grimmjow. When I get them, I can’t help but enjoy them. Especially with how boring everything is when you’re gone.’_

“Wish I could do something about that.”

_‘You do plenty. I should be grateful for it, anything exciting is bound to be a threat to my life.’_

Grimmjow didn’t like the sound of that, no matter how strong he knew the merman to be. “On second thought, stay bored. You’ve had enough excitement for a lifetime.”

Kurosaki snorted. _‘Very considerate.’_

“Thank you for noticing.”

_‘So…’_ Kurosaki ventured.

“So, what?”

_‘Are we gonna talk about it?’_

Grimmjow blushed, an ear flicking back against his will, betraying his unease. “Talk about what?”

Kurosaki didn’t say anything, but his hands traveled lower, gently squeezing his ass.

Yes... _that_ . He knew it was going to come up, Kurosaki wouldn’t let that go, not after Grimmjow had snarled at most all attempts to flip their roles. Grimmjow argued, “ _No_ , I’ve got nuthin to say.”

_‘What if_ **_I’ve_ ** _got something to say?’_

Grimmjow’s eyes narrowed. “The worst thing about this arrangement is I’ve got no way to shut you up.”

The merman laughed, eyes narrowed in a smile. It felt good to see him smile when he was finally healthy. There was no trace of pain or restlessness or discomfort there. Just happiness. It curbed the false rage he’d pulled in around himself, and Kurosaki saw straight through it. 

_‘I’m glad you trust me.’_

“Kurosaki…” He warned him to tread lightly, without knowing exactly what he was warning against.

_‘Next time I’ll be better.’_ Grimmjow looked at him, forcing himself to stop being a coward, and the earnest seriousness on the merman’s face was still enough to dust his cheeks with an embarrassed blush. He wasn’t used to giving up control, he couldn’t imagine he ever would be, but the merman certainly made it easy to want to indulge himself. “You make me feel spoiled rotten. It’s fucking embarassing.”

_‘Why? I want to do it. I want to give you what you want.’_ Kurosaki’s eyes were dark with buried lust, the tips of his claws tracing a line from the base of his tail up to his mid-back. 

Grimmjow shivered, nerves prickling at the sensation, and his tail curled against his leg. “Feels...I don’t know. Selfish.”

Kurosaki gave him a gently chiding look. _‘You’re allowed to enjoy things, Grimmjow.’_

“It’s you. Can’t help but feel like a bit of a bastard. You’re out here by yourself all damn day. Maybe all fucking week, and I’m telling you what _I_ want? _Fuck_.”

Kurosaki’s hand lifted to his jaw and he shifted, lips crushed against his in a salty show of force he couldn’t help but enjoy. The current teased his skin and pushed in around him in a gentle reminder he was nothing but a visitor here, and Kurosaki was his keeper, a vengeful guardian that chose to hold him close and treat him with respect he hardly deserved.

The merman broke away, but stayed close, and true to their promise, kept the water from reaching his ears. The lack of breath against his lips made him feel even more like some ocean spirit, only made real from the heat against his skin. _‘I like giving you what you want. It’s selfish in its own right.’_

“How?”

_‘I saw how you were with others. I can still see it, if only from a distance. You keep them at arm’s reach, you refuse to turn your back on them, but you let me in. You let my teeth near your throat, my claws scrape your skin, and you get in the water. You gave me everything, how could I not revel in it?’_

His hand retreated from his throat, and Grimmjow swallowed thickly, those molten eyes so close to his own. Kurosaki shifted them both so he was deeper underwater, his nose level with his collarbone. _‘Just enjoy it, Grimmjow. I don’t care what you do or don’t deserve.’_

The bubble of laughter sprang from Grimmjow’s lips, and what had only seconds ago felt like a burden was gone, as if it never was. “How can someone bring out the best, and worst of me, with so little effort?”

Kurosaki rolled his eyes, tone teasing. _‘You could acknowledge my effort, because I’m actually trying pretty hard.’_

Grimmjow’s laugh doubled and he said, “I won’t say I didn’t try pretty hard to make this happen. I had to ask three very nosy women for help.” At the look on Kurosaki’s face, he stumbled into laughter again. “No, they didn’t touch me, god forbid. But I had to look them in the eye when I bought what I wanted.”

The fascination on Kurosaki’s face was impossible to miss when he posed a very predictable question. _‘Can I see?’_

Grimmjow’s answering blush had him fidgeting under Kurosaki’s scrutiny, and he looked away. “Maybe. If I feel like it.” That wasn’t entirely true. If he refused now, he’d be a damn coward. If he was going to show Kurosaki, _he was going to show him_. But that was for another time, if he could convince himself to get over what that actually meant he had to do.

Jerking off on the beach had happened plenty, but using one of those dildos where Kurosaki could see? Might as well throw all his fantasies at his feet….tail.

_‘You’re blushing a lot,’_ Kurosaki called out.

“You’re supposed to pretend I’m not, fuck you.”

_‘Could have blamed it on the sun.’_

Grimmjow raised a brow. “Are you encouraging me to lie?”

_‘I’m a bad influence.’_

“ _You’re_ an awful liar.”

Kurosaki smiled, a slow, lazy turn of his lips. He was something else when he smiled. He hadn’t had much reason to do it, when they met, not in any way that mattered. He smiled a lot those days. 

Pulling back from Kurosaki he said, “I’m going to get my pants, and I’m coming back.”

_‘Again?’_

“I don’t like it when fish nibble my bits!”

Kurosaki’s smile turned savage. _‘I nibble your bits.’_

Grimmjow rolled his eyes. “Very cute.” Kurosaki let him go, and he was left to tread water with sore legs. It wasn’t as bad as he expected, his lower back got the worst of it. They really needed to figure out the logistics so he wasn’t getting pounded into a rock face and Kurosaki wasn’t suffocating on a beach. 

Kicking towards shore, he wobbled a bit when he got his legs under him, the waves sucking at his calves and calling him back. He pushed his shift back down, shaking water from his hair. The ache was a bit more noticeable without the aide from the feral side of his blood, but his aether was scrambling to ease his aches and pains in its place. 

He tugged on the short pants he’d bought specifically for these occasions; the fabric was thin and breathable, stopping near his knees. When he bought them, he nearly went for the white, but on second thought, he’d be a fool to think they wouldn’t be transparent as sin once they were wet. So black it was. 

Trudging back into the surf, he swam back to Kurosaki, finding him from the glistening fin breaching the surface. _‘Your bits are safe.’_

“Don’t sound so sad you freak.”

He felt a hand tug his ankle and he kicked, missing Kurosaki by a mile. “Don’t drown me!”

Laughter rang in his head and Kurosaki surfaced before him, eyes narrowed in a smile. _‘Swim with me.’_

This was a tried and true routine. Once he’d gotten over his fear of swimming away from the shore, so far he couldn’t see the bottom, it had been fun. Kurosaki wouldn’t let him drown, and when he got tired, he was there to keep him afloat. Any fears he had of undersea monsters were assuaged by the fact he had his own monster, right at his fingertips. 

Following Kurosaki away from their rocky refuge, he swam out into softly rolling waves, taking a deep breath to duck beneath the surface. He opened his eyes beneath the water, tracking Kurosaki’s serpentine form. Grimmjow always felt clumsy and helpless in the water, but Kurosaki was patient with him.

The merman took his hand and pulled, dragging him fast enough that it was far easier to shut his eyes and wait it out. Kurosaki seemed to know exactly how much breath he had, and he let him surface when he needed it. It was kind of fun to get dragged around, especially when he didn’t have to do any of the work. 

Once Kurosaki was happy at their depth, he let Grimmjow go, swimming a tight circle around him. Swapping to floating on his back, Grimmjow shut his eyes to the sun and said, “I can see why you get bored. Nothin' out here, not even clouds.”

_‘I was lucky enough to make some friends.’_

“Friends?” His question was venturing, halfway hoping he didn’t mean other merpeople.

_‘Dolphins.’_

He let go of a ball of tension he hadn’t realized he’d been nurturing. “So that’s what you’re doing all day.”

_‘They were bored too, so it worked in my favor.’_

Grimmjow tracked Kurosaki as he swam circles, his silhouette imposing to his baser instincts. Occasionally, his tail brushed against his leg, or he helped him stay afloat with a well placed push. He almost complained he wasn’t helpless, but when nothing stood between him and death but a sharp tug on the ankle, it was more or less true. 

He asked, “How do you talk to a dolphin?”

_‘Same way I talk to you. Most animals are too stupid to understand, let alone respond. Whales kind of scare me, and dolphins are like children, but at least dolphins are willing to play.’_

“Whales scare you?” With the way he could sink a ship he could only wonder why.

_‘I feel like they’re judging me.’_

Grimmjow laughed. “I feel that way about cats.”

_‘You_ **_are_ ** _a cat!’_

“So I’d know best, wouldn’t I?”

_‘You don’t judge me.’_

“How the fuck would you know?”

_‘Fish senses,’_ he answered breezily. The lull was reason enough to throw his arms up and sink below the surface. He opened his eyes to prickling salt, because fuck everything, he liked to look. 

Kurosaki’s tail waved, keeping him at eye level, with nothing hindering him or holding him back. His fins were splayed, slowing him down, each poisonous barb catching swirling lines of sunlight. Kurosaki gave him his look, then twisted away, urging him to get air.

Grimmjow got one deep breath before Kurosaki was tugging the waistband of his pants. “Leave my pants alone!”

Laughter was the only response he got. Sinking back underwater, his hand shot out for the swirling orange flag of Kurosaki’s hair, his fingertips just missing it. Kurosaki looked back, smirked, and kept just out of reach, taunting and teasing. 

As much as it might have rankled his pride with anyone else, the wide smile on Kurosaki’s face when he missed was infectious, and he found himself smiling back. Their little game wasn’t remotely fair, but it was fun to try to lure Kurosaki close enough to touch. His fingertips finally slid along his flank, and despite the surge of victory he felt, he knew Kurosaki let it happen.

Kicking up for air, he panted and sighed. “I got you you bitch.”

Kurosaki was suddenly behind him, holding him above the surface with his chest to his back. His arms wrapped around his middle and he felt his teeth on the nape of his neck, teasing gently, but enough to send a startled chill racing up his spine. _‘Yeah, you got me.’_

“Can’t imagine its all that amusing. Like teasing a drowning child.”

_‘True,’_ Kurosaki rumbled. _‘And false. You’re just a land animal.’_

“You’re damn right,” Grimmjow muttered.

**_‘My_ ** _land animal. Aaallll the way out here.’_

“Possessive little shit.”

‘ _You like it.’_ The merman wasn’t wrong. _‘I have to overcompensate somehow, you spend all your time out of sight.’_

Grimmjow glanced back, but all he saw was rolling waves and a flicker of orange. “Out of mind?”

_‘Never.’_

They were only partly being serious, but that was reassuring even if he didn’t want it to be. He wasn’t some blushing schoolgirl, but it was nice to be wanted.

Closing his eyes to the sun, Kurosaki was the nudge he needed to not have to try to stay afloat, and it was comfortable. Their contact was mostly limited to Kurosaki’s wandering hands, since the water between them and the occasional bump was enough to keep him afloat, but the merman’s presence prickled his skin and he couldn’t forget he was there. 

“Shinji says the next city is only about three days away. We’re really only hanging out here at all because forging documents is apparently time consuming.”

_‘...There’s more.’_

“Yeah...it’s a pretty big city, and a really busy port. It’ll be hard to see you.”

_‘When does he plan to leave?’_

Grimmjow sighed. “Tomorrow at daybreak.”

A rumble of annoyance shook the water between them, and Grimmjow twisted, straddling his tail. The water only lapped at his ribs, Kurosaki was getting good at keeping him above water without needing to try. The merman frowned up at him and said, _‘I hate it when I can’t see you.’_

“I know.” The merman meant that literally, he knew that now. Kurosaki seemed to quell his own fears when he could see him or hear him on deck. In a city, Kurosaki was miles removed, Grimmjow might not even be able to hear his voice. 

He tried for a silver lining. “We’re getting closer to your home though, aren’t we? The water is warmer, clearer.”

_‘Very close.’_

Grimmjow sat back on his tail to get a better look at his expression. “You don’t seem too excited about that.”

Kurosaki weighed his response, uneasy without letting too many of his fears slip. _‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to see them, but...it’s going to be rough.’_

Grimmjow frowned. “You handled getting legs, Kurosaki. I can handle some disapproving fish. So can you.”

Kurosaki still looked concerned, but a smile replaced his frown. _‘You calling my family fish?’_

“Fish, the lot of you.”

_‘Don’t think I didn’t realize, yknow.’_

The merman smirked, and Grimmjow pretended he didn’t know why. “Notice what?”

_‘You made today special, you fuckin sap.’_

“I lie to you and you find it romantic. Typical.”

_‘You didn’t lie,’_ Kurosaki said breezily. _‘You just withheld the truth.’_

“Thought you’d at least be annoyed.”

_‘I knew this wasn’t going to carry on forever. If I wanted to know, I’d have asked, but I never did.’_

“Sneaky fish.”

Even beneath the water, Grimmjow saw his brow arch. _‘I’m the sneaky one? You practiced,’_ he purred, _‘and kept it a secret.’_

“Shut up,” he muttered. “Just wanted it to happen before I didn’t get to see you. That’s all.”

_‘Mmhmm, that’s all. I see,_ ” Kurosaki teased. 

“You’re really smug when you know you can drown me, you cheeky bitch.”

_‘I would never.’_

He wouldn’t, he went so far out of his way to keep him comfortable it was damn near embarrassing. Grimmjow gave Kurosaki’s shoulder a playful shove and said, “I’m _glad_ you can’t talk to the crew.”

Kurosaki laughed. _‘It’s cute when you’re shy.’_

“I’m not cute.”

Kurosaki’s smile was savage. _‘You compared me to a woman for weeks, it’s only fair.’_

“I’m gonna call you minnow again.”

_‘Sure, kitten.’_

Lunging for the merman, Kurosaki effortlessly slipped below the surface and evaded him. His fingers slapped harmlessly at the trailing swirls of orange hair, the smile on Kurosaki’s face teasing the corners of his own lips. Kurosaki toyed with him for a moment, making him earn it, and when he finally got hold of an arm, Kurosaki rewarded him with a kiss.

His tongue played over serrated teeth and Kurosaki’s hands held his face, slipping around his neck like a noose. Something about the way he touched him in open water sent a thrill of fear up his spine. Kurosaki had his own instincts to contend with, and they saw him as prey. It made Kurosaki’s touch feel thoughtfully calculated, ever careful not to push too hard, or take too much.

The merman let him go, and even with burning lungs and a pounding heart, Grimmjow lingered and looked. It was easy to feel he was prey when held captive by so much intensity. 

He was a hunter, he wasn’t hunted, this was an entirely new experience. It was different when he was in his element, with his weight carefully balanced on his own two feet, but here, he was nothing but a visitor, and at worst an intruder, at the mercy to whatever was held in those depths.

_‘Sometimes I don’t know what you’re thinking.’_

Grimmjow finally kicked his feet, coming up for air with a gasp. Kurosaki’s hands smoothed over his sides, feeling every breath as it expanded his ribs. The merman helped him while he tread water, but his touch was as exploratory as it always was, talons teasing the curves of his ribs and making his skin tingle with anticipation.

“It’s all your fault,” Grimmjow said, hearing his own weariness and frustration tangled up in a tone he’d meant to be accusatory. Kurosaki said nothing, patiently waiting to see if he would be brave enough to share. 

Fear was one thing, but the thought of spilling his thoughts to someone outside of himself was always intimidating. No one had ever given a shit, and he’d never decided anyone was worthy enough to know. Until Kurosaki.

“You changed everything. I thought I knew what I wanted before I met you. I wanted to be the fuckin’ strongest.” He didn’t remember where he’d been or what he’d given up with regret. It felt like a distant memory, belonging to someone else. “I got close...pretty damn close.” 

Kurosaki shifted beneath him, keeping him afloat on his back. His hands wandered over his belly, and he felt vulnerable, exposed, but he did nothing to stop it. It was still a new feeling to allow someone so close. “Before you, I never felt hunted, I never felt someone so carelessly stronger than me, just through your nature, by what you are. Changed my mind about a lot of shit. Happened fast too…” 

He spread his palms out in the water, easing his own strained desire to stop, to hold his fears close to his heart where Kurosaki could never find them. 

”Makes me wonder if I know who the fuck I am anymore.” Just saying it was enough to coil his nerves into a bundle of regret. He didn’t know how Kurosaki would react, but he knew his opinion mattered a great deal.

He felt Kurosaki’s lips on the nape of his neck, saccharine and gentle in a way he’d never seen him be around anyone else. _‘I’m to blame for that. For all of it.’_

“I didn’t tell you to blame you.”

_‘Doesn’t make it any less true. I didn’t know you before, but I can take responsibility for what I’ve done.’_

“Psh, that ain’t fair. _Responsibility_. My anxiety isn’t your problem.”

Kurosaki didn’t take that to be an insult, but he had every right to. His arms curled around his middle and his nose pressed to the bend of his neck and shoulder. **_‘You’re_ ** _my problem, I don’t take this for granted.’_

“I know,” Grimmjow said quietly. “Just a lot to get used to.”

_‘You’ve been there for me, I’m always gonna be there for you.’_

“Sap…” He hoped that was true, he really did. Now that he wasn’t alone, he didn’t wanna go back to it. With as many hours and days as they were forced to be apart, it left a lot of room for error, for the nightmares that clawed at his thoughts to take shape and become real. “I’ll be fine, I’ll get over it, always do. It’s you I’m worried about.”

_‘Me? It’ll take more than a leviathan to keep me from you.’_

“Do I even wanna know what that is?”

_‘Probably not.’_

As terrifying and enlightening as it was to find himself at Kurosaki’s mercy, he’d never realized it might twist his outlook so much. Once he’d gotten over his pride, he’d discovered far too many opportunities to change. He looked forward to those moments of weakness, for someone else to take care of him for once. 

Kurosaki’s hand dragged over his chest, smoothing over the scar he didn’t remember leaving there. That always dragged complicated feelings to the surface for them both.

He wasn’t ashamed of his scars, but it wasn’t a pleasant memory. He liked keeping the reminder of what he had to lose, of what Kurosaki could be, but it still wasn’t fun to remember. If Kurosaki sensed that or not, his hands wandered elsewhere, smoothing lower, but only to hold him tight.

“You’ve ruined me, fish.”

_‘M’sorry.’_

“Didn’t say it was a bad thing.” He sensed Kurosaki’s confusion in his silence, but he wasn’t sure how to explain. The sun still burned through closed lids, denying him any respite, and he sighed, a heavy, frustrated whoosh of air. “It’s been...nice. Those fuckers on the ship knew me by reputation, most people did. You didn’t know any of that. Clean slate...mostly.”

_‘You think I’d have a different opinion if I knew of you?’_

“Pesche sorta ruined that, didn’t he?”

_‘You’re so worried about your past, it isn’t going to change my opinion of who you are.’_

_“I_ don’t even know that,” Grimmjow growled, “what makes you so confident?”

Sharp teeth nipped at his throat. _‘So broody, you’re worse than me.’_

“Hey.”

_‘Whatever life you lived made you the person I love. Keep your secrets if it makes you feel better, but I won’t love you any less because of them.’_

“In spite of them,” Grimmjow corrected.

_‘You think so little of yourself.’_

“I know I’m pretty, so that’s a load of shit.”

_‘Vanity is different than shame and regret,’_ Kurosaki chided. 

Grunting in both approval and disagreement, he couldn’t deny that. 

_‘My brother always told me to abandon my regrets. Easier said than done.’_

Grimmjow tilted his head, catching the floating bloom of Kurosaki’s hair in his peripheral, but nothing more. The merman didn’t talk about his brother, and he had good reason not to, so when he did, Grimmjow knew to listen.

_‘Would your opinion of me change if you knew?’_

Grimmjow could only wonder about what he meant. What could be so bad that he would want to hide it from someone like _him?_ “Maybe,” he admitted, “but never for the worse.”

Kurosaki’s tone was practical. _‘Then you have no reason to worry, I feel the same about you.’_

“What could you have possibly done that you wouldn’t want to tell me?”

_‘That’s hardly fair. You get to know all my secrets and you give me little in return.’_

“It’s just...hard.”

_‘Didn’t mean it like that,’_ his tone was apologetic. _‘You don’t owe me, this isn’t a transaction.’_

“Always so damn careful with me.”

_‘I’ve never had anyone before._ ’ He talked over him, his words tumbling out like a confession.

“But you said-”

_‘Fucking around is different than_ **_this_ ** _. You’re the first.’_

“Then how can you know you won’t find some pretty fuckin’ fish to replace me?”

Kurosaki’s grip tightened in annoyance. _‘This again...you’re not so easy to replace. You’ve seen me at my worst, and you held me together. No one else can say that.’_

Grimmjow felt the blush on his ears even in cold water and growled, “You make it sound so romantic; I kept you alive and we fucked.”

The merman’s laugh trembled at his back, and Grimmjow wondered how Kurosaki could see so easily through his insults. _‘You did do that. You also held me when I cried, pretended not to notice when I was afraid, and I’ll never forget that.’_

“Don’t cherry pick. I also stabbed you, hurt you, yelled at you-I watched you cringe back like I was going to hit you. I ain’t a good person.”

The water shook with a growling purr, confusing Grimmjow. _‘And you didn’t enjoy a second of it. You’re more than rough around the edges, you sting like fire coral; I’m not stupid, I’m not ignorant to your shortcomings any more than my own.’_ His grip tightened, claws teasing flesh, and Grimmjow’s breath caught, hands gripping Kurosaki’s wrists. _‘I love that fire. There’s no one quite like you. If either of us should be worried they’re gonna be left behind, it should be me.’_

“Are you worried?”

His grip tightened again, his chest pressing up into his back. _‘Always. You’re a fickle creature, everytime you leave my sight I wonder if it’s the last time I’ll ever see you.’_

“That’s why you’re so possessive?”

_‘I’m not trying to hide it. I’m stubborn, and you’re_ **_mine_ ** _.’_

That sent a shiver up his spine, and while in the past he might have raged at such a blatant show of dominance, now he welcomed it. He had just about nothing, but he had Kurosaki. He had him. “Don’t suppose promises would alleviate that fear?”

_‘No.’_

“Mmmm.” He couldn’t say Kurosaki wasn’t wrong to worry. No matter how hopelessly in love he might be, he still harbored doubts; doubts he knew he might indulge in a moment of weakness. 

_‘As much as I whine at you for keeping secrets, I’m just as much to blame.’_

Grimmjow waited with the same patience Kurosaki spared him, his hands clasped over the back of Kurosaki’s. He felt the sway of his tail displacing the water near bare feet, the soft touch of his hair brushing his shoulders. It was a moment without stress or tension, Kurosaki merely gathering his thoughts.

_‘I spent a lot of time being used. The amount of aether I have is unusual, even among my kind. I was their weapon and executioner, and I let it happen. I could have argued, could have done...anything else. I didn’t.’_

“You were just a kid, Kurosaki.”

_‘Yeah...so were you.’_

Grimmjow frowned. “You’re tryin’ to make me feel better.”

_‘Is it working?’_

“A bit.”

_‘Lots of people have tried to tell me what to do. Tell me what’s right, who’s wrong, who to kill, who to spare. They forced my hand but I’m still the one that chose to do it. Keeps me awake some nights, distracts me some days.’_

Grimmjow felt compelled to admit, “I get nightmares too.”

_‘I wish I could be there.’_

“I’d rather you not see,” Grimmjow admitted.

_‘I understand.’_

“Yeah?”

_‘Yeah,’_ Kurosaki’s voice fell like a sigh in his head. _‘As much as I know you wont judge me for mine, I wish I could have kept them to myself. Doesn’t mean I don’t still wish you didn’t have to wake up alone.’_

“It’s not so bad.”

_‘Could be better.’_

Grimmjow couldn’t argue that. He asked, “Do you regret the people you killed?”

_‘Yes...and no.’_ Grimmjow got the distinct impression that even had they been speaking face to face, Kurosaki would have turned away. _‘I like the fight, the hunt...too much sometimes. That’s not entirely due to what I am. My brother nurtured his instincts, and kept mine sharp.’_

“I like that part of you. Should I not?”

_‘I know,’_ Kurosaki’s voice in his head was soft. _‘I like that part of you too, it reminds me you aren’t prey, it keeps my fins bristling when you look at me.’_

“You don't think of me as prey?”

_‘Not the way you think. I could kill a shark but that doesn’t make them prey any more than if someone dumped a tiger on me.’_ He smiled against his shoulder, he felt it. _‘You’re a wild thing, I haven’t forgotten that.’_

“Way to stroke my ego, Kurosaki.”

_‘Don’t forget I love you, you insecure bastard.’_

“Like you can talk. If you could follow me on shore you’d have your hands down my pants anytime someone made eye contact.”

Kurosaki was quiet a moment. _‘That’s probably true.’_

Grimmjow snorted. “Horny bastard.”

_‘Like you’re any better.’_

“I get bonus points for putting in overtime.”

Kurosaki laughed, low and easy against his neck. _‘You did, didn’t you? I can give you that.’_

He actually did feel better, but he always did after they talked. That wasn’t entirely true, it was Kurosaki himself, his very presence was enough to alleviate his fears and doubts. He sighed, loud and obnoxious. “Gonna miss you.”

_‘It’s just a few days...hopefully.’_

It sounded more like Kurosaki was trying to convince himself. “Hopefully.” He rolled over and out of Kurosaki’s arms, ducking underwater. No matter how useful his aether was in blocking the sun, the cool water still felt good on burning cheeks. He surfaced, swiping a hand over his face, and felt Kurosaki’s hand against his lower back when he swam past. The merman hovered, but left him to stretch his legs and tread water.

He felt a bit emotionally wrung out, but with the knowledge he may not get to hold Kurosaki for days, it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling.

_‘How much longer can you stay?’_

“Shinji made a point to tell me to be back by sunset.”

Kurosaki’s tail snapped in agitation. _‘Can he do that?’_

“He’s my boss, take your complaints up with him.”

Kurosaki sounded frustrated and pissed off all at once. _‘I just want to go with you.’_

“That ain’t ever gonna happen. Never again.”

Kurosaki argued. _‘When I'm alone and it’s dark, the risks start to feel worth it.’_

“ _Never again_ ,” Grimmjow growled.He grabbed for him when he swam by, and Kurosaki let himself be reeled in. “I’m not fighting with you about this, not today.”

Kurosaki looked ready to argue, but he let it go with a look that promised he wasn’t going to let it lie forever. _‘One day you’ll tell me what happened.’_

“But not today.” He couldn’t parse those feelings, he wasn’t over it. He never would be but the words still wouldn’t come. “Not today Kurosaki.”

_‘Fine,’_ he relented. Kurosaki took over swimming for him again, arms encircling his waist. _‘We can save that fight for another day. You’re gonna go to shore and start a fire, and I’m gonna catch you some fish, cause I know you didn’t eat.’_

“Is that what’s gonna happen?”

_‘Yeah, and if I’m real lucky, I’ll nail you right in the face with a fish, and you’ll have no choice but to be impressed.’_

“Uh huh,” Grimmjow said. “And how do you know I didn’t eat?”

_‘You don't eat when you’re nervous.’_

Grimmjow frowned at the callout. “Fair enough. You’re not usually so concerned, what inspired this?”

_‘Humans court each other with dinner right? Well it's the best I can do.’_

Grimmjow’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Who told you that? Have you been talking to Shinji?”

_‘I’d have better luck asking the fucking dolphins than I would asking you.’_

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, but nodded. “I’m feeling attacked, but that’s fair.”

Kurosaki shoved him towards shore, delicately, and ordered, _‘Now get a fire, it’ll be all romantic and shit. I’m gonna make the best of this.’_

Snorting, Grimmjow started to swim to shore, not in the mood to argue with a bossy fish, not when it worked in his favor. His hands were wrinkly and his eyes were stinging from salt. It was as good an excuse as any to slog back to shore and dry off. Swimming was exhausting, even when Kurosaki was doing most of the work.

It was only a few days apart, that’s all it was. Just felt worse given the situation, and the backstory dripping from their reasons. All in all, he was feeling pretty good about things. One day at a time, that’s all it took. He had Kurosaki, he was happy, and he couldn’t really ask for more.

Beautiful art by [UnformShark!](https://twitter.com/Uniformshark/status/1348408367912529927/photo/1) Check them out! I'm in love ; A ; 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! A drawing ; v ; You made it this far, you earned it ~ Thanks for reading guys!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is almost done, just needs some editing and I'm running sprints to get the ending uvu


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